The Jamaican Adventures of Mamachel

Mamachel Has Moved

2010-07-25T17:12:00.003-05:00

Salutations!

I’ve had a great time at Blogger and I will always love them for popping my blogging virginity. However, All good things come to an end and I’ve decided to move over to WordPress. They have more options that will enable me to provide my readers with a cleaner look aesthetically and features that will allow me to display more adventures.
I wont lie it wasn’t easy but special shout outs to my personal IT crew Dremaican, Experienceaurie, Rummy and DJ Brucki. Lord know’s I’d have popped out my weave by now if it wasnt for you guys … MUAH.

I’m still making tweaks but feel free to send suggestions and I hope you guys stick with me on my new WordPress adventure.

Update your contacts the new address is :mamachel.wordpress.com
Faith and Love,

Mamachel

My Swag Anthem : The Harder they come (throwback Friday)

2010-07-15T22:59:00.000-05:00

Hey Guys,

There are certain songs that you can claim as part of the soundtrack to your life. To me "Harder they come" the song AND the movie was a lesson on how to dream big but also a cautionary tale on letting the dream consume you. I can't tell you how many times I've drawn for this song on a rough day or on a good day even. To me it's the ultimate hustlers' anthem and it's that one song that speaks to my soul because no matter what I go through I've never doubted that I'm going to make it. I hope you can get into the vibe of the song. My throwback Friday choice is "Harder they come" - Jimmy Cliff

*Now could someone please go light a spliff for me? !

Faith & Love ,

Mamachel ... Follow me @mamachell

Wayne Marshall "My Heart" Video Review

2010-07-10T15:44:00.001-05:00

Hey Guys,

The other day I noticed a building buzz about the release of a video from one of our dance hall artistes Wayne Marshall. At first I paid no attention, I'm always hearing about this video and that video only to be disappointed when I view the finished product. Then I saw the trailer, that was all I needed to sit up and pay attention the quality was crisp, there seemed to be a concept and do I dear believe an actual plot? I went to the video launch last night which was sponsored by NCB, Coca Cola, and Flow (sorry if I missed anyone). The support was there in full force with many artistes such as Jah Cure, Mavado (who also is featured in the video), Proteje, Cecile, Chi-ching, present. When the time came and after a couple tries the video was shown in its entirety only for the audience to ask for it to be played two more times. I can genuinely say that I was beyond pleased with the quality of the video, Marshall seems to always find the formula for good entertainment let's not forget "Marshall Town". The plot was solid AND the acting was definitely on point. I look forward to seeing it play on BET, MTV and Much More Music, because its definitely has international quality written all over it. In many ways it reminds me of Common's "Testify" which means that "My Heart" is in excellent company.

Faith and Love,

Mamachell

P.s my only critique of the plot is when the lead was arguing with Wayne AFTER she got caught. Right then and there she needed a hot bax! IMO... Peep the video Below

Summer Sexy

2010-07-08T22:11:00.000-05:00

Work By Loni Jones

Unless you’re living in some parallel universe we’ve all been suffering from this heat. This heat will melt any swag, so I decided to get the help of dapper snapper makeup artiste Loni Jones on how to not only look good but also healthy. Because there really isn’t a difference J.

We all know how hot and humid the summer can be! A lot of sweating, sunburn, chapped lips and the list goes on and on. Summer is the perfect season to wear less and feel the wind on your skin, and the perfect season to over expose our precious skin to the harsh rays of the sun.

Where make up is concerned - less is more - so with that here's a list of makeup tips for the tropics/during the summer!!

- 1^st and foremost WEAR SUN SCREEN or a moisturizer that has sun screen - that will be your saving grace, make it your BFF, apply this every morning before heading through the door. An alternative is using a foundation that contains SPF whether it’s in liquid or powder form...either way, more than ever, summer is SPF season * wearing a product with SPF at night won’t do anything for you ;) *try shiseido extra smooth sun protection cream spf 38*

- Keep skin HYDRATED – it’s so important to keep the skin hydrated! Drink a lot of water and use products that aid in restoring moisture to the skin which will keep the skin looking supple and healthy - Before going to bed, remember to use your night cream too! *try clarins hydra-quench day cream with spf and hydra-quench night cream*

- Keep FOUNDATIONS AT MINIMAL - there's really no need to pile on layers and layers of foundation - skin should be able to breathe through the foundation, not suffocate under it! *try mixing your liquid foundation with your moisturizer – this is also a trick to turn your moisturizer to a "tinted moisturizer"

- PLAY WITH COLORS – that’s not in your makeup wardrobe - those blues and greens or that orange lipstick your mother used to wear in the 80's go ahead, try it!! Now is the time to explore your inner flower power

- Go BRONZE - to warm up dull skin use a bronzer that’s appropriate for your skin tone - bronzer can be flat in colour, or shimmery and range from being liquid to solid. If you have dry skin, use a liquid bronzer / if you have oily skin use a powdered bronzer *try nars bronzer casino for oily skin or one of the bronzing multiples*

- WATER-PROOF IT - assuming that most days will be spent outdoors at the beach, on excursions, at the river or swimming with dolphins – there’s nothing wrong with wearing your mascara or eye-liner, just make sure its water proof! *to fix a mascara that’s not already waterproof, try clarins double fix mascara for eyebrows and eye lashes*

- SMILE - people do take notice of your smile. So keep your lips from looking chapped. Wear a lip product that has SPF - if lips do get chapped mix some honey and sugar to create a scrub, and gently slough off the dead skin from lips - follow with a lip balm! *try la mer - baume de la mer - light weight and silky smooth*

These was brought to you by @Lonz - makeup artist, not jesus! :o)

Faith and Love,

Mamachell

Sex Me Baby Baby

2010-06-08T18:53:00.001-05:00

I’ve heard people blame falling in love on everything. From the moon’s alignment to the cologne/ perfume a person was wearing. But one that I keep hearing over and over again is “ The sex was soo good”. So as I sit here watching 16 & Pregnant, and fantasizing about Brody Jenner feeling up my breasts. I finally decide to write this blog, let’s discuss this. As a female I am very aware that ALL men think you will fall in love with them due to the sex game. Yes, I’ve had sex so good I wanted to buy him a short set. Don’t look at me like that you don't know what I’m talking about. These are the ones that make you “irrational” or as my good friend said makes you act “DICKMATIZED”.

I asked a couple of my male friends if sex can make you fall in love, most said yes but only for females. Apparently men are immune to being “PUSSYTIZED” ß can I say that? Nevertheless, I did find a semi-sensible explanation among all the testosterone covered answers. One young man compared the situation to a river and rocks. He says sex is the river and the rocks are the obstacles blocking love. The river helping to move or cut through the rocks over time. So basically Good/Great sex can help you fall in love faster. *Go figure I was drunk*

Okay so now you’ve sexed me into love... now what? I’m not going to sit here and say I have never been semi dickmatized but I have never confused that with love and i’ve ALWAYS known the source of the feeling. I guess what I’m really trying to figure out here is, how can a feeling as deeply emotional as LOVE be caused by something so purely physical as sex? I mean I’ve SAID stuff... I wont front if you deal wid it right I might even make you some jello, BUT I have NEVER said “I love you” <- But i’ve damn well heard it! Okay im clowning... But seriously, I do agree with men women are more inclined to fall in love based off the sex and not because its that good either but because they tell themselves they are in love. It all goes back to what society thinks and what is acceptable which is if you giving a man yuh chunni then you must be together. And that’s how females end up in loveless relationships running behind some not really worth it man... because he can slang dick. Imma need more than that...

One can be “Dickmatized” at a moment’s notice so I implore my females readers to HALT! At the first sign of Dickmatization and revise the situation at hand. If you find that it is too difficult to do this then it might already be too late. Godspeed.

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

@mamachell

Longest Journey Home Part 1

2010-05-25T12:04:00.001-05:00

Today I sit down and try to write the hardest blog I've ever had to write to date. This one was not about some asshole ex-boyfriend nor was it giving advice to some misguided male or female on the affairs of the heart. It was about Jamaica. My beloved country and all its happenings and how my heart is broken. It is safe to say that no truly aware Jamaican is surprised by what has taken place over the past couple of days, it's been a long time coming. Nevertheless, the manner in which it has been executed leaves many mouths agape.

Yesterday, I sat on the plane at Norman Manley Airport filled with trepidation as to what I would be faced with when I left the airport. My blackberry was filled with messages to stay in New York. The trip home was definitely filled with trials and errors, we'd turn down one road and hear gunshots and turn on another. As I drove home I couldn't help but reflect on how different this ride home was compared to the ones in the past. Apart from the obvious warfare that had broken out,there was a distinct change of soundtrack in my head. Where there was once Protoje's "JA" now lived the Zurna for no other reason than that this place, my country now felt like Iraq.
As I sit here in my house safely atop the city in my very Uptown neighborhood and watch the news and listen to mutty perkins I cry off and on as I hear of soldiers burning bodies, babies being shot this morning and continuous gunfire. I want them to weed out the gunmen but NOT LIKE THIS! I can only pray for my friends who I cannot reach and hope that like me who had a long journey home with many twists, turns, danger and heartache Jamaica will find it's way back home.

P.S. In light of the underground reports of the conduct of the security personnel both Soldiers and Police I felt Buju's song was appropriate. "I could go on and on the full has NEVER been told".

P.P.S. Dear BBC surely you cannot believe that ONLY 12 people alone have been killed. I'd prefer you say "body count unknown" not because Minister of Security say it means its true.

Faith and Love,

Mamachel
follow me on twitter : @mamachell

10 Things That Can Make A Pretty Girl Ugly

2010-04-21T13:07:00.002-05:00

With the invention of items such as makeup, wonder-bra and extendable body parts, its fairly difficult for a woman to get away with being ugly these days. Even the most hideous creature can look somewhat presentable with the right amount of emoluments to compliment her already ailing canvas. However, whether you are Aphrodite or airbrushed from head to foot, there are still of couple of things that force us men to turn and run the other way. Lets face it, beauty is not only skin deep. So whether you’re looking to beef up your beauty repertoire or just plain keep that sparkle in your eye, there are a few things you always want to bear in mind.

1). A Smile can get you a long way. I’m not saying plaster on a set of joker lips, but even the prettiest face can be scarred by a woman who looks like she's sitting in a meat market. Men like to see a pleasant face, we tend to stray away from miserable ones.

2). Its called being nice, learn how to do it. You’d be surprised how much a “sorry I’m not interested” as opposed to a “nigga please” works in your favor. There’s a big difference between being a lady and being a bitch. No one likes a bitch…period.

3). I’m all for blondes, even dumb ones, but there’s a line of stupidity we just won’t cross. You may be pretty enough to get away with asking me what day of the week we’re in, but if you don’t know the days of the week, we have a problem.

4). At no time should you smell worse than we do. Men have been oblivious to a few things for centuries, and we do it because we prefer to live in a lie. As far as we're concerned, Women don’t fart, burp, dodo or stink! So imagine our horror if we realize you smell like a set of basketball shorts after four quarters. Which brings me to my next 3 points… Women should not

5). Burp

6). Fart or…

7). Do Do. I’m not saying you have to hold it in for the rest of your life, I’m just saying we NEVER want to know about it! A woman’s ass is sacred, and it is never to be desecrated by the thought of you popping a squat.

8). They say sex is a weapon… well good sex is its ammunition. Even the prettiest girl can be kicked to the curb, if she’s not servicing her man right. Look at Halle Berry… her Monster’s Ball performance could have saved her first marriage.

9). Don't be too controlling! The yes dear thing works as a cute wedding advice story, but it real life, it could get your coffee poisoned. Let your man, feel in control, even if he has no clue what he's doing. And...

10). If you remember nothing else, remember this. In the end, a man’s bank account always wins. After all, a man is only as attractive as what he can bring to the table, so when we’re stripped of our amour, chances are we wont go in to battle. If it becomes apparent that you are a burden to my bank account, I’m going to have to save my pennies and get a cheaper companion.

You stick to that script, and I gurantee you, you'll spend less time in the salon and more time int he sack.

follow me on twitter @CuffeStuff

Testimonials: Bad Date You Rate 'em

2010-04-15T19:25:00.002-05:00

Howdy Readers,

Once again I apologize for leaving you so long but things have been crazy. I promise to write regularly after May. Moving along ---> My regular readers will know I tell no lie when I say " I need my own reality show" especially int he L-O-V-E department. I thank god that half my experiences have been witnessed with a friend or mutual acquaintance or else people would say that I am lying. I have chronicled quite a number of them on this here blog as far back as this one --> CLICK HERE Well this week will not be about me. This week I asked my followers on twitter to share their worst dates ever. All I can say is thank the lord it doesn't happen to only me. I'm still taking emails and Direct messages but here are a few I have so far

1.HELLS KITCHEN :
Invited me to his house for dinner,worst food ever!After dinner he sat me on the table,said he was ready for dessert and tried to eat me out

2.UNDERCOVER HO-DOWN
She wore no underwear.. It was the first date...she was always on the fone... She asked me out--- undercover sallybug

3.JOLLY RIDER
Would her puking in the cab on the way home count? Sigh

4.PRIVATE DANCER
Haha...one guy took me to a strip club...that's kool tho..I'm open...but it was a BIT much when he excused himself to go pee and I saw hiss ass enter a 'private room' !!

5. NOBU NO BOO
Went to nobu at atlantis and homeboy didn't have enuff $! Thank god for that#caseshithappen$

6.OF ALL THE FISHES IN THE SEA
took a guy out for his birthday to a restaurant...he had fish...and sure did spit the bones out off to the side...of the table

7. THERE ARE NO WORDS
A guy who asked me 20?s.I told him I'm a british citizen he askd "what language do they speak in england?"!(REALLY? Check pls!)

8. BROTHERLY LOVE
Maybe the one where I was the third leg...seemed more like he was on the date with his sister, who jumped in the front seat....

If you don't see yours as yet im working on a part two. For those just reading send me your worst dates. I'd love more entries from men.

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

X-FREN? : When your partners best friends with the EX

2010-02-23T19:42:00.000-06:00

What a gwaan,

Let me start off by saying that how someone feels in this situation is highly based on context. As a result I'm going to tread lightly here as I have been on the hostile end of this situation. I have been that ex who is still best friends. Hell!! I get grief for just being the female friend. Now ladies... As much as i would like to take your sides with this I have to tell you, some of you are straight up tripping. Sometimes you act so jealous and so insecure that you make the man start to wonder what is it about this girl (the best friend) that he might be missing. Surely you cant be tripping for nothing.

Now Listen Mi!! I'm not saying that shady shit doesn't happen , oh yes it does. And it's only human to feel somewhat left out on the inside jokes, the knowing stares the deep stuff he/she might share with that ex. I mean no one wants to feel like a third wheel in their own relationship. BUT take it from someone who's been that best friend... pissing me off is NOT the way to go. I'm not saying you should bow down and be afraid because frankly I'd never hold this over anyones head. However, I do believe that a new partner should respect the HISTORY. Should respect that its takes time to build trust and being with someone 3 -4 months cannot possible equate to a 4 yr relationship. So yes, there are going to be things that he's more comfortable speaking to me about. What's even funny is oftentimes he's asking me for advice about you, so I reiterate pissing me off ... not so smart an idea.

I do believe that if you start feeling like the little sister tagging along or if that ex is ALWAYS around then that is a discussion to take up with your man/woman and if things don't change then there's a deeper decision to be made. But for the love of God Please! Please! PLEASE! Do not attack the friend! the onus is on your man/woman to set those boundaries.

At the end of the day KNOW THIS they're the EX that was the past and your are the NOW... Be rationale because You might just push and end up really taking her place.

Think About it...

Faith and Love,

Mamachell

Mirror Mirror On the Wall ; View from Venus

2010-02-14T17:29:00.000-06:00

Salutations!!,

I've read Mars' post and while I agree with what he is essentially saying I do have a few things that I need to clarify. Yes whether the person is prettier or uglier it will hurt however, there is such a thing as twisting the knife. Regardless of what most men would like you to believe they are very cognisant of whether a man is more attractive or not. How else could you explain jealousy? You're trying to tell me that men aren't aware that Common is hot? I don't believe you.
When I threw the question out there alot of men said that they'd prefer if he was uglier but more succesful that way he could justify that it was financial reasons why she left. To date ONLY two men have said "Chels, I just dont want to know if he's ugly or not". And so from the male point of view I must agree with Mars men tend to be more concerned if his penis is bigger or if he's better in bed but try as you might to pretend I know it still hurts. Now on the female psyche...

Im not going to front... If a man leaves me for a uglier girl thats gonna mess me u p ALL sorts a ways. Remember Im not the only one seeing her, EVERYBODY is going to see her. Everyone is going to see you (my ex) with and "Ugly Girl" not that's a kick in the stomach. Tell me how do you explain that?! 0_o If she's rich you get a lucky break just label his ass as a gigalo and move on people will believe that before they believe he left your fine ass for a simple jane. Leave you for someone prettier then he's just shallow. It's really a lose lose situation cause at the end of the day she has him or he has her and your ass is left alone, a clearly ugly feeling.
The way I see it Brad Pitt did it best he got a bad ass bitch that no one could deny was hot. As much as he went about his infidelity the wrong way people were understanding cause at the end of the day people are shallow with egos.
Leave me fora bitch so bad I can't help but be a fan. Let me be on the phone like "This asshole! I hate him but damn that bitch is bad". That's my point if you leave my ass it better be for Tits, Ass, Smile And a motha loving personality and then you Might get a bligh.

Faith and Love ,

Mamachel

P.s. follow me on twitter.com/@mamachell

Mirror Mirror On the wall : View From Mars

2010-02-05T21:44:00.001-06:00

Now you got to ask yourself this question, if you were to get hit down by a car, would you want it to be a Benz or a Lada? If you’re going to be put in prison, do you want it to be for a big crime or a little one? Then in the same breath if you know your significant other is leaving you for someone else, do you want it to be for someone better looking or uglier?
Mars seems to have a somewhat different outlook on this entire situation, that I’m sure Venus will have choice words for. Where as the female may be concerned with questions like "is she prettier that me" or "does she have a better body", men seem to really only be concerned with one key issue… "is he better than me in the sack".
This may stem from the fact that the male ego doesn’t permit us to see another male as better looking or better built, but our animalistic instinct would always like to know that you were a better lover.
Lets face it, a mans personal appearance meter can be boosted by things like money, possessions and success, whereas the only real thing a woman can do to enhance her appearance is slap on another quote of makeup, a wonder bra or a tight short skirt. In the end it all comes down to sex.
Think about it ladies, has your new love interest asked you any of the following questions pertaining to your ex boyfriend–
1). Does he have a bigger dick than me?
2). Did he always make you come?
3). What positions did you guys do?
4). What did he do that you didn’t like?
But gentlemen, how many times have you heard
1). Is she prettier than me?
2). Did she have a bigger butt?
3). Does she have bigger breast?
4). Are you still attracted to her?
In the end it’s only wise to remember that no two people are alike in appearance, and attraction is something that doesn’t only stem from a physical perspective. But if you can keep your lady happy in the sack, there will be a lot less breakups and a whole lot more make up sex!

Faith & Love,

Mars
Hit me on twitter --> @Psykemike

Tax Eh Turbii --> How dis tax ting hurt di dating :p

2010-01-08T18:22:00.001-06:00

Greetings!!,

I hope this blog finds everyone in a good mood for the new year and if not, then hold firm as good things come to those who wait. Speaking of waiting for good things it starting to look like with the current economic situation many girls both local and abroad going to have to wait for likkle money to spend on them. If one time we coulda cuss a man that he's mean for not spending any money now we have to look on tings and give him a pass... Yes! Give the men a pass. Have you seen the new prices out there? Here is a list of a few things that might possibly get affected:

1] Pick up:- As a girl that grew up living on God's back (really far) you kinda learned to judge how serious a guy was if he insisted on picking you up. BUUUT with these new gas prices, gas tax you have to see with him if he says "meet me there" or if those daily pick ups from work become every other day. Hey! he can still open the car door when you reach

2] Restaurant Calibre :- Bwaay big and serious I drove into a Burger King drive through and saw a combo for $600 JMD that's around $5.00 USD that might not seem like alot but gone are the days when you can push up you mouth at some Burger King. One bredren tell me that if a girl order lobster she must plan fi run di pums 0_o *hard times I telling you people*.. Ladies you betta reat that BK like is fine dining or a man might be having his way right away lol

3] Allowance:- Now this one dedicated to the kept women the ones with "sugar daddies" you gonna have start budgeting out how you spend that money baaayybee 'cause guaranteed the monthly allowance getting cut down. You have to be understanding School fee raise for the kids, wife still want the lifestyle she's used to , and so naturally is your budget get cut have no fear please see the following budgeting tip.

4] Weave: Yes I said it.. Weeeaavee! Plenty girls wont be getting any dates cause dem ugly without it and weave prive gone up my dear. Yaki cyaaan wear again and Milky way is a luxury maybe you should bring back the alicia keys look and invest in some Kanikalon (not sure is suh it spell). Men don't be surprised if you start seeing alotta "natural mystic" everywhere just support her and have some wonder 8 oil ready in case that puff is dry :p

But on a serious note does this mean that we have to settle in the dating world? That we both have to behave like orphan annie and split a whopper in two?! I think not I think now is the best time to get creative. Ladies instead of going out to dinner and spending more money invite him over make something to eat and here's the thing It doesn't have to be a three course meal. Make some Mac n' Cheese and serve that in nothing but a apron and heels and TRUST MI he'll praise that like its Fillet Mignon*

Fellas rent a DVD invite her over put that on aprojector and have a movie night at home. Sheeitt serve me some Mac n Cheese ina apron alone *sans heels*

If anything these hard times will affirm its what ive been saying all along "it's the little things that matter" .

Faith and Love <- they're tax free,

Mamachel

Make Me Over? View from Venus

2009-12-18T19:35:00.000-06:00

It's something i've seen constantly in relationships whether it's romantic or strictly platonic someone's always trying to change the other person. Im not talking about parents naggin you to change this or that. They can get away with that, it's their JOB. Im speaking about mainly in the relationship you know what I'm talking about that significant other who always seem to have some form of criticism. Now before men take this and run with it I see nothing wrong with offering advice to a partner about something that can make the relationship run more smoothly i.e return calls, inform if your going to be late, or don't talk down to me infront of my boys all with a nice PLEASE. What I have a problem with is someone trying to change WHO they knew you were before they started the relationship. Homey you knew she was a lush wasn't she drunk when you got her number? Woman didn't you meet him with braids, how all of a sudden you want him bald?
I see it as a deception. How might you ask? Well here I am all happy that I've found someone that loves me for all my quirks and faults only to find out over time that in fact you weren't in love with who I am but with who you could make me. I have a major problem with is.I cannot count the times i've dated a guy only to be disappointed by the criticisms "so hmm chel you swear alot" to which I respond "fuck yeah, you didnt know me before?" This is one of the fundamental problems in most relationships or inability to accept a aprtner for who they are.Many of us go into relationships with the intent to change. WHY?!!! I can't tell you how many times I have heard a girl say " He's not my type but I can work with it" and everytime I ask myself "Wat shi really mean by work wid it, after is not a house she a buy and fix up?". I shake my head because sooner or later someone's going to get tired of either being nagged or not being able to change a person.
Here is my concern... If you dont like that fact that I drink ( some might say alot sic ), swear like a sailor, and speak my mind then we definately can't be in a relationship. I've heard of men not wanting their girls to speak patios (patwah) in public o.0 I wish a nigga would try and tell me what dialect I could and could not use cause last time I checked my tongue was in MY mouth hmph.
At the endof the day i've spent many lonesome nights and days because I'm not trying to change anyone I love you for who you are BUT you aren't always for me but we cool.. right?All i'm saying is the minute a man starts trying to make me over I'm gone. "Take me as I am, or have nothing at all" <- who sing dat again?

Faith and Love,

Mamachell

Feelin Hot! Hot! Hot! Diary: Day 5 <- Yippee

2009-12-04T20:48:00.000-06:00

Salutations,

Today was a great day. I had promised my readers that I'd bounce back from yesterday's shame with a vengeance and I think I did a fair enough job (if I may say so myself). Oh well, One with it!

6:30 a.m.: I wake up and get to work after much deliberation over which shoes I have to match what top I choose my outfit and jump into the shower (plug in curling iron) <- not necessarily in that order.

Things run smoothly for the morning I even put on some eyeshadow (mad ting). I step out the door and reel so confident I dont even pack a B.U.B (back up bingo).

8:35 a.m.: I'm greeted at the door with a whistle and a "Wow! hot girl" :) Throughout the day I get random compliments from co workers and visiting clients and vendors. Shooks my hair was so on point someone thought I had gone tot he hairdresser. All in all it was a success.

3:30 p.m.: I touch up makeup not too much. I also make plans to meet my bredren at Devon House to enjoy some Devon Stout ice cream, I'm sorry I have to go "somewhere" and it's food (my belly shall lead me astray).

Findings: My admiration for women who can maintain this look on a daily basis has grown immensely. And although I cannot promise you that I will develop those habits (I do believe you have to be girly by nature) I cannot deny that the compliments and attention wasn't pleasant. I will dress up every now and then just as a reminder :)

P.S. thanks to all my readers and tweeps who followed, encouraged, commented, read and most importantly woke me the hell up :) It was appreciated. To my new readers welcome and thank you and to the veterans bless i appreciate the encouragement.

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

Feelin Hot!Hot!Hot! Diary: Day 4

2009-12-03T19:08:00.001-06:00

Hey guys,

My worthless internet provider LIME (Luu In Mostly Everything) isn't working so I'll have to type from my phone. Soo without further hesitation let me just tell you guys.

I WOKE UP LATE nothing got done. Yup that's right no makeup, no contacts, no curled hair the only thing that got in the mix was the thong (I am determined). Bare with mi peeps, I didn't have my car and was begging a ride.
I actually lotioned my legs and moisterized my face in the car. Shheeeiitt I even forgot my emergency bingo! And as further proof that I failed I got zero compliments today as a matter of fact I got a mean side eye (sigh) All in all I let my little experiment go today so tomorrow for the last day I plan to go all out.

Day 4: Failed *hangs head in shame*

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

P.s. Pic to come later :s

Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel

Feelin Hot! Hot! Hot! Diary: Day 3

2009-12-02T20:21:00.000-06:00

Hello,

Let me just jump right in. I'm having a bittersweet moment with this experiment. While I have come to realize that I am more comfortable in my own skin than I thought I am also suffering from lack of sleep that being said let's move along tot he day...Straight up this is not for me. ...

7:00 a.m. : I finally roll over and gasp (anybody else notice how I'm waking up later and later?) Well this beauty ting is seriously taking its toll. I gotta wake up earlier than normal to get shit done meng.

7:30 a.m. : It finally hits me that its really really late and while I love this blog and want to give my readers a good experience some of the beauty regime have to be sacrificed for the J-O-B. So I take out my trusty black pencil skirt and black top and throw in some black heels and a scarf (feeble attempt at jazzing up) and shot it through the door. Oh yeah, I forgo makeup (hangs head in shame)

8:45 a.m. : I reach work and head straight to the kitchen to make some tea (rough morning). I'm greeted by my co worker who takes one look at me and asks "Who died?" I'm like what? He repeats with way more seriousness "Oh God Chel did someone die? Im so sorry didnt mean to make a joke. You're going to a funeral dont it?"
I simply smile and say "Nope, no funeral" I'm greeted with confused :s stares

9:00 a.m. : I trudge back to my desk not feeling so cute at all. So far I've been confused for a emo coworker who might be heading to a funeral.

The day passes with little or no activity. No thong violation in sight, in fact I haven't looked at the emergency Bingo in my bag all morning. I'm starting to believe that said thong from day 1 whose name shall not be repeated might have been sent by satan himself.

1:20 p.m. : I look up to see a jancrow from the past standing in my office. Sigh of course, the one day I don't wear make up or put much curl in my hair, would be the ONE DAY that as ass from the past would surface. Nevertheless, I go about my business but now I get an understanding of how these females think. I get that little voice whispering in my ear "You never know who you might see". Oh well lesson learnt but I'm still not sure I could do this outside of the experiment.

Day 3: 75% completed with 1 lesson learnt

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

Feelin Hot! Hot! Hot! Diary: Day 2

2009-12-01T19:22:00.001-06:00

Howdy Folks,

So this is day two of my experiment in which for one week I will try to maintain the hotness. Here we go

6:00 a.m. : Psssh! Roll over hit snooze button

6:30 a.m. : I get a blackberry message "Alm wake up you need to get pretty" . 0_o Awww frig I'm late!! so I jump out of bed and stretch. At least I know what I'm wearing however, I fell asleep before ironing so off to ironing I go (groan can someone do this for me?!).

7:20 a.m. : and I plug in my curling iron then rush into the shower ( I do a mental check to ensure I turned on the heater).
7:45 I start hyperventilating as I try to tweet AND lotion AND BBM AND curl my hair. But then I read my tweets and I must say shout outs for all the encouragement a bitch was this >< close to grabbing a pair of jeans and some gel.

8:00 I press the nos (is suh it spell?) and get ready in crazy seconds everything is on rapid inclusive of makeup and hair. I'm happy with the results and I can leave on time to get to work. White and Grey pinstripe pants, White blouse and navy blue loafers.

As the day progresses I realize I now have the hang of this although I am still annoyed at the makeup on my cell phone but I brought a tissue to wipe it off and i did get another compliment at work "oww!"

By 3:13 i'm faded and need to touch up my make up but frankly I have no time I got owrk out the waazoo and i havent eaten lunch as yet. Im pretty certain I look stressed and hungry but when i finally get to look in the mirror I'm surprised I look normal.
By 5:15 no amount of MAC cosmetics technology can save me I'm ready to leave and so I do.

I must say however that on more than one occassion I almost juck out my eye when trying to put in my contacts. AND although the thong violation wasn't as bad as yesterday I was still acutely aware that i was not alone all day (LOL). It is tiring to constantly be aware of ones appearance though. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Day 2: Completed.

Love and Faith
Mamachel :)

Feelin Hot! Hot! Hot! Diary: Day 1

2009-11-30T19:20:00.000-06:00

Salutations People! Im one of those females who will always give respect and compliments when they are deserved. That being said let me get into my topic. I'm always seeing these women around the ones that are always put together Hair curled up, make up well done, no pantie lines and clothes ironed. You know these women man the ones who leave the chair smeilling like perfume when they get up... Anyways, Ive always admired them as a woman I know it takes a good amount of work to be so well put together all day. Anyhoo, I have decided to find out exactly how much work goes into looking like this daily. Now I'm no plain jane but trust me when it comes to work clothes I dont excactly go all out so follow me as I try to be hot ALL WEEK

DAY ONE (cue Law & Order dum dum)

6:00 a.m : Woke up on time looked chose a black flair skirt and turqouise top, nothing fancy I know but let's play it safe for the first day. I do the requisites i.e. bathe, brush teeth and then I eye the thong skeptically for those of you who dont know I despise those things. Anyways, I decide to bite the bullet.
I put on make up and feel my skin as wth do the hair, shove the contacts in and head on out surprisingly on time.

8:30 : Reach work, we're locked outside and I start worrying that my makeup might not look so hot in a couple of minutes. We get inside just in the nick of time and I notive a couple of my co workers staring at me funny.

9:15: Male co worker comments on my look saying "hey I guess I could get used to this" We head into production meeting where my "new face" becomes a 5 minute topic. I try not to squirm

As the day progresses I find that Im not as uncomfortable as I anticipated nevertheless I am annoyed with the makeup that comes off on my phone everytime I answer it. As I start to relax and get all diva drama strikes.

2:30 or 3:00 p.m.: The thong starts violating me I send BBM to sistren "I can't do this this friggin thong is violating me.. mi mad fi tek it off and go commando" the response "Do it! and add that in your blog" well folks I didn't. I squirm, I shift I slide but I did not take it off. But let me say it's a sad affair when you looking on a clock so you can go home and take off a panty.

I work late and leave the office at 6:00 p.m. by this time my hair is messy, my make up is stale (forgot the kit for touch ups) and I've already filled you in onthe panty situation. As i drive home I seriously wonder if I can continue this project....

Day one: complete

Best Friends till the End like Chucky? <- Mars View

2009-11-15T19:48:00.001-06:00

Okay I'll admit it, I'm a Greys Anatomy fan. That being said I was eagre to see the Patrick Dempsey chick flick Made Of Honour in which he plays a once carefree playboy who is asked by his best friend (played by the beautiful Michelle Monaghan) to be the 'maid of honour' at her wedding. The only 'other' obvious problem with this scenario, is he now realizes that he has fallen head-over-heels for his gal pal. It got me thinking about all those stories of best buddies turned lifelong partners I've heard about about. In many cases the feeling is mutual, but others, lifelong friendships have been shattered when one party realizes they just don't feel the same way about the other. This now begs the question, Should you tell your best friend you want to move from a platonic relationship to a romantic one?

Mars has mixed feeling where this is concerned, so we'll try to break it down into the most important things to consider before making your decision.

1). Familiarity doesn't over-ride caution. Even though you've been with her for what you consider most of your life, when it comes to emotions, you might not know her as well as you think you do. Knowing her favorite color or flavor ice-cream is a far cry from how she will react to situations of the heart. In these situations it's not a bad idea to read, re-read and read again before making your decision.

It's already a lot harder to negotiate matters of tangible interest with the ones you love, so imagine how difficult it will be when it comes to your emotions.

2). It's also possible she feels the same way, but just doesn't know it yet. Sometimes you've become so familiar with a situation it's hard to see it as anything else. Rum and Coke may have never known they would make such a spectacular drink until one of them was bold enough to mix with the other. Sometimes it's up to you as the individual to shake things up and see what could possibly surface.

3). Then there's the all or nothing rule. Is it better to live the rest of your life not knowing what may have been, or risk it all for the off chance that she may feel the same way? As a poker player my first instinct would be to yell "Srew it, I'M ALL IN"... but many a player have done the same thing and left the table empty handed. While it is true that the man who saves his chips and folds on every play could possibly make it to the end of the game, he still risks going home empty handed.

Advice: The most important thing to remember before making this decision is to reassure your gal pal that if she doesn't feel the same, you still value the friendship and want things to be as they were. In some cases a woman's greatest fear is that she does give it a try, and if things don't work, you risk destroying something sacred.This is by all means possible, but it's up to the two of you to remember the strong foundation for which the relationship was built in the first place, and that's friendship. So if you feel the need to err on the side of caution, there's nothing wrong with playing it safe, but just remember, the greater the risk, the sweeter the rewards!

Sex with the Ex? - A view from Venus

2009-10-31T17:24:00.000-05:00

Let me jump right in... !

Hopefully, by now everyone has read my fellow blogger Cuffe's post about Sex with the Ex. If not then click here to see. Now I would like to tell him thanks as I always want to ensure I'm representing my male readers. HOWEVER, its now my turn to go all in. So, LET'S GO!

First and foremost I will display no objectivity on this topic. Plain and straight ladies DONT DWEET! Be honest with yourselves you cannot have sex with an ex and not "catch feelings", it's gonna happen. "Listen mi!" (Bounti Killa voice) you might as well start the countdown from the moment your panty reach your ankles. Sure we are all adults here and most times females do go into these situations with good intentions of staying neutral and not falling back in like or in love with the person but fact is fact you will get caught up. Now let's look into why women might have sex with the ex. Cause according to Cuffe post men do it because its Free, Easy and Known waters (hmm recycling my yute?). Ladies on the other hand do it because....

1] She doesn't want to run up her numbers :- hate to break the ego guys but alot of times a girl just don't wanna run up the count. As a result, she just keeps sleeping with you until she can find someone else. And yes sometimes you might do something that makes her think you might be reconsidering (DANGEROUS WATERS)

2] She isnt sure about the guy she just started dating :- Mi tyad fi tell you men but women love sex just as much as you do. If a girl just met you chances are she's going to be on her best behaviour... with you. That dont mean she isnt horny and so she might just continue to link up the ex on the sly till she's certain that's where she wants to go with you.

3] She hopes the pokey gonna kidnap you back into loving her : - lawd gee. Some women are convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that they can MAKE a man love them. While sex is a good way to ensure a booty call, it sure as hell dont guarantee no love.

4] It feels good :- yea you know how to hit that ONE spot right over there ....

Advice: Leave the ex alone it's gonna be hard at the beginning as most people are drawn to the familiar. But why expose yourself to all that heartache, pain and self doubt. Love yourself first and someone deserving will come along. Sex with the ex is like driving on a Donut wheel its alright for aa momentary problem but eventually its gonna cause a problem. Why? Because a Donut wheel is NOT the real thing.

Faith and Love,

Mamachell

Sex with the Ex ? - A View from Mars

2009-10-31T00:06:00.000-05:00

Salutations,

Im trying something different with this topic. In my never ending quest to be as objective as possible I have recruited @MCuffe (hit him up on twitter) to bring the male point of view to the table. Hopefully, my male readers will now feel that they are represented here and i'll get to wild out a little more :P

Let's Go !!!!!

Now everyone's heard of the five second rule right? Well just in case you're not familiar with it, I'll bring you up to speed. The five second rule applies to food consumption, and has to do with the amount of time that food is allowed to be on the floor before one can safely put it in their mouth again. Is there any scientific explanation behind the five second rule, or are there certain conditions that apply to the five second rule or are their any exceptions? Well across cultures we see variations of this rule from the three second rule to the seven second rule, and even as much as 5 minutes. In Russia they even have a saying which goes (translated) "Promptly picked up is not considered fallen"!

So if this rule can be applied to something as important as food, why can't a similar structure be in place for Ex's? Someone who obviously impacted your life in a large enough way for them to be considered your 'significant other' has suddenly fallen from grace and is no longer worthy of that title, does that mean they loose all privileges including sexual ones? Well assuming that one becomes an Ex the minute you decide to blow the whistle on the relationship, is there really a five second rule that applies to when you're allowed to dust them off and put them back in the sack, also assuming they will continue to remain an Ex once the lustful indulgence is over?

As a matter of fact, I call no limits on this one. I figure sex between two people is completely up to them, and should hold no moral restrictions, given that you're willing to suffer the emotional roller coaster than may ensue.

The view from Mars is, in most cases, sex for a man is usually less emotional than it is for a woman. When viewing an Ex, all the ground work has pretty much been done. It's like buying a candy bar, you know what it tastes like, so you know if you want to try it again. The problem with meeting someone new is you have to satisfy a number of criteria which usually doesn't happen till after the encounter is done. Therefore, sex with an Ex can actually be more beneficial. My only exception, sex with an Ex will be considered a no-no once one is committed to someone else, but for the time leading up to that moment, I really don't see a problem recycling what may be considered used goods

The main concerns I have with this little agreement is as mentioned before, the emotional damage that could result. If sex is more of an emotional thing for a woman, than even if she tells you "it's just sex" chances are you will fall into the trap of "playing with her emotions". It's hard for a woman to separate something physical from something emotional, especially something they view as sacred as sex. Very far and few are the women in this world who view sex as a man does, therefore you need to be wary of all women, unless you are absolutely sure your Ex-gal doesn't roll over and ask you that universal exit question "So what does this mean?"

The five second rule is a lovely way of justifying an act that most people view as unhealthy, just as Ex's being off limits is a way of justifying an act that most people view as immoral. As far as Mars see's it, there are 3 things you definitely don't want to reuse, toilet paper, tampons and condoms (thats just gross). As far as Ex's are concerned, as long as it's good, that's one piece of food, I won't mind munching on again!

Chivalry can confuse the pokey police :l

2009-10-26T21:02:00.001-05:00

Salutations!

Chivalry: courteous behavior, especially that of men towards women.(cheapskate man unu nuh haffi spend money suh yuh excuse lame)

Many times as females we end up focusing on the negative. He doesn't do this and he doesn't do that. So much so that we often miss the opportunity to encourage the goods things that are there. Oh yes! There are men who are bastards through and through, treat them likewise.

But I'm talking about that open the door, pull out your chair, walk on the outside when you on the street, manly man. Notice not once have I mentioned him spending money. Because I don't want it to get twisted. To be a gentleman, to be chivalrous you simply need to treat a woman as a lady. I don't know one woman who would strike off points if you pulled out her chair. At the end of the day a lady likes to feel that a man put in effort. We are all grown folks here we know that you eventually want to get to the promised land. We know that while you are talking to us you can't help your eyes from drifting to our cleavage. And secretly we like that, why the hell you think we wore this tight as wrap dress for?! But your eyes cannot be glued to said cleavage, that's when antennas go up. You best believe being chivalrous can definitely confuse the pokey police.

What ever does that mean you ask. Well when you hop to it and say "aye baby mek wi do a ting nuh..." a message goes to dispatch that says "red alert, red alert, infiltrator detected!" then pokey police is deployed and you get's no love. But when you come at me calm and cool, with that chivalrous swag everybody up in headquarters chilling not even seeing that you've broken down my walls and by the time they notice you done got some loving 2 or 3 times (if you can keep up).

All fun and jokes aside though. There are certain ways you can melt a girl, I mean really melt her and being chivalrous is definitely one of them. She might not say anything to you but trust me she's ont he phone with her girl the first chance she gets "Girl he carried my bags, opened the doors, pulled out my chair.. him a work fi it man". Trust me we notice and we appreciate it. Cause no matter how "Strong" a woman portrays herself we all want to be treated like a princess from time to time.

So fellaz everytime you feel like its too much work to put in for a woman remember this "You catch more Bees with honey"

P.S. Chivalry is not fi everybody. Some girl wouldn't know wah fi duh wid it. Is up to you to observe and see if a woman deserves it.

P.P.S. Ladies demand it. you will get it.

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

What's the Real Deal

2009-10-09T19:20:00.004-05:00

She Says.....

It's 2009 most women are on their own making money/buying houses/starting families and just basically justifying why they have that "S" on their chest. So why is it that the one arena we cannot conquer is the one of Love? Could it be that we are getting conflicting messages from the other team? For instance, I have heard numerous male friends speak on the fact that they hate a woman who pretends, that they want someone who is upfront, someone who will not beat around the bush, in essence "If she like me, she like me, and we just work from that". However, I am a little confused as these same men are the ones who wife up the women who act as if they have never seen a peen in all their lives.
Oh come on you know the ones I'm speaking of, the "virginzzz" the ones who MUST be in a relationship to be sexually involved with anyone ( at least that's what they claim). And if it was a genuine criteria I see nothing wrong with that but it usually is some spiel practiced infront of a mirror. The ones who(with a straight face) will tell a guy that they've only slept with 3 men in all their 34 years of life and those were all serious relationships. Those are the girls men inevitably wife up. Those are the ones you wine and dine not knowing that while you wining and dining in hopes of likkle nash Joe grind coming over round 11pm to sort out har bizniz. Then, when couple years down the line you find out that yes she did sex that whole crew but everyone thought you knew you ready to have a heart attack.

My opinion is that some women react differently with different men. While one man can get a girl to do the nasty in the parking lot another one will never have the chance of seeing that side of her. So don't judge the girl maybe just maybe you have that power over her :D

My Question is:
Does this type of behaviour encourage ladies to be continually deceptive to their male counterparts?

The fear of being judged is stronger than you think ....

He Says....

You'd have to be as stupid mofo to believe that a girl isn't sleeping with anyone. Most females love sex as much as any other man.
I get a little suspicious of the above mentioned virginnz cause its 2009 I haven't bucked up a genuine one in years. To the sisters out there being royal and true I'm proud of you. But I like a girl who is upfront and plays no games and I hate a liar. You could sleep with me the first night we meet in the end its your attitude after, that will help me determine if your a ho

That's the Real Deal

Love and Faith

Mamachel

The Greatness of Friendship

2009-10-03T13:16:00.004-05:00

Salutations,

Today I take a break from all the cynicism and take a look at the brighter side of life. Today I want to speak on friendship. Not acquaintances but good honest to god friends. In this day and age friends come from all different sources. I can wholeheartedly say that I have friends on twitter who know stuff my closer to home friends might not.
At the end of the day friends will help you through everything and I just wanted to say thank you to all the real friends out there. The ones who give me that kind word of wisdom when I am down, the ones who show so much faith in me when I have immense doubts. And the ones who tell me like it is those are the most valuable. So whether you're a twitter friend, best friend, mad friend, wise friend, Indian of chief as long as you're a Good friend .. thank you ... :)

Love and Faith,

Mamachel

Kiss My BBM ....

2009-09-20T20:30:00.005-05:00

Hey,

This will be short

I'm good at observing. If you're trying to pick that wedgie with no one seeing chances are I'm that 'itch (no pun intended) at the other end of the room laughing cause I caught you. So for all the men out there tryna "check" me please please please (insert James Brown voice) DO NOT think for one minute I don't see you.

Case In Point:

How is it that you have time to BBM (blackberry messenger) me on the daily, asking for pictures and sending crazy emoticons/smileys but once I no longer have a blackberry you go missing? No No people, I mean really missing. Like I'm about to call Whoopi to be a medium cause clearly this nigga has gone Ghost. And to make matters worse you on my facebook, msn AND you have my number.
Please, Please, Please <--- there go James Brown again, don't let me find out that you're one of these new generation cheap skates who have no clue how to even attempt to get in a some drawers. Ladies, you know what i'm talking about the ones who ONLY hit you up on Twitter, BBM, Facebook chat, MSN. Anything to avoid buying minutes or credit. No pupah jeezaz dem man give a new meaning to penny pincha!

And then I start thinking what's going to happen when I get back another Blackberry and should I re-add him will he just pick up where we left off? Like should I just accept your pin request then start talking like you haven't ignored me for the past month? Should I just ignore the fact that although you want pokey you find it hard to spend a $17.50 per a minute just to say hello? Suh wait what gonna happen when you finally get di goods? All lef fi mi expect is some messenger pigeon.

Here's the verdict: In the end this young man does not deem the young lady worthy enough to put some minutes on him phone and make a call. And while the onus is not necessarily on the man to always call it is recommended especially seeing he was looking the naa naa in the first place. Anyways, if him cyan spend some money fi likkle credit fi call OR text a girl him "like" then re-add him yes and when him send you a :* (that's kiss in BBM) just reply and say "Hey cheap ass KISS my BBM

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

Wah Cause Dat?!

2009-08-31T22:13:00.005-05:00

What's up?

People I have soo much to say but I can't let it out all at once. Let me jump right in. My last post was about "Why men love crazy women". In all honesty I wrote that blog thinking it would be a one time blog. Man was I wrong! After some recent events it's become very clear to me that there will always be that one crazy 'ish that will make it bad for every calm, collected and composed female out there.

Have you ever seen some shit that has left you aghast? I'm not talking like a "wow" here people, I'm talking like a "Boooommmbboocllaattt!!!". Well I did. I saw some shit that made everything that I have ever posted about "crazy women" doing seem like they just threw a tantrum. So now I want some of these very "expressive" young ladies to talk to me and answer the following questions:

1] A wah cause dat?! - Like Tina Turner said "what's love got to do with it?!". You are telling me that you're on the floor in the club crying holding on to homeboy's pants because he said he doesn't love you?! Please please somebody pass me a belt 'cause this young lady need some discipline in her life.

2] Inna Real Life ?! - I have to ask like are you aware that this is real life and NOT Fatal Attraction? Do youknow that by doing certain things that there are consequences.?You can't break into his house or car and not get charged if he wants to. And please don't let me start talking about the stalking... Short of a nigga giving me something venereal I CANNOT think of what he could do to make me act this way.

3] You rolling Inna mad gyal posse?! - I am a true believer in the power of friendship. Friends save you from buying that bright green sequin dress wid the tie and dye lace around the edges (don't ask) and friends can talk you into and out of things. Do Not get me wrong, if my sistren thinks her man of four (4) years cheating on her I'll do a little drive by for her to check. But if she plan to go to suspected jump offs workplace and play the fool???? smaddy pass di belt cause mi haffi discipline har!!
Friends don't let friends do stupid shit. full stop comma, dash dash., --

4] Where is your self respect?! - Now I know alot of females are going to say this is unfair and I'm a bitch. But in the end unless you've been glamorized (sp) by some True Blood vampire then you ultimately have control over yourself. NUH MAN!! can mek me act like a ediat outta road! translation = Naan nigga can get me to act a fool in dah street! Are you maaaad? You mean to tell me that in big big 2009 I must create scene over someting as common as penis AND it nuh patent?! I would crazy glue myself to my bed before i go outta road and quarrel or beg a man back. He cannot make you crazy. You make yourself crazy and trust me I am that bitch in the corner sipping my henney taking in the scene and saying "WTH?!!"

Don't get me wrong people. I'm not made of stone, I've shed my fair share of tears over a broken heart but almost always in private or to close friends. And yes, oh yes there have been those brave ones who have tried me... But I've always been able to discipline them before things got out of hand. Ladies a man once told me that he couldn't do to me anything that I didn't allow and that has stuck with me all these years. You need to know YOU HAVE DI PUM PUM POWAH!! Use it! Don't have no man feeling extra special or all big headed because you killing up yourself over him.

Take mamachel's foolish advice: If you want to get a man's attention just play cool act like, his not calling or seeing you has been no big deal. Don't call him back and when you see him out smile and be ever so polite. It will make him pause trust me...

But anyways if you've ever pulled a Jazmine Sullivan or Not maybe a Carrie Underwood then hit me up let me know what was the motive behind it.... Cause i really need to understand.

Love and Faith,

Mamachel

Di Maddah Di Sweetah??!!!

2009-08-15T20:09:00.003-05:00

Public arguments, collection of evidence, police sirens, carefully co ordinated tails. No people this is not an episode of Law & Order. It is the recollections of some of my male friends of some "crazy" females they've been involved with. I cannot tell you how many times I have bared witness (open mouthed of course) to some female getting out and bad on another guy. And almost always I have thought to myself "wow that relationship is over". Well, silly me. I just recently found out that a large percentage of men loves a crazy woman.

I have had bredrens bring a change of clothes when we are going out because the girl they're seeing is following them. Oh Ive received many a emails warning me to stay away from more than one childhood friend. And yes people, I have been physically accosted due to some misunderstanding. Oh trust me there was a misunderstanding. But when I ask my friends "Why don't you leave her?". Some look scared others reply, "Jah know, she though!". As a result I have come to the conclusion that as long as you're hot most men will put up with anything.

As usual in my efforts to remain objective I asked around five of my sane male friends the following: 1] Why Do you love crazy women? 2] Is it a Ego thing? and 3] Is the sex really that much better?. Most of them didn't really have a reason as to why they loved the crazy ones but they all agreed that it did get old after awhile. One making the analogy of the crazy girl being a speeding bike going downhill after awhile you're going to get tired and you will eventually get hurt. But almost all unanimously agreed that yes the sex is actually better as the "crazy" ones are actually less inhibited and keeping them around is indeed a ego thing. As one bredren so eloquently put it, "Yuh just waan feel seh is your cocky mek she gwaan suh mad. She doa waan share it, she want i all fi harself because it dat good". Jesus take the wheel.

On that note. I'm glad I know all this now. No longer will I waste my efforts by making roast fish for my man, giving him kisses,or doing something as silly as being kind nor compassionate. Instead, the next man I speak to can expect some shit that will make Jazmine Sullivan and Carrie Underwood look like my little ponies. Yep, brace yourself! I'm coming with the good stuff my next boyfriend can expect public arguments, broken windshields, incessant texting, whippings, broken plates, impromptu crying and to top it off I'm going to memorize the serial numbers on your condoms.

Cause clearly the maddah di sweetah.

Mamachel ,

Faith and Craziness (Love)

Special Request Throw Backs :)

2009-07-31T11:03:00.003-05:00

Hey!!,

It's throwback fridays again and last week I got a special request. I always want to appease my readers so here we go. Fresh Prince "Summertime" and Little mermaid's sebastian in "Undah Di Sea". Both requests take me to a fun place in my memory music always seems to do that. I know everyone can associate "Summertime" with some family barbeque and let's not talk about when Sebastian came on the scene he's the pimp of crabs... hands down ...

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

Throw Back Friday - The Kings

2009-07-24T07:13:00.002-05:00

Good Morning,

I hope you're enjoying my Throw Back Friday series so far. For me it's a serious stroll down memory lane. Each song brings back a specific moment for me. This song brings back memories of coming home during the summer and me and my sisters heading out to party. This was definitely playing through the two bazooka speakers. It was also the first time I saw T.I. the swagger was fierce then and still is now, I became a fan. Enjoy and T.G.I.F. people!!

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

2009-07-18T21:44:00.002-05:00

Howdy,

So I'm fairly excited that I got a email seeking some advice. Although I love my regular blog posts I do relish the times I get to do my "Dear Judy". I almost always ask at least four or five people so as to gather as much information from all angles. That way i feel my advice will be objective enough. Okay on to the topic at hand:

Dear Mamachel,

I have been sleeping with a guy off and on for the past couple of years. You can say he is my filler for when times get rough. A little stress relief. My problem is that of late he has started hinting that he would like to take things to another level. This I am NOT comfortable with. How do I break it to him that he's not the type I take home to mama?

Thanks,
Quandary

My Response:

Dear Quandary,

You have gotten yourself into quite a situation here. Although I must say you must have seen it coming. Two people can seldom be physically involved for a prolonged period of time without some feelings developing. In this case a rarity has taken place and the person hit with feelings so happens to be the male. The fact that you have written for advice means that you also care for him and would rather spare his feelings. This is where it gets sticky cause from other parts of your letter I know you would like things to continue as they are. Let me break it to you "That's not gonna happen".

I do suggest you be straight forward but diplomatic. Let him know that you hadn't really envisioned this going any further and you thought he was cool with how things are. It seems cold but its a whole lot better than dodging him on the street or his phone calls. At least he'll know where you stand and can have the choice to move on. In other words you wouldn't like a man to string you along so in this case DON'T DWEET!

Alas all good things come to an end. And if he chooses to stick around may I suggest you do one of the following:

1] Check his basement to see if he has a shrine dedicated to you because most men's ego would have them moving along.

2] Patent di pokey cause di tings SORT OUT my gurl .

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

THROW BACK FRIDAY

2009-07-17T18:47:00.002-05:00

I was sooo in love with these boys... sigh. I struggled with whether to post this video. i didn't want it to be seen as jumping ont he Michael Jackson bandwaagon but I totally thought I was going to be a wife to one these cuteys.Check them and their uncle michael out if not for the beauty of the song but for the eyebrows on these boys. If you watch the interaction with them and their uncle it comes off as simply natural and makes me miss him soo much more.

Throw Back Friday - Camp Lo: This is it

2009-07-03T07:23:00.000-05:00

I Kid you not... I woke up with this song in my head at 6:00 a.m. this morning. Might be a sign but I enjoyed this type a rap. I hope you too.

Over and Out,

Mamachel

Transformer 2 Review

2009-06-29T00:11:00.000-05:00

Over and Out,

Mamachel :) Optimus prime a di dadz

Follow yuh Bloodc*@#t Mind

2009-06-20T09:00:00.000-05:00

Good Morning,

I'm probably going to lose some readers over this one. Well I might but today we are going to go over seven instances in life where you should follow that little voice in the back of your head. Decent folks would say "follow your intuition" but today I say "Follow yuh bloodclaat mind". Let's go, feel free to join in and leave your comments.

1] If you're walking down a road and a dark tinted car pulls alongside you.
Follow yuh bloodclaat mind and run.

2] If you suspect that your friend is sleeping with your man.
Follow yuh bloodclaat mind and investigate.

3] If you suspect that your credit card might be maxed out.
Follow yuh bloodclaat mind and check first OR just don't go to the cashier *avoid embarrassment*

4] If you suspect that your dunce ass does not know how to use an atm machine.
Follow yuh bloodclaat mind and ask someone outside for help but DON'T have a soup line of people waiting on you to do a balance inquiry.

5] If you suspect that even though your friends tell you the dress looks good it doesn't quite fit.
Follow yuh bloodclaat mind and don't wear it. Better to repeat a outfit than to look like two pigs fighting under your dress. (got that from steel magnolias)

6] If you think your breath stink
Follow yuh bloodclaat mind and grab a mint, brush a tooth. DO something

Last but by no means least...

7] If you suspect he/she doesn't love you
Follow yuh bloodclaat mind and deal wid it. Sooner rather than later

Over and Out,

Mamachel

THROW BACK FRIDAY

2009-06-19T07:25:00.000-05:00

I loved this song for awhile still do. It just speaks to so many things that have happened to me but at the same time showing how it helps to "Tek serious ting mek joke". Hope you enjoy....

Letting Go .. Damn you facebook!

2009-06-08T21:49:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone,

The level of procrastination I have applied to writing this post deserves a medal. I almost chickened out but then I realized that this is the catharsis that I need. It's kind of funny when I think of how easily I cower when faced with writing about the things that hurt. I now realize that those who write me for advice are braver than they will ever know. Let me get into the meat of the matter.

For weeks now .. okay months I have been facing a slow and painful reality. My once plural status is now painfully and starkly singular. The slow part I blame myself for after all I was told in no uncertain terms it was over but the heart hears what it wants to and so I have remained hopeful and If I'm being completely honest even now while writing this I still am. "Go figure". The painful part apart from the obvious severance of a important part of my life I blame wholely on facebook...

Facebook has made my life a living hell. What was once a way to keep in touch has now become a constant reminder. The new profile pictures and the tags in new women albums always and this is not an exaggeration ALWAYS makes my stomach drop. Pathetic I know I do not need anyone to tell me. Family and friends are constantly urging me to delete or block but as my previous statement said "I remain hopeful". Its easier said than done people, to delete is right up there with accidentally sending THAT letter to your boss. You can't take it back. It's irreversible. If letting go was so hard during the times of letters and carrier pigeons can you imagine how hard it is now? With facebook you can let go without really doing so.

So self torture it is. My heart will continue to jump when I see a status update or that I have a message in my inbox. I'll still wonder who is that bitch writing on your wall (but I wont ask) and I'll definitely want to know have I been replaced already?
But I also use facebook as a gauge cause the day when my heart beat remains steady and I can no longer feel it in my neck, the day the flashbacks stop and the questions stop swimming in my head all day and night then I know I have truly let go.

for now I haven't though...

Hope and Love,

Mamachel

But for now I'm still hopeful

*afterthought: I feel like a retard :p but also better

Terminator Salvation Movie Review Spoiler Alert...

2009-05-30T20:35:00.000-05:00

Whaddup,

As my readers might know I love movies and I've been having a good time so far with all these spectacular blockbusters that have been good so far. But sure enough there comes along a tack in my shoe. I am in no way pleased with what has happened to Terminator Salvation, Arnold must be turning over in his jacuzzi or whatever... See my review below in two parts.. yes I was that pissed...

Click here for Part 1 and Part 2 here.

Mamachel

Pretty Ricky Controversy!!

2009-05-27T21:27:00.000-05:00

Howdy,

You know the other day Spectacular came out with a video on the internet. And I'm not gonna like that shit caught me off guard. I kept getting disturbing flashbacks all through out my workday. And I've been thinking of how I'd put my feelings into words but Alas sometimes you have to let another writer put those thoughts together so take it away Ms. Jia:

Nah Let you in... Jamaican Humour

2009-05-16T23:58:00.000-05:00

A RASTAMAN WENT TO VISIT AN OLD FAMILY FRIEND.

RASTAMAN KNOCK PON DI DOOR AND SMADDY INSIDE SEH: " A WHO DAT"?

THE RASTAMAN SAID:

" I AND I,

JAH RASTAFARI,

KING OF KINGS,

LORD OF LORD:

CONQUERING LION OF THE TRIBE OF JUDAH,

SON OF HAILE SELASSIE I"

THE PERSON INSIDE REPLIED: "A ME ONE DEY YAH, AN MI NAH OPEN DE DOOR

FI SO MUCH AH OONU".

Blessed Love,

Mamachel

Till It's Gone

2009-05-15T19:30:00.000-05:00

Hey,

I'm a lover of quotes and if anyone is familiar with the Jamaican culture then you know that proverbs (folk sayings) are passed down from generation to generation. they can be amusing and they can speak alot of truth.
Tonight I want to focus on one universal saying "You don't know what you've got till its gone". This statement can be applied to any situation some of my long time readers will remember the Mamachel stranded days when i had no car. I surely missed the comforts of my cars in those days. On more somber note there have definitely been time (mothers day) when I really miss my mom. Not, that my step-mom is not great but I miss my mommy nonetheless. Shamefully I remember arguments that seem so trivial now when I didn't want her as my mom. What I'd give to re-do those days.
I wish I had her guidance especially when I'm in another situation of loss. What would her point-of view be on my relationship or lack there of. And the feeling that "Whoops, mamachel you might can't fix this one" what would she say? Would she tell me to fight for what I want or sum it up to experience. Yes, sometimes you never know what you've got till its gone but it's even worse when things are lost because of something that you've done. This leads me to another saying "Hindsight is 20/20". How many of you if you could turn back the hands of time wouldn't do what you did. (is that sentence even grammatically correct?).

But let's talk the truth. We move on and we break up and we tell ourselves that it's the best. But how many of you would have rather not have to have broken up or let something go to know the true value?

Mamachel Question of the week:

Can we really know the true value of something without losing it?

Blessed Love,

Mamachel

Life Happened to You

2009-05-12T10:44:00.000-05:00

Howdy Ya'll,

I have been in the process of moving... boy that can be so stressful but while cleaning up I found something that I wrote in 2001. I read it and got goose bumps, it was a much needed reminder of how long and how much I've had a love affair with writing. And where my talents really lay. I hope you enjoy.

I see niggers with the determination to destroy a nation
Then backtrack from their own creations and then blame the frustration and isolation they faced against good.
How come some know to be and other should?

Some get twenty to life. Now your misunderstood?
Let me give you comprehension... Ease the motherfucking tension you knew consequences and set your path from your first detention.
Why'd you reach the penitentiary and then implore me to empathize, sympathize to your lies?
Continue the game, we are not the same and yes, its a shame that your dreams did not come through.
But you fucked up then life happened to you.

Seeking medication with each woman you find, hoping the nana will ease your mind, pause the present and press rewind
To when times were better, the days before eviction letters, and welfare cheques, your baby modda audibly fret if you coming home tonight
Big mama praying you'd see the light

Back up before the night that deal didn't go through ...When you fuck up then life happened to you

Misconstrue the meaning of my words. No one wants to be a caged bird. But before you fly you must grow up. Its impossible to survive not giving a fuck. Or you'll be stuck reminiscing on the real you who fucked up but still made dreams come through

Say What Now?

2009-05-01T13:42:00.000-05:00

Hi All,

This is going to be a short one. Now I'm not one to look at the magazines or to click on dating advice columns. I'm a firm believer that if you've read at least five Cosmopolitan Magazines then you ain't gonna see nothing new. Alas, idleness would have me click on a yahoo article and while I'm sure the writer has good intentions in mind I cant help but say with all due respect #4 is absolute rubbish. Jamaicans have a saying, "Every hoe have have ddem stick a bush" meaning "There's someone for everyone". So how you dress will affect who likes the way you dress. CHANGING how you dress is exactly the opposite of what you should do. If you dress in purple and green tye dye all your life there is someone out there that will appreciate that. If you like to show all your legs or boobs or armpits. There is someone out there that likes that also.

So in this aspect I beg to disagree. Cause At the end of the day the article should have said "Dress for yourself, only then can you be truly comfortable and confident." This confidence will then resonate and draw your true match. Someone who can appreciate your sense of style".

See article here:
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/88099/dating-advice-5-traits-that-bag-a-boyfriend

True to myself,

Mamachel

Diary of the Unemployed ...1

2009-04-28T13:19:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

When I was younger and I thought "Where do I want to be when I grow up?" I definately didn't think of my present situation. Wow! Twenty seven and giving up my (free) apartment and moving in back with my parents. I still have my car but that's because Dad is footing the monthly payments. So, I've moved back into the "guest house" and it's lovely by all means. It's actually larger than my last apartment. But Alas, nothing in life is free and with this recent move I have given up someting no job or money cold salvage, my dignity.

Melodramatic? Maybe, but each day I avoid my parents because I KNOW that they are not the type of people to just let me move back in without rubbing it in someway, somehow. Today, it seems was Dad's breaking point. He had to point out that had I chosen the lifestyle and career path of my younger sister then i'd be alright. Don't get me wrong I love my sister and I'm beyond proud of her accomplishments but Jesus going through life constantly compared to someone and then not measuring up is rough. So yep, im a little bitter.

I wish I could find a comical angle to all of this... But there's nothing comical about not wanting to get out of bed. To literally fearing a conversation with people because you just don't know how much more you can take. How did I get so perpetually lost? How the fuck am I going to fix this? I have no answers this time, no clue, no plan b. So here I am no friends... really I mean I know people but NO ONE wants to hear this shit. And no boyfriend, yeah he left me but that's another post... another day...

Jah Bless,

Mamachel

Jamaica is NOT the most homophobic place on earth....

2009-04-21T08:27:00.000-05:00

I've stayed quiet on this... I have always believed in freedom of choice when it comes to how we live our lives. I try my best not to judge but every once in a while I give in.
Growing up in Jamaica I have heard almost every Bible verse and song lyric that deems that homosexuality is wrong. But Alas, I am an educated human with my own mind and opinion. I have friends who are homosexuals and in truth they are some of the sweetest persons on earth (no pun intended). BUt as the fight for social and legal equality for gays gets more fierce I am afraid to say that I am increasingly dissappointed in the way they have marked my country.
Jamaica is being marked once and again as the most homophobic place on earth. REALLY NOW? Little ole Jamaica? I beg to differ. There are major countries who have laws that state that homosexuality is punishable by DEATH. How is that these countries:Saudia Arabia, Sudan, United Arab Emirates, Yemen, Nigeria, Somalia have slipped past activists? How about countries that sentence you to life: Barbados, Guyana, Pakistan, Tanzania and Uganda? Do they no matter also? Are you going to stop supporting their export products? Something tells me , no.

It might seem that I have strayed from my usual objective writing. I have. I am angry. If indeed Jamaica was the most homophobic place on earth then this blog would be different. Do some have a hatred towards a lifestyle that they have been miseducated about? Yes, of course. But there have insurmountable steps forward.
To bully someone into accepting your lifestlye is not the way. In the end you can change being gay as much as I can change being black. People will eventually accept you. And while I advocate equality for all I ask only one thing,do a little research. Know your allies before you start boycotting a beer that went head on with DANCEHALL to ensure that there were no homophobic lyrics at any event they sponsored.

Take it easy cause at the end of the day it's Jamaica... No Problem

Mamachel

Bob Marley - Still Large on your Earthstrong... Happy Birthday

2009-02-06T09:58:00.000-06:00

Today we celebrate the birthday of a musical legend. Despite naysayers who prefer to focus on his private faults Bob continues to hold a special place in the hearts of music lovers worldwide.

To this day many have come close but none have been able to formulate words and melody to evoke the type or level of solidarity brought about by Bob's style and swagger.

I've heard this song many times done by The Eagles and recently found that Bob did a cover. I hope you enjoy

Hotel California

Happy B-Day BOB,

Mamachel

CAN LOVE EXIST WITHOUT TRUST?

2009-02-04T09:04:00.000-06:00

Everything we do requires trust and usually we give it but when it comes to the game of love and relationships everyone takes a turn at being a doubtful Thomas. What’s so difficult in placing trust in someone that you claim to love? Is it that this trust has to be earned? Then where did the love come from? Is love less than trust? I’m serious, is trust worth more than love? I ask this question because it seems that people have become more willing to give love than trust. However, I am confused as to how one might exist without the other in a relationship as both are a priceless commodity in the relationship market.

I would like to take a deeper look into the level of relationship in which both trust and love would need to be present.
Friendship: Can you love a friend but not trust them. I must say most people I know have categorized their friends based on what they can tell them. Am I right? You have acquaintance, friend, good friend and of course the BFF the latter being the one who knows all about you FOREVER. This leads me to ask, can you have a BFF that you do not trust?

Partner: Can you have a partner that you cannot trust, can you love them? This one is very tricky as many place a lack of trust on just having a jealous nature. But think for a second how much do you love a person if you constantly believe that they’re out to hurt you? I’ve always heard that love is blind NOT that it has eyes in the back of it’s head.

Broken Trust: Does this equal broken love? In most situations it means a broken heart. But can you still love someone even after they’ve broken your trust and if so which one is worth more trust or love?

Let me know what you think. Can one exist without the other? Can you love someone first and then love them later or vice versa? To constantly be suspicious or wary of a friend or partner must have some form of adverse effect on anyone.
To trust or not to trust let me know…

TAMI CHYNN NEW VIDEO - FROZEN

2008-12-03T11:05:00.000-06:00

Frozen- Tami Chynn - Youthlink Jamaica

Words Unspoken

2008-09-23T06:54:00.000-05:00

Salutations!

Its been such a busy month. My long time readers will be sad to know I've sold my car. So look out there might be another "mamachel stranded" post. But that's another post all together. Let's get to the meat of the matter.

How do you deal with constant accusations from a partner? I've yet to find a question that has no history or meaning? So when your mother asks you "did you brush your teeth?" That's a result of you NOT doing it in the past or you having some funky breath.

Alas my point! When a partner asks who is that?, where were you?, what time did you get in?, who were you with? You start to wonder if you have given them a reason to doubt your motives. But what happens when you answer honestly a friend, at church, around 12, my sistren. What happens when they don't believe you?

Are you a liar? Is that what they think you are? These are the words unspoken when it comes to accusations "what's really behind those questions". When you don't believe it was really church or with a friend then what do you believe?

What type of person are you with when you believe nothing they say?

Gimme your opinion

Truth and Happiness,

Mamachel
It's not what you think you are. It's what you think, you are.

Fitness mission

2008-09-15T21:56:00.001-05:00

Howdy,

Let me start off by saying that I in no way think I'm fat. I do however think I'm a little floppy and could use some toning.

Trust me things aren't exactly where they use to be.

That said. I've embarked on a fitness mission to get toned, fit and in shape. I have a red dress with my name on it :p

Today was Day 1 :

Running, power walking, crunches, planks = PAIN!!

Hopefully this will pay off. Will keep you posted.

Physical! Physical!

Mamachel 08
It's not what you think you are. It's what you think, you are.

USAIN BOLT RETURNS HOME AND SHOWS HOW WE CELEBRATE

2008-09-11T15:10:00.000-05:00

I send this message to the "To DI Worl" ....

Caribbean people have always loved to party, we've always found it hard not to move to the beat. Usain Bolt is a son of the Caribbean.

It came as no surprise that he danced when he won his gold medals. If you know your history then you know we are a people whose ancestors danced when they were happy, danced when there were sad. So dance mister bolt, dance... JAMAICA LUV YUH!
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Dance and Prance, Beijing to France,

Mamachel To di World

Hurricane Gustav Taught Me a Lesson

2008-08-31T08:46:00.000-05:00

Last week Wednesday my office packed up all computers, moved the generator inside and wrapped all that could be wrapped with tarpaulin. Yep, you guessed it Jamaica was under another Hurricane watch.

Gustav was well on its way to our tiny little island but only as a tropical storm. Maybe it was this rating that had me feeling a certain nonchalance about disaster preparedness. Sure I had water, and tin food but nothing like when Hurricane Ivan was coming. As the night rolled in and I watched the news I started feeling smug, where was the rain? My friends and I had several conversations via blackberry that this was a fool fool storm. Never did I know that before the storm was over I would learn a couple of lessons thanks to Gustav. Let's explore.

Lesson 1 :

No matter how clear the skies might appear ALWAYS prepare. Heed warnings and take expert advice or at least the advice of those who know more about the topic than you. If it had not been the kindness of maxine the expert cook I would have certainly died of hunger (due to lack of crackers) or sever cabin fever. This brings me to lesson 2

Lesson 2 :

NEVER underestimate the kindness of others. It never fails me when someone is kind to me without reservations. So, thanks maxine for the stew chicken, cornmeal dumpling, movie and over all movie :-) and last but by no means least Yolan fi di last water crackers she had (it saved a life)

Lesson 3:

Thank God for small mercies.

It is almost mandatory for the island to lose water when we have a tropical disaster of this magnitude. Needless to say I was not amused. However, I forgot to be thankful for the power and cable that I still had all through out the storm.

Lesson 4:

Be grateful cause so many have it worse.

Seeing all the roofless houses on the local news and the flooding that took place in Cuba really had me feeling like a spoilt shit. How could I complain about water when people where being washed away while sleeping in their homes? Lets not even mention New Orleans. One can only imagine what it must be like for these residents three years after Hurricane Katrina to have to pack up and move out once more in anticipation of another disaster.

These lessons I plan to apply to my everyday life:

No matter how much I feel I have experienced and that I know I will ALWAYS listen to the experts and take that free advice. I will always appreciate the kindness of others no matter how small it might seem. I in turn will hope to surprise someone with my kindness one day. Who knows? I might save a life , lol. Though it is a hard lesson to swallow some time I will try and thank god for small mercies and tying into that so many have it worse and we need to remember that.

So there you have it all the lessons that one storm has taught me. As much as I like the lessons I could do without the storms. But that wouldn't be life now would.

Jah Bless,

Mamachel

Honesty...The best policy?

2008-06-15T00:10:00.000-05:00

How much honesty can a person handle? I constantly hear people asking for the truth and usually "they can't handle the truth". I'm specifically talking honesty in relationships...not solely of the romantic kind. I'm talking even in your everyday interaction, is honesty really all its cracked up to be?

Friendships- how honest are you? I'm not talking telling your friend that honestly that outfit is ugly. I'm talking about the type that matters. How many brave ones could really tell their friends they smell or that she's one penis away from being a porn star. If you have, let me know how that worked out for you.

Romantic - do you really want to know how many people he/she has slept with? If he/she was honest could you handle it? Whose answered this question honestly? And when you say no that's not a lot it won't change how I think about you, is that being honest? If honesty is what we're working with guys, say " well that number's kinda high your almost a floozy but let's see what can work". I kid, I kid that's waay too honest to ever go down well.

Do you really want to know that all this time he/she knew you weren't the one? Or would you prefer to think that you grew apart?

Professional - when has being honest about the boss EVER helped? Never worked for me.

The fact is humans are fragile. Honesty is one bad mama jamma. In a society where circuitous answers and behaviour are the call of the day.. No one's direct any more. I won't lie honesty looks good on paper but gets pretty dangerous in the execution.

Honest truth,

Mamachel

Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel

HUSBAND MATERIAL? PT. 1

2008-04-21T15:44:00.000-05:00

SALUTATIONS,

I know I have been gone for a minute or hour and I won't make false promises of timely blogs but I'm back for now so here we go...

I've been having a serious writers block In regards to what to write about. Today I started my research asking all my male friends what it is that makes a girl "wife Material". This fascination was brought on by a conversation that I happened to overhear about a young lady who was certified wife material as every man she had saw her as a keeper. I was a bit confused by this as I couldn't understand if she was such a then how come it's every guy? No one supposed to let her go...see what I'm saying?

While I was asking a friend of mine asked me "What makes a guy Husband material?" and frankly I was stumped. I have never really sat down and thought about it. I found my self giving textbook answers I mean I know I would love if he wasn't butt ugly, made a honest dollar, was compassionate yadda yadda yadda. It made me start thinking what type of guy is husband material. The research was a little chaotic some claiming that buddy (sex) and money is all that is needed but I've heard that song before and it gets retracted usually at karaoke night singing to Celine Dion's "all by myself" after too many Gin and Tonics.

I finally got answers that made sense... Most women wanted a confidant,someone who listens (if they don't like that blue pants would it hurt not to wear it around her?), compassionate, a good lover, one lady voiced that she had her set values that a guy must fulfill in order to even be considered i.e. earning good money, family oriented, clean, loyal, and faithful.

I have my opinions on the last two but I'll wait on my readers to weigh in on that.

Personally for me I'm happy when I find someone I can be myself around as most I hold close and dear think I'm mad. So understanding is definitely a priority for me...LOL

My research is incomplete. Let me know what you think makes a guy husband material or guys let me know what I've left off.

Over and Out,

Mamachel

Target Practice

2008-02-12T13:30:00.000-06:00

Hey Peeps,

Sorry that I've taken so long to write but Mamachel's been under the weather. No worries,life has not failed to provide me with amusements for me to write about. A friend of mine contacted me not too long ago about a situation that she is in. It was a bit much for me to handle in my comtrex induced haze but I'm back almost back now and ready to tackle this one.

The problem my friend is having most females would love to have. She's dating four guys one time , normal enough I know but somehow Anna Nicole here has managed to catch feelings for all of them. Yea I know, Cry me a river baby... Oh well I'm sure some will disagree with the advice I'm about to give her but here goes...

Girl, I'm a firm believer that variety is the spice of life. (LOL) However, there will come a time when you have to make a decision. There is no guarantee that you will continue to like all of them in the same manner. I'm sure there are certain characteristics that you hold important and eventually one of them will become the front runner. In my quest to be objective I asked couple male friends what she should do or better yet, what would they like a girl to tell them if they were one of the four? Most, said they would love the girl to inform them of the situation one using the example of a man running faster knowing three lions are after him instead of one (there goes those lions again). Confucious say man run slower with one lion or three still get nyam...

Back to the matter of hand. I think you should just ride it out girl someone will eventually shine. Your heart will lead you to the right person and you'll have alot of fun along the way to discovery. So keep up that target practice pretty soon you'll hit that bullseye.

Nuff Luv,

Mamachel

Beep! Beep! Who's in the back of that Jeep??!!

2008-01-16T17:06:00.000-06:00

Bless Up! Welcome to the New Year,

Ive been out of the island had to go to Miami to visit a friend. During my travel I learned some very, very interesting things. Now, ladies some of you are going to hate the fact that I'm giving away some secrets but I was truly baffled by this conversation. I was having dinner with three friends who shall remain nameless two females and one male (lord help him) when the conversation inevitably turned to men's inability to cheat without getting caught. Now I personally believe that men only get caught when they want to whether its subconscious or conscious the want to. Nevertheless, I was curious as to the methods that my sistrens used to catch these cheaters and trust me when they were finished I think men have no chance.

Exhibit A - The Stow Away

Now what would possess a woman to hideout in the back of her boyfriends truck to see if he really is going to do what he said he would that day? I mean might as well just wait till he falls asleep and input a GPS chip in his arm and follow the dots baby! The end result of this was that the man did do everything he said he would do and the girl felt stupid and extra stupid when I laughed at her.

Exhibit B - CONDOMimiuim

I'm sure by now ALL men know about girlfriends counting the condoms left over before they leave the house. But my bredren got caught the other day because you can match MAGNUM with MAGNUM but how you gonna get the serial numbers to match? Watch out now!!

Exhibit C - Female Buddy Investigator

Men, do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? That Subaru three cars down looks suspiciously like your girlfriends? Well, chances are it is. Objects in mirror are more stalkish than they appear.

I was a little bewildered by all these actions. However, I was kindly informed that men are hip to the cellphone thing. Inbox are now evidence free and outboxes are empty, some have even gotten hip to it and learned how to code lock their phones. As a result women have been compelled to step -up their game and change the tactics. I have always believed that regardless of any tactic used a man will cheat if he wants to and all the time they usually hang themselves if you give them enough rope. So, nope, mamachel will never stow away not me not this bitch I aint bunnin' up inna no van back, or count a serial number on a condom but, I will fight and knowing that piece of information has always helped my boyfriends with their discretion.

Tell me what you think... is it worth it?

Nuff Luv,

Mamachel

My Thoughts On...

2008-01-03T12:21:00.001-06:00

Hey,

Ive been laying awake at night thinking about the most random things and you know what they say misery loves company. So here are my thoughts on the most random.

1. Tiger attacks - Hmmm...It's very sad that these parents had to lose a son at all much less during the holidays. There are investigating claims that the tiger was taunted. If these grown ass kids drank a bottle of vodka then climbed over a fence (no matter how low) and troubled a Siberian Tiger,then I got one thing to say to them. Persistent, Provocation, Provokes a Patient Tiger(scratch that I meant Person) depending Particularly on the Painful Punishment after.

2. Gastroenteritis/ Gastro for short - The nice version of this is the stomach flu. If I could bottle and sell this to models I'd be Rich. The instructions on the bottle would say take one pill one week prior to runway show. Drink lots of fluid.

3. Writer's Strike - I could be unselfish and dig deep to the part of me that understands that reality t.v. writers and animators need representation or whatever is holding up this strike. However, I watched Super Nanny and Wife Swap in one night so forgive me if I'm not feeling to considerate today.. GET ON WITH IT ALREADY PEOPLE ... GIVE DI PEOPLE DEM RAISE so I can see what happens to Sylar :-)

4. Super Nanny - Are you serious? You see these little bad ass kids running amok and telling their parents curse words and a little patients and love will make them better. One proper buss ass is all the super nanny I did need when I was a child.

5. Cash Plus - Bwaay it rough but I going to leave this one alone

6. Britney Spears - She doesn't want those kids at all

7. Perez Hilton - Addiction, addiction, addiction. I'm so addicted

8. Ambien - I wonder if I should take it? I can't be thinking this shit.

Nuff Luv,

Mamachel

That Time Again

2007-12-29T22:44:00.000-06:00

Hey All,

It's that time again. Hard to believe that it's almost the New Year. This year has gone by very quickly and yes, there has been heartache and yes there have been disappointments. However, the optimist in me cannot help but remember the triumphs and the new found knowledge that I am indeed stronger and smarter than I ever gave my self credit. If you are reading this then you have made it to the new year and you know what? You, are more resilient than you think.

Oh, it's going to be another year of craziness but unlike past years, I am looking forward to it. Why? I have now weeded out the hypocrites and have a small but resourceful circle of friends who stand at the very core of all my survival stories for this year.

Let's not get it wrong. I'm no Polly Anna. I know there will still be crazy people on the road, rumour starters, negative people, haters, taxes, that one bitch with no cellulite, and some guy that will try to break your heart and probably succeed. I know it will all be there when I go home January 1st, yes it's going to be "Same shit, Different Year." But my story in 2008 is going to be "Same shit, Different Me"

Nuff Luv in the New Year,

Mamachel

Save that Date

2007-12-17T20:28:00.000-06:00

Hey,

How does one date?!! No seriously, what the fuck is this? I'm not from a culture that dates, here in sunny ol' Kingston you kinda have a social circle and you can always find out about the other person so you usually know if you have a sure bet or not. But recently I have been trying this dating thing and trust me, it's a little more difficult than I thought. Here,you go out with a guy for awhile and then you get close and people associate you with each other and slowly but surely (usually after the sex) both parties will conclude if they are compatible or not...That said

It's a dangerous thing when you try to get to know a person. You become cognisant of many things that a whirl wind romance would have left you blind to. So,what does one do with all this information? I can tell you what a female does, she over analyses and goes off on the weirdest tangents ever. We can't help it, we just cant. Is he really going to that meeting or does he think we need space? I met some of his friends does this mean he's into me or what? To me dating is circuitous bullshit that never answers any questions. And frig all that self esteem crap, dating will reduce the most self-confident woman to a self-doubting, manic teenager.

I will admit though that the girl in me loves the special treatments that come with dating. The thrill of being chased and knowing that someone likes you can be addictive, but face it you can get that feeling at any happy hour on a Friday night. And answer this, "How awkward is it when you finally realize that you don't like a guy". Girls you know what I'm talking about... that one guy who you know you'll never sleep with but still takes his calls because he is always there for you.

I know I have no answers but today all I have are questions. I'm still on the fence about this dating thing and because of that I will have to tell some guys to save that date. I will keep you posted.

One Luv,

Mamachel

Forbidden Fruit

2007-11-08T10:26:00.000-06:00

Hey what's up,

I got an email recently asking for advice. It's an age old problem of always wanting the forbidden. She's involved with a married man. Now let's not bullshit around, this isn't exactly moral gray folks, most people would say that she is wrong. But apart from the obvious lets look at this a little deeper. It is popular belief that women who get involved with married men lack confidence, need a father figure or have commitment issues. Cut to the nitty gritty, most of them lack money, need money or have a loan commitment. Plain and simple.

In my friends case she is a beautiful girl, with a nice job, good family who has just sold herself short. Numerous mishaps with the opposite sex has left her jaded, that is the only excuse that she has. This married man buys her gifts and spend so much time with her she's starting to wonder if he really has a wife. But the sad fact is that,yes honey he still has a wife, will more than likely always have a wife and will never leave that wife as most of the money probably in her name.

The fact that she has asked for advice means that she knows that her actions are wrong, no one needs to tell her that. What she needs is the strength to leave this man, to send him away and to make him know that his actions are beyond disgusting. The lifestyle can be addictive and the best of women have fallen prey. Sweetheart you need to think deeply about it and remember that no good meal has ever come from a forbidden fruit.

Blessed Love,

Mamachel '07

Live Life

2007-10-19T23:44:00.000-05:00

Hey Guys,

Sorry again for taking so long in between posts. I recently lost one of my grandmothers and trust me it made me think "What would my legacy be?"

She was a woman of little wants and little needs. The humbliest soul that I can say I have encountered. She never danced on tables, or any of those things that I hear you must do to live life but instead she loved her family unconditionally and was the rock and backbone of many generations. She lived her life to the fullest. I aspire to be even 1/2 of what she was. She read her bible daily and applied the teachings to her life. Therefore, if you were her loved one you knew that she would never be unkind, impatient, boastful or any of those things that love is not. Grandma, your hugs and sunk will be missed and because your last days were so painful it comforts us to know that you are where you want to be, with your Father.

Blessed Love Grandma... Missing you like crazy

Jamaica Different

2007-09-16T18:49:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

I am sorry that I have taken soo long to write since the hurricane. Last time i spoke to you things in Jamaica were so different. Most importantly we had a different government. Yup, The Jamaica Labour Party is now that ruling party in power. This is a monumnetal win as the People's National Party has been in power for the last eightenn years. There are numerous things that can be blamed for the loss of the PNP but many Jamaicans are saying the it was Portia's inability to presetn herself that brought the PNP down. There is more to this than what meets the eye. Sure, Portia's behaviour needed some polishing. However, one woman does not a party make. There were many pubklic officials who were also lacking in their duties as public servants. All in all, the country weatches as The Honorasble Bruce Golding is sworn in. Some with hope that this will be different and better, others are indifferent almost certain that it's the same shit dofferent day.

I am one of the hopeful. Jamaica as a country and a people cannot live with anymore heartache and so I watch like the rest of the world, rooting, not as a Labourite or a comrade but first and foremost.. "As a Jamaican"

Blessed Love,

Mamachel

Hurricane Dean.. I told you Jamaica not so easy

2007-08-20T19:30:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

The fact that I'm writing means that I am okay, alive and kicking. I had written a post in the middle of the night but that's on another computer. But I just thought I should let you know I'm good. There are certain areas that have been hit really hard and the damages are devastating but for the most part Jamaican are okay.
There is a certain comradery that has take n over the island of Jamaica and everyone is showing a genuine interest in helping their neighbours. There are alot of fallen tress and some roofs have been damaged but the Kingston area is not the worst hit. I am trying to find pictures so that you can get a proper idea of how badly hit some areas have been.
I got back water momentarily but I guess that will come in intervals now I am praying for the electricity to come back.

Special thanks to the Hilton Hotel Jamaica for allowing me to charge my phone and use the internet.

More to come but in the mean time

Jah is my umbrella,
Blessed Love,

Mamachel

The Hurricane Dean Alert

2007-08-18T22:15:00.000-05:00

I know, I know I flaked I went to Caribana and didn’t write about it but, so much has been happening I’m finding it hard choosing where to start. Since I’ve been away Election campaigns have become extremely passionate, Beenie Man and D’Angel have separated and fighting in the streets and now this frigging hurricane. Okay, let’s start with the most pressing matter. It’s Saturday and my phone keeps ringing, friends, family, making sure that I have everything in order and also giving me the latest updates from the Weather channel (as if my television isn’t stuck on that channel). Hardware stores are all out of ply wood, kerosene oil is like water in the Sahara and the sounds of chainsaws removing any hazardous tree limb resonates through the air and all now the workmen are yet to come to fix my kitchen window (it cannot close). Yup, Hurricane Dean is on its way.

I have tossed and turned all night trying to think of what I might have forgotten as I have chosen to brave this Hurricane alone in the place I call home (some say I’m crazy). Having survived numerous Hurricanes i.e. Gilbert, Ivan etc. I consider myself a veteran. However, one cannot help but feel a certain apprehension when I realize that the simulation of the path of the hurricane shows Dean swallowing Jamaica all that red, yellow and green I cannot see my island Jamaica in the diagram.

Its safe to say all of Jamaica is watching this storm with serious trepidation and taking it quite seriously despite CNN and Weather Channel reports of the opposite. As I travel to Ocho Rios this morning with my partner in crime Esther (she had work) I cannot help but take in the lovely weather (calm before the storm) and all the wooden stalls that are filled with a variety of our tasty fruits like star apple and jack fruit. I wonder to myself will all these things be here the next time I make a “country run”? Will there still be a Faith’s Pen, Fern Gully, Flat Bridge (Esther says flat bridge naah lef’ Jamaica)? I smile as the answer creeps into my mind. Of course! This is Jamaica after all, a country that has been underestimated time and time again. A country that has always proved critics and doubters wrong.

So, as the clouds darken Es and I look at each other “it’s coming” we both think but we smile. Is okay Dean, we understand everyone wants to come to Jamaica after all this is paradise, and if you misbehave we can handle you, because we might be likkle, but we Talawah!

Blessed Love,
Jah is my Umbrella, Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh ☺
Mamachel

Caribana, Toronto and Me pt. 1

2007-08-02T10:21:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

Its been sometime since Mamachel got to see the UrbanChef and all so we decided enough is enough and packed me up so that I could discover and explore some Canada. The following is my attempt to chronicle my experience so far:

July 28th

4 a.m. and I'm Still staring at ceiling and watching some ghastly infomercial on t.v. too excited to sleep flight is at 7 a.m. so decided to just wing it and stay up the whole time until its time to bath. That time eventually rolls around and I start getting ready. Cousin comes and picks me up and we head to the airport. Upon arriving at the airport my mouth drops open the line is ridiculous there is no way I'm getting on this plane in time to go see my UrbanChef, clearly Air Jamaica has good business when it comes to Toronto flights.... Well the fact that my opening reveals that I'm in Canada clearly I made the flight. I will save you the account of the bad ass kid in front of me that wouldnt stop crying, or the three piece of ackee and tough dumpling called breakfast, or low and behold the hourlong wait for baggage claim.. I wont mention any of that. Instead I will tell you of how after all that seeing my guy pull up with some Roti in hand madeit all worth it. I'm going to have a wonderful vacation... Caribana here I Come!!!

More to come

Mamachel

To Wife or Not to Wife? That is the Question

2007-07-10T17:18:00.000-05:00

Hola,
I was recently privy to conversation between two of my male friends. One had started dating a girl for 3 months and decided to make her his girlfriend. However, he had another girl who he was dating for 6 months also and was wondering how he would break it to her. As it turned out he had nothing to worry about as the girl was willing to stay around and play second fiddle (popular trend here in Jamaica). I must be physic I just knew that would be the outcome. I could ask the girl why she decided to stick around but that's a whole other topic. What Mamachel wants to know is why did he keep and continue to keep this girl around even though he clearly does not view her as wife material. Yes, yes, I know the easy sex is a given but doesn't he have a girlfriend? If you can have sex with a girl and chill with her, why cant she be your girlfriend?
Furthermore, why keep her around for six months knowing that there is no hope of the relationship going any further? I mean Mamachel have a lot of questions. What made this new girl more suitable to be with in that capacity? I have a few female friends and acquaintances who are stuck in the "matey" / "other woman" role and they are lovely girls.

What I want to know is ... What makes a girl "good enough to be the MAIN girl"?

Blessed Love,

Mamachel

Relationship Blackout

2007-07-05T18:09:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

I know its been awhile but I got sucked into the Facebook vortex and have just recently been able to find my way out. What helped me was a series of island wide blackouts that were taking place. Sitting in my very hot apartment I found myself missing my a/c, telephones, and Internet access, oh did I mention my a/c? Anyways, to distract myself from the noises that were never there before I started thinking, how I've had a couple of blackouts in past relationships. No seriously, just think about it, during a blackout you feel lost, cant find your way, lose access to things you NEED to function, can't see the other person eye to eye, and no matter what you think you hear you have to try and be brave.

See I told you....

What do you do then when you are facing a relationship blackout? I mean when no matter how hard you try you just cannot see the light? Sleep? I think its during these times that you have to find the light that was there before or as we Jamaicans say go "Back to basics". When I have no light I reach for my "Home sweet home" lamp or some candles, plate and a box of matches.. back to basics the things that brought us light before electricity. This my dear friends is what you have to do when facing a black out in your relationship. You need to try and remember why you both fell in love or else the blackout will never end. But let me not end this without saying that sometimes a relationship needs a blackout, just to be able to appreciate the things you have. Let me tell you, no one can appreciate the hum of a fan as much as I do after a blackout. And trust when you and your honey do find the light you will appreciate them a little more...

Blessed Love,

Mamachel

Older Men , Younger Women

2007-06-20T01:05:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

It surprises me the things that can leave me stumped. But today I came to serious realization, "I'm not so young anymore". Now don't get it twisted in my eyes Im young fresh and green. If I must say so myself I'm still a hot tamale. However, sadly enough my male friends no longer want to hang out with me. What happened to let me realize this you may ask? Well today I was browsing through facebook and I saw that one of my friends had posted pictures of his Sunday Lyme on the boat. As I perused these photos of skimpy bikinis and jet skis it dawned on me that apart from the "men" I didn't recognize the females in the pictures. They were too young!!! I had to investigate.

I asked him how is it that the older you get the younger the girls you spar with? People, I get a answer so honest I could do nothing but appreciate it. He said "Mama the age group 24-29 looking for something serious." "Unnu want to get married and have meaningful relationships while at that age we just want the punany." "Unfortunately, its the 18-21 yr olds that will put out, and that leaves no space for you on the boat, when we have a friendship day I will invite you." Okay readers, close your mouth.. :-)

As harsh as It sounds I now understand. No matter how hot or how much of a MILF you are the younger women just have a ting that the men love. One friend tried to tell me that women aged faster than men and so there are less attractive older females in comparison to attractive older men. I beg to differ, a beer belly on a man isnt half as unattractive as a beer belly on woman. The standards for attractive men is much lower than the standards for their counterparts. A man starts to grey he's described as looking distunguished, women, fagetaboutit!! I'm just saying in all aspects of life there are double standards and all you are left with in the end is your own valued opinion of yourself. Love yuhself yaah 'cause there's no guarantee that someone else will.
I close with saying "Let them galavant on that boat with them young girls I know what Mamachel has, i know my flavour, I know my stlye and because of that I walk around with a Mona Lisa Smile"

Sexy Jamaican Bitch,

Mamachel

Finding Love Online??!!

2007-06-13T23:42:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

I'm not new to this Internet thing. I know how to communicate and Ive been in my fair share of chat rooms. Heck, there's one that I visit daily and I've developed a friendship with other bloggers such as bronx,neopanther,luna,gksden,watchlist and others that would just fill this whole post. We all speak about different aspects of our lives and we seek and dish out advice. I recently got help with my slide show from Luna, something I've been trying to do for months. I have read their blogs and seen their pictures and they have done the same with me.
I put all of this out because in all my time in this chat room I have never received an outwardly sexual or intimate gesture. So, imagine my surprise when I join myspace and start getting loads and loads of friend requests from men who love my smile, or thinks I'm charming and would like to get to know me better. Raastafari!!! How can you tell i'm charming from my picture? Just a word to the wise "all that glitter isn't gold". And so I ask the question. Do people actually hook up on Myspace, Facebook, Hi5? Do they write each other and meet and form long and lasting relationships? Please let a sister know. All I've gotten so far are a couple marriage proposals,booty call messages, and I now have a Peruvian porn star stalking my black ass. I'm not looking for love, Mamachel already has her Bubba. Nevertheless, I'm curious, do people really hook up on these sites?

Blessed Love,

Mamachel '07

Its not you Its Me...

2007-06-12T01:37:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

A friend of mine recently went on a two minute tirade on MSN Messenger about her boyfriend. Sigh, will this man and woman story ever end?!! The answer I fear my friends is no. Now let me get into the meat of the matter. My friend (said hostile from sentence one) is involved in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend of one year. Everything has been going rosy or as mamachel likes to put it "Everything Coppa-setic". Anyways, of late (past month) he has begun to act weird towards her i.e. not texting,calling, emailing, and very dry and distant on the phone. hmmm dissa one smell fishy bad man .. sumting inna sumting. If you are wondering, yes she has confronted him about his recent behaviour and all was blamed on family problems. However, this explanation just not sitting right wid my sistren for one he refuses to explain what these "family problems" are and as a result will not discuss his feelings with her. Inevitably,my sistren is left with the lurking feeling that SHE is actually the problem and would like to know Mamachel's take on the situation.

Well, first of all mek mi seh, never ignore that little voice in your head. A woman's intuition is a very powerful thing. However, on the flip side It is very possible that he is having family problems nevertheless, his reluctance at sharing these problems is making his movements very "suspect".I know you are going to see him soon, maybe you would like to wait until you are face-to-face to confront and see his reaction. Also, I cannot say it enough "MAN CYAN READ MIND" if your feeling insecure based on his actions then you need to let him know how it is affecting you. If you guys have a talk and this behaviour continues then you really need to take a serious look at the whole relationship.

To the boyfriend if you are reading this and you know you thinking about being a real ass and giving her bun (cheating) here is some guidance "Wrestling with the Truth"

Readers I do need your help with this, Mamachel could be wrong. Let my friend and I know what you think.

Blessed Love,

Mamachel

Returning to Jamaica

2007-06-05T20:00:00.000-05:00

The other day I received an email from an individual who wanted to know about returning to Jamaica. . I was pleased by this email as it stirred some hope in me that people are still thinking about Jamaica. Whilst there are many resources on the web I was asked personally what I thought of living here. Let me say Jamaica is a unique place and I love it. I might move to another country for awhile but my heart will always belong to this little island. This is a sentiment that most Jamaicans share. So to all those thinking of becoming returning residents have no fear, do not believe everything that you read.
What had particularly impressed me with this person was that she was a young professional something Jamaica needs more of :-)

The only thing my friend says to warn the returning ladies about is the serious lack of available men. I have included some links that I think can help you with making your decision.

Come to Jamaica and Feel Alright!!!

Blessed Love,

Mamachel

Links to Jamaica:

1. Returning From New York
2.Returning from the UK
3. Jamaica Information Service
4. Discover Jamaica

Akon Song Becomes Gay Anthem

2007-05-29T21:11:00.000-05:00

Now Hear this !!!

I was reading THE STAR on Monday and I encountered the previous headline. Curiousity got the better of me and I read the article. From the start I must say I understand how homosexuals could adopt the song especially in a society such as ours in which homosexuality is still oppressed. However, the notion that Akon wrote this song with homosexuals in mind is a little far fetched. The lyrics of the song helps one to visualize a love between two people that's not accepted by others. Yes, it could fit but I have a friend that sang that song to a CRV one day because at the time no one wanted to see them together (that's a whole other post in itself).

I have heterosexual friends that love that song. I know of players who use that song to assuage any number of their women when they start to get suspicious. The end result is that it's music and music is a universal language it speaks to everyone. So no matter what sexual preference, nationality,first language, skin color, hair type a good song can abolish all that and just get you to dance. If a homosexual likes the same song as you do does that make you homosexual? (silly rabbit). And even though it might not have intentionally been written for that particular group it touched something in them and they were able to relate. It might be people dont want to see you and your man, youand your car (sigh), you and your job whatever it is it dont matter.So dance if you want to dance and know its music baby, that's what you are supposed to do.

"Nobody want to see us together but it dont matter now,
cause I got you babe." Dont Matter : Akon

Blessed Love,

Mamachel

Mr. Marley "Satisfy My Soul"

2007-05-28T19:51:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone,

I woke up this morning with this song in my head. I've had a wonderful day so far , Mr. Marley can do that you know. :-)

Blessed Love,

Mamachel

Jamaica Hot! Hot! Hot!

2007-05-22T23:44:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

Let me start off by saying Global Warming is a bitch!!! I usually restrain myself with the cuss words but "What the bomboclaat is really going on??!!!!" Since when Jamaica get so hot. Duh, its an island sun, fun and all that jazz but of late I have been experiencing a different type of heat.."Heatstroke heat". The type of heat that will make you walk naked a road. The A/C at work not functioning properly so my co-worker has brought a fan hoping that by their powers combined we can get some 'semblance of a breeze. Dare to Dream.. (insert heavy sarcasm)

Don't even get me started on my apartment. The equator ain't got shit on this place. Yes, my A/C is working but unfortunately so is my electric meter and JPS (Jamaica Public Service) don't play when it comes to billing. So I turn the Lasko fan on full blast in hopes that someday, one day, in the near future I can feel some breeze. The only thing Lasko has managed to give me is a sinus attack. I don't know if is global warming causing this type of weather, if is so then unnu betta try cool it down cause Jamaica cyan manage it. No rasta, Summer just start and already I feeling this heat?!!?!!

Please if you have any suggestions on how to keep cool let a sistren know.

Blessed Love,

Mamachel

8 Ways to Know you are NOT his Girlfriend

2007-05-22T17:34:00.000-05:00

Hey All!!,

Every once in awhile I will get a phone call from a male friend of mine seeking ideas on how to nicely get rid of a girl that has fallen in love with them. Its like a broken record my conversations,I always ask the same questions and I almost always get the same answers. "Why is this girl stalking you?", "Why does she think she's your girlfriend?" , "Did you tell her it was a friends with benefits situation?" And the only answer I can get is a baffled "Mama just help me nuh please?!!" Just for the record there is hardly ever a nice way to let anyone down. We might believe you at first but we eventually figure it out and that's when it really hurts. Anyways, I have concocted a list to help out both my sistrens
and my bredrens in their quests for love. While it is not a complete list be advised that if you have experienced two or more of these situations.. Ants in your milk.. to clarify... Honey, he ain't your man!!

8 Ways to Tell You're NOT his Girlfriend

1. Doesn't interact with you in public - If your dates resembles a vampires and its only indoors and at night, no parties then honey you have problems.

2. Didn't Spend New Year's Eve with you - We all know the story who you kissing at midnight is who you kissing for the year (guys believe this also) and this is one occasion he cannot worm out of with the missus.

3.You can't get through to him after certain hours - When a guy is into you he will be accessible when he doesnt pick up he's probably with the real wifey.

4.On the rare occasion that you do meet people he introduces you as a "Friend".

5. On that note You have never met ANY of his friends - This is to ensure that he has a clean break once he's through with you.

6. Doesn't sleep over after sex- forget that excuse of not liking to cuddle,he can at least stay over.

7. Has never met his parent/s - This is a given no explanation needed if its serious you will meet the parents.

The Best for Last....

8. He's never told, asked, hinted, behaved exhibited and feeling to be more than just "friends". - Stop "thinking" you are his girlfriend and start knowing. If you are not certain then ask its that simple but save yourself the embarassment girl.

Mamachel,

Blessed Love

Heros: What kinda Hero would you be?

2007-05-14T21:01:00.000-05:00

Hey Guys,

I have an addiction. A serious addiction, I am not alone in this, millions around the world will tell you the same thing. They are addicted to HEROES. This is one seriously addictive show. Tonight is the second to last episode. Next week is the season finale and while I cant wait it is a little bittersweet. What will I watch? How can I survive without my Heroes? All this got me thinking if I was a Hero what powers would I want? Hmmmm... I have no clue. I know I wouldn't want to read minds ( I'm sure nice things aren't said about me all the time). I wouldn't want to be radio-active, nope not invisible (I can do that without powers). I'm thinking I would want to be indestructible like Claire.

Let Mamachel know what power you would want if you were a Hero?

Blessed Love,

Mamachel a.k.a Ja Hero

P.S. Stay tuned for my Jamaican Heroes Plot!!!

Bob Woolmer Conspiracy?!!

2007-05-14T13:47:00.000-05:00

What's Up!

Mamachel have somethings on her mind about this Bob Woolmer situation that just will not go away. As of today Scotland Yard has stated that Mr. Woolmer died of heart failure. This report is in direct conflict with the Jamaican Constabulary's report which states that he died from "manual strangulation". No disrespect but what the hell is going on?!!! Okay, lets take a step back Bob Woolmer was found in his hotel room less than 24 hours after the Pakistani team was beaten in a World Cup Cricket match. He was pronounced dead at Kingston Public Hospital. Due to the suspicious circumstances an autopsy was performed and it was found that the man died from strangulation. Be patient.. its getting juicy now. Upon receiving the body Scotland Yard performed their own inquiry and is now claiming that boss man Woolmer died from Heart Failure. This is very embarassing are you telling me that our coroners cannot tell the difference between strangulation and a heart attack?(insert heavy sarcasm)

THough it can never be disputed that Bob Woolmer was a excellent and brilliant coach. One must look at the circumstances surrounding this alleged heart attack.
1. Pakistani team loses a very important game in what is quintessentially the super bowl of cricket.
2. Bob Woolmer is found murdered in hotel room.
3. Media frenzy begins
4. Pakistani team is fingerprinted and questioned (procedure)
5. Talk of Woolmer exposing match fixing and betting start to emerge.
6. Jamaican Police fly to England to meet with Scotland Yard
7. Woolmer's body sent to Scotland Yard
8. Scotland Yard says Bob Woolmer died of heart attack.

Did anyone know that they set fire to his house down in Pakistan before he left? Where are the reports of what he was really involved in. I cannot help but feel that this is a cover-up in order to maintain Mr. Woolmer's good name. Normally, I wouldnt have been upset, however, when you try and make Jamaica look incompetent in the process, we have a problem.

Truth, Love and Prosperity,

Mamachel '07

Jamaican Driver!! Dont stop at all

2007-05-12T00:57:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

Each day I take a taxi to and from work.(sigh) Yes, this is extremely expensive and I wait with bated breath for the day when I can "push my own key". Nevertheless, not one to miss the silver lining these daily interactions have left me with one insight "I can strike a conversation with anybody". I know you think i'm joking but trust me, the different types of characters and I do mean different that I meet almost daily is a testament to my versatility. Let me introduce my characters (of course I changed the names!! *wink*wink*)

1. Columbus- This charming deportee is a certified ladies man. A girlfriend and wife pregnant he is constantly on the prowl for another victim. Clients included. Our conversations will usually go something like this
Columbus: Mamachel how can I get a girl like you?
Mamachel: Leave me alone! You'd have to reborn.

2.Bernie - Poor soul... He has a girlfriend that is soooo using him. I know I only have one part of the story but he's taking care of her two kids because his baby mother take care of his and paying the rent. He wakes up early like 5:30 a.m. to drop everyone to work and school and then he begins his day. Yet still all she ever talks about is how she well want a man that drive a Prado, BMW or even a CRV...... Poor ting. Whenever I drive with him I take on the role of therapist "homeboy need some self-esteem"

3. Ass - I cant stand this guy!! But for some reason most mornings he's the only taxi in my vicinity. Absolutely no manners. A conversation with this one #76 you know who you are goes like this

Mamachel: Good Morning
Ass: -----
Mamachel: Bwaay this traffic sure is a killer this morning wonder if I going to reach work on time?
Ass: ----
Mamachel: ----
Ass: That is $350.00
Mamachel: *In my head* Asshole..

Most mornings I get into work I've already had a full days experience. I can tolerate all of these personalities. As a matter of fact I have grown to love my daily interactions, I find most of them colourful and well mannered except for you know who. Stay Tuned for your next update on "The Taxi man Chronicles"

Mamachel,

Blessed Love

"Driver dont stop at all" - Buju Banton

Monkey Business

2007-05-05T19:15:00.000-05:00

Hey Guys,

Every once in awhile you have a bad week. If you did I hope this will allow you to laugh off all the bad vibrations you've experienced this week and get ready for a new one. Some Jamaican humor for you

Blessed Love,

Mamachel '07

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a spliff when a lizard walks past, looks up and says to the monkey, "Wha gwaan?"

The monkey says, "Yu wan some?"
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they burn the herb.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and that he's going to get a drink from the river. The lizard climbs down the tree, goes to the river and leans over to get his drink.. Well, the lizard is so high that he leans too far over, and falls into the river.

Check out this Joke:
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard, helping him to the side, then asks, "What's the matter with you?"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in a tree smoking a spliff with a monkey and got too stoned, which caused him to fall into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he's got to check this monkey out and walks off, where he finds the tree and the monkey is still sitting and puffing on his joint.
He looks up and says "Hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says, "A wah de Bloodclaat dis?......A how much water you drink?

Puncture this!!!

2007-04-26T13:28:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

Yesterday I was offered a ride home by a friend (who will remain anonymous..you know who you are). On these rare occasions in which I get to escape the taxi (dusty car, loud radio, ignorant driver) hell I jump at the opportunity. End of the work day comes and I am actually worry free about how I will reach home. Today big tings a gwaan cause Mamachel not stranded. Anyhoo, I get pick up a little late because my friend work a little ways from here. I get picked up and we begin our long journey home :-) We are having a grand time talking and catching up on old times and I start thinking to myself "Wow I really have a good friend here". You know people sometimes you just talk to quick. In the middle of that thought i hear "platta, platta, platta". I turn and say "What's that sound?" I starting to get worried because cold sweat start wash my bredren. He turns to me and say "I have a flat."

Whew!! I thought something was wrong with the engine. I start smiling again as he finds a place to park. Im thinking to myself its only a flat he has a spare and this will be changed and over with in no time. Join me here people "Bwaay was I wrong". The short of the stroy is him dont know how to change a tire!!!!! I am not lying, I'm not being wicked. My big, big 20 odd year old friend has no knowledge of changing a tire. So at first I thought it was a joke. Upon realizing that I have to change it myself. I get to work. "I" Mamachel jack up the car myself and pull the bolt dem an' pull of the tire, position the spare tire, tighten the bolt dem and do everything else to change this tire. Now people I'm a good friend I wasnt upset sometimes poeple know things and sometimes they dont.

What took the cake though was that all this time never once did he offer to take up the tire, jack up the car, or help me tighten the bolts. But what took the cake, was when he went across the street and got HIMSELF a drink and didnt offer me one or even a sip. It was at this very moment that I started thinking of how I could change the tire and make off with the car without him in it. Regardless of all this I changed the tire, and got dropped home. Now he is calling me to go here and there but I'm traumatized I cant help but think "What if him get another puncture?" No sah, anywhere we going again I'll meet him there.

Mamachel (your neighborhood mechanic)

Over and Out '07

The Dog Next Door

2007-04-20T18:00:00.001-05:00

Hey ,

Let me get straight to the point. I'm grumpy and cranky. Why, you might ask? Well, there is a particular mongrel that lives next door. Someow he knows exactly when to bark and exactly how long to keep on barking until i'm driven to madness. So today I am ranting and raving in all my glory. I would never call myself a animal person however we have a civil and mutual understanding. If you lick me, i'll say gross and if you bite me i'll bte you back. And it's always worked for me. But exactly how do you counteract contnuous barking. Now people this is not normal barking. This dog hits notes and decibels that even Mariah Carey dreams about.
My anger is not only at the mongrel its also aimed at the owners. How inconsiderate can one be to tie up a dog all night and have him bark like a wounded wolf for its entirety? If they dont know how to stop the barking I have some methods but I think I should only use them on the dog next door. Better they go to a website and see what they can do or find out, because constant barking means something is very wrong.
You know what the funny thing is? I have never seen this dog, I've only heard it.. It has this wonderful nack of knowing exactly when i'm about to fall into a deep sleep before it begins to really lay the howling on me.

Yes, I have tried shutting the windows and no its doesnt keep out the sound. If I knew which house it was I would ....... Lets just leave that alone. I havent' slept in 8 hours and im about to lose it. Lets just hope that tonight it stays quiet or I might jump off the ruff.

This is mamachel saying

"Im a fan, but sometimes there is not electricity"

In the End

2007-04-05T15:11:00.000-05:00

Hey All,

Today I lost a good friend and although he's not the first friend that I have lost he is the first for 2007. This was suppose to be my good year. The year when all evil and wicked things would stay clear of my heart. Easier said than done. I cannot remember the last time I lost a friend to a natural cause of late it has always been some random act of violence. And while I sit here and type I cannot help but feel the anger rise in me. How dare another human feel they have th right to take these speacial people away from me? Not just me, but from their families (sisters, mothers and friends). I will cry all day and night but these people will cry forever. They will always glimpse their son or brother in a stranger passing by, always empathize with another mother who has lost a son. They will be forever haunted.

How can you speak to a friend today and lose him that very night? What do you tell his family? There is nothing to say, there is nothing to do except cry. In the End nothing matters except that remember how he loved football, was the nicest person in the world, was your big brother, was a hard worker, was a great son, respected women to the hilt, would have been a great father to a lucky son, would have made a greeat husband to a lucky woman, would have been one of the friends that would still visit even when we were old.

In the End you think of what your loved one was and also what he could have been. But today when it all ends all I can think of is that I lost a Friend and a brother. In the end I am left with anger, and no understanding as to why any of my friends have been taken.

In the End i'm lef twith only memories.

John P, Jamie Lue, and all others Can't forget about you.....

Mamachel

Much to do About Nothing

2007-03-12T13:09:00.000-05:00

Dear Mamachel:

I have a urgent problem... Ive been involved with Marlon for 2 yrs., however for the past four months I have started growing apart from him. I have been trying to keep things normal between us but the fact is I've started speaking to someone else and even though we haven't done anything (physical) I already feel a deep connection to this new person. My only problem is that I'm afraid of how my new guy will look on me if I cheat. What should I do? Stay with my tried and true boyfriend or try for something new and promising?

Choices
Turks and Caicos

Dear Choices,

Boy oh Boy!! Things sure are hot for you right now. To me it sounds as if your mind is already made up? I really wish you had told me why you have been growing apart from your present beau. Also, is your new guy aware that you want a serious commitment out of him. From my experience men that "check" for women with men are usual looking for a a easy fling ting. As much as I'm sure this new guy is absolutely wonderful I think it would be fool hardy to dismiss "sure" for "unsure". New relationships are usually exciting and fun more so a elicit one?! One of the reasons is that both parties are blind to each others faults. My only advice to you is evaluate your situation very clearly and find out what this new guy is really after before you end up empty handed.

Moving through creation with a Irie meditation

Mamachel '07

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

2007-02-14T08:45:00.000-06:00

Hey Peeps,

Its Valentine's Day again wow time sure does fly. It feels like just yesterday that I was skipping stations searching for ANYTHING but a love song, flipping through channels wondering what in the world has happened to my regular programming and most of all dodging questions of "What did you get for Valentine's Day?" Well apparently it was a year ago and like I said Valentine's Day is around once more and to top things off the questions started from early this week. Do not get me wrong people I fully support Valentine's Day I just need to find a significant other who feels the same. For many it is that one day just like Christmas when they can show how much they appreciate another person. Simple enough right?

Wrong. For many (usually the men) Valentine's Day now involves spending gross amounts of money. As a result, Men have started to rebel all of a sudden they are concerned with how materialistic this day. One excuse that is VERY popular with the opposite sex is that "I show my love year round , my girl don't need one day to make her know i love her." Who fool him? OF course she does. Unknown to men that present doesn't just verify your love to her but also to her peers. Have you ever seen the face of a lady that receives a bouquet of flowers at work, she beams like crazy.

I hate to break it to you but Valentine's Day might have become materialistic but my question is this If you show your love throughout the year why would you chose this one day (valentine's) not to show it? It shouldn't be such a big deal.

To lighten things up let Mamachel know some of your funniest or most trifling Valentine's Day excuses and experiences.

Roses for All,

Mamachel 07

Mr. Marley "Happy Birthday"

2007-02-06T09:12:00.000-06:00

Lets give respect where respect is due. Bob Marley is the greatest. In all reality we cannot even say that he is no longer with us, for a deceased person Bob sure has been giving back not only to Jamaica but also to the world. His lyrics have always been timeless and the fact that several generations later young adults still rever him is a testament to his musical genius. Some have gone as far as to say that he was a prophet an argument that is hard to dispute once you listen to the words of "Redemption Song" or "War". Nevertheless, it is a sad fact that most prophets are seldom recognized in their own land. Today most of my friends were unaware that it's Bob Marley's birthday. If it wasnt for his music playing on the radio then most people would also be unaware.

As a Jamaican you take it for granted that you have first hand knowledge and access of one of times greatest musicians. I myself was unaware of how little I knew until I met some german tourists and heard them speak of Bob and saw the look in their eyes. To them he is a musical God, to us, he's just Bob. As I drove to work head bopping to "Smile your in Jamaica" I wondered where were the banners or the flyers? Dancer Bogle had a memorial dance and a song written and a dance made just for him. Where was all the hoop-law for Bob?

I googled and found out that Bob Marley's birthday would not be celebrated at home this year but in fact it will be celebrated in South Africa. At first I was upset. Why do we as Jamaican's let all good things go? Why would they take his birthday to Africa? Then I realized this is what Bob would want. He would want to help those people in Africa. So I say Kudos to his family for taking the initiative and spreading Bob's words and influences to the world with their Celebration dubbed " Africa Unite".

No matter where they take Mr. Marley he'll always be ours and we'll welcome him whenhe's ready to come in from the cold....

Happy Birthday Robert Nesta Marley all when we dont show it we love you!!!!

Over and Out,

Mamachel '07

Saving all your love for WHO?

2007-01-30T12:47:00.000-06:00

Hold On People!!!

I know I haven't written in awhile but I'm here now and though I usually don't write about gossip, the following definitely caught my eye.

Whitney Houston is apparently dating Ray J !! Now you might be wondering isn't Ray J that guy that had one wish? Well yes, but I'm finding it hard to believe that he rubbed that lamb and get the genie and wish to date Whitney. (Ray J times must be hard meng.) Now in all honesty when I heard I voiced my disbelief. I was like Whitney is at least 50 and Ray J is not even my age yet. One of my friends clearly informed me that many men have girlfriends 18 yrs their senior and no-one looks at that. That topic I will touch on later. However, I have heard that Whitney is no longer on cocaine (crack is wack guys) however, these recent events have me questioning how sure are we that she not lickin the pipe anymore ? People in all honesty someone who is experiencing new found sobriety don't behave like her. Let me leave Whitney alone and get to the topic at hand.

Why is everyone so shocked that Whitney and Ray J dating? Yes she's older but men do it all the time. Demi did it with Ashton and everyone applauded her. What's the difference?
In most societies its accepted that a older man can have a younger "lady friend" but if a older lady does the same its absolutely scandalous.

Please let me know what's up with that? What make this different Race, Gender, Generation?

Let Mamachel Know!!!

Over and Out,

Mamachel '07

Going the Distance

2007-01-17T10:51:00.000-06:00

Hey People,

Now for the past couple of days my inbox has been very quiet (do not be shy to write me). However, today I got a question from a good friend in India asking about long distance relationships. Now Indie is being faced with the possibility of entering a long-distance relationship, and Indie is not so sure. The question mamachel but answer is what kind of relationship can someone have without the physical interaction?

Well first off let me say its okay to have doubts, long-distance relationships are hard. It depends on a lot of things. How strongly you feel about this individual, how long you have been together and most important if your partner is as determined as yourself to make things work. I would suggest that you sit down with your partner first and have a serious conversation on where your relationship is going and what exactly are both of you working towards. If it was just to have someone around well the long-distance has made that decision. However, if it has the potential and you seriously feel within your heart that it can work then go for it. Because if you don't then you will always wonder.

Now to touch on that physical side.. Hm mm some physical is needed from time to time. This should be included in your serious discussion because trust me IT WILL BE AN ISSUE. But its the emotional ties that will get you through the horniness, loneliness and Sunday afternoons when you are very tired of watching Law and Order re-runs.

p.s. Research some vonage or phone card deals because long-distance relationships does cost some change.

Good Luck

In the meantime between time be irie

Mamachel '07

Blame it on the Rain...

2007-01-08T13:00:00.000-06:00

Salutations Folks (lol)

The other day a friend of mine called me in a big frenzy. Her boyfriend broke up with her. My heart went out to her and of course I stayed on the phone trying to console her. However, after a couple minutes of consoling I started getting the feeling that she wasn't all that upset about the breakup. So of course Mamachel push and push and hush and hush until finally I get the full scoop. This young lady started saying that there must be another girl her poor heart couldn't take it if he just broke up with her because of her. There must be another woman! Or maybe he's gay. (that's another post all together)

Now folks if you don't understand let Mamachel break it down for you. Stacy is simply saying that if the man broke up with her for another woman then it would be easier to accept. However, if he broke up with her because he was tired of her and no woman was involved then that would be worst.

I tried to tell her that since she has never had any proof of another woman then maybe, just maybe he's genuinely not in love with her. Readers, I almost lost an eye!!! In drastic situations like these I can do nothing but put it up to you to help me out.

You and your personality or another woman which one is easier to accept as the reason a relationship ends?

Over and Out,

Mamachel '07

New Year ... New Tings ??

2007-01-02T10:15:00.000-06:00

Hey Folks,

Everywhere I turn everyone is wishing me a Happy New Year!!! Unfortunately, many are not feeling a happy new year. Many are still haunted by last years disappointments and failures. Fear not!! With the start of a New Year there is the possibility of starting over. There is the promise of righting wrongs and fixing relationships. Fresh off the skirt tails of Christmas, New Years usually finds people still in a giving and forgiving mood. Now that the Year has started we have to go back to the real world and remember that everything is not candy cane covered.

No one wants to go back to work or to face those problems that were temporarily paused for the season. However, Mamachel says face this year head on and do not look on all the bad. Not only do we go back to the bad, but we get to go back to the Good and even better the possibility of good. A New Year means back to work but also the possibility to get a raise or promotion. Yes we might go back to failed relationships but at least we have the choice to move on. And for those with failed business ventures this year you have the chance to learn from last years mistakes and get it right this time.

This year will be filled with enough problems and trials and tribulations do we really need to bring forth the crosses from last year into 2007? I think not. And while Mamachel have somethings to write about that took place over the holidays I promise you that once I write about them I will let them go and think positive .. I will.. I promise..

And remember if you need advice or someone to obsess over your problems with before letting them go for the new year contact me at mamadvice@yahoo.com

Peace, Love and Prosperity,

Mamachel '07

WHEN THE TABLES ARE TURNED

2006-12-19T14:39:00.000-06:00

Greetings,

I can see that my last blog really hit a nerve with my readers and Justin and I really appreciate the advice that you guys gave. He's still deciding if he must tell her or not I think he's going to keep quiet and if it happens again then he'll definitely blow the whistle this time. I will keep you posted.
I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by the caring and concerned responses everyone really empathized with Justin. It led me to think what if the tables were turned would people be so understanding if it were the other way around. Suppose Justin's best friend (bredren) hit on his girlfriend should the girlfriend tell Justin or should she keep quiet? Its not as simple as it sounds. In the name of objectivity I will not even hint at what I think she should do. I know that she may feel uncomfortable and might not want to disturb the friendship. Let mamachel know, is it worse when a guy hits on his friends girl and also when this happens should she tell her man?

This one deep folks but mamachel need to know!!!!

While you reading hit up my fellow blogger http://urbanchefjamaica.blogspot.com and see what he has to say on other issues.

Peace, Love and Most of all Respect,

Mamachel "06"

Putting Up a Resistance !!!

2006-12-18T14:03:00.000-06:00

Hey Guys,

Its mamachel once again. I was prepared to write about my interesting weekend and how it opened up my eyes to certain facts of life when I got this email. Folks this one is a doozy, I mean I will try and give him some advice as I can only imagine the confusion he is feeling. Instead of copying the email I have decided to tell the story for him.

One Unfortunate Series of Events

*Justin and all of his girlfriends friends got along great. He liked them and, surprisingly they liked him. Alas, he found out friday that one of them liked him a little more than they should. According to Justin's letter she was very slick in her approach making him feel foolish for being guarded at first,nevertheless he resisted, told her off and eventually left the scene. His conscience is clear, however he's not sleeping because he's now faced with making the decision of whether to tell his girlfriend or not to tell her.

My response to Justin is tell her. If she really appreciated your relationship and knows that you are telling the truth then she will respect you for being honest. However, I feel that it is a Catch 22 as things will never be the same, people are bound to feel uncomfortable in the aftermath. You might want to keep quiet for peace sake, but should she find out in the future it will be almost impossible to explain it.

I need your input.. Do you think Justin should tell his girlfriend or should he keep quiet?

Let mama know....

*names have been changed to protect my compatriots identity.

Jamaican Letter to Santa (It's not easy being St. Nicholas)!! !!!!

2006-12-11T18:35:00.000-06:00

Think Santa job easy???!! lol

Dear Santa,

I know you probly wondering why I writing yuh one day after Christmas, but after opening mi presents dem yesterday, I just had was to write yuh. Santa mi was a very good girl all year round. Mi listen to mi mummy when she talk to mi and ah help out wid di chores dem round di house. Ah even help di neigbor pickney dem do fi dem chores to. One day mi all help out di old crosses Mr. George, the blind an cripple one, cross the road when di other children dem just ah watch him an ah tek gamble pon what kind of cyar did ah go lick him dung. Santa, dem just lef him deh fi dead, but mi help him out. Santa ah studied real hard in school this year, so hard till mi all come fuss inna di class. Ah make it mi duty to be nice and not naughty Santa. I was so good. Ah real good girl Santa.
Santa when ah write mi Christmas list to yuh dis year, ah ask yuh for a Barbie princess doll, ah Barbie kitchen, ah Dora the Explorer computer game, a cyabbage patch doll and ah monopoly game. So Santa, how the blood claat after reading mi list yuh leave under di Christmass tree ah fucking light up yo-yo, one plastic tea-cup set and ah fucking no name dolly dat look like she have polio and ah dead from AIDS?
Santa is either yuh blind or yuh cyah blood claat read!!!
Every year ah say ah would stop believing in yuh and like ah dyam fool mi always give yuh ah next chance, but not ah fucking-gain, yuh hear mi Santa? Not a bloodclaat.
Yuh hear what ah say Santa? Yuh fucking fat red rass yuh. Yuh see all nex year, yuh better dont try squeeze yuh big fat batty thru mi louvres dem, because Santa ah swear ah going fuck yuh up. It going to be me , you and dis sharp blood claat knife, so i can juk yuh inna yuh belly. Yuh hear mi sah? Mi ah go stab up yuh Bloodcaat. Imagine, yuh give that likkle cock eye gyal Sally from cross di road everything that she ax fah. So much so dat she all nuh have nuh room fi walk round she house. Santa, yuh see you and dem fucking reindeer, di whole ah unno better t'ink twice bout land pon my house top next year, especially that old drunkard Rudoplh wid him rass red nose. Santa, yuh ever wonder why Rudolph nose red? Is because him is a fucking rum head. Rudoplh is ah drunkard Santa. Him beat di liquor hard.
Dat is shy him nose always red Santa. Yuh see all him, mek him just blink him rass nose just one time, ah swear him woulda wish it was green. cause ah wooda out di light so fucking fast dat you and dem blasted reindeer wouldn't able fi find unnu way back to di north pole. Yuh see all nex year Santa, ah will be back to mi good old self. Dat's right Santa. Ah not going give mummy nuh trouble or cause nuh havoc roun'ere .
And Santa, a goin wait pon you patiently ....ah goin wait pon yuh paitently with ah big blood claat rock stone fi yuh backside. And den when you and them blasted reindeer dat favour some dyam oversize goat wid tree branch ah grow otta dem head top, com ho-ho hoing down pon dis old rusty zinc nex Chirstmas.....BOOP!!!!! Is one rass lick inna yuh blood claat head.
Santa ah going done yuh blood claat, Membe dat yuh hear Santa.

Try Memba dat
Love

Likkle Miss

ETHICS 101

2006-12-11T12:27:00.000-06:00

Hey Guys,

I need help with this one ... :-)

Q: Hey Mamachel, I'm in a predicament. The other day, last week tuesday to be exact my boyfriend came by to use my computer and left. When I started using the computer I realized that he had left his email account open. This is my problem, I want to read what's in there but i'm not sure if it is ethical. My friends say that I should read it, that its his fault he should have been ore careful. It's been open on my computer for days now chel and everytime I go to read it I stop. I think part of me is afraid of what I might see. What should I do?

Curious and Afraid, Turks

A: Hey Curious,
My first instinct as a woman (with that inborn inclination to Fass) was that you should read it. The best advice that I can give you is if you are in doubt then DO NOT do it. There is a reason that you have not opened it as yet its been 8 days if you were going to open it then you would have opened it already. What I'm about to say is going to sound cliche but put yourself in his shoes would you want him all over your inbox like that? I know you want to read it but the fact that you are afraid to opens up other issues in your relationship. The end decision is up to you mamachel can only suggest you close it. I know some of you woman are like Hell no !!! but you know i'm right :-) A bigger question is "from last week tuesday him nuh come look fi yuh again?"

Hope I'm Santa's pixie

2006-12-04T10:28:00.000-06:00

"Breadfruits roasting on an open fire, Jackfruit sticking to your nose, christmas songs being song by a choir and folks dressed up like pappi show"

Christmas is just around the corner folks and I am trying to feel the christmas spirit. Its my first christmas in an apartment by MYSELF *gasp* I most surely will be heading to my folks place for the x-mas dinner but its not the same. Nevertheless, I have embarked on a mission to put myself in the x-mas spirit. I bought pepperlights (note to self: need more than 1 pack), I ordered x-mas cake (will not even attempt to make that myself) and I have initiated a pixie in the office.

Now Pixie what is a pixie you might ask? Well I put everyones name in a bag and we choose, the price limits of the gifts are set and everyone has a jolly good time. Unfortunately, I have lost the pixie bag! Now tell me, how does a pixie bag throw away itself?!!! It surely wasnt me. But however it got there I can tell you that Santa is watching and he knows.

moving along....

Due to the financial embarrassment that I have been experiencing throughout the year I am debating on whether or not I will be giving gifts this year. That thought is soo far fetched for me. One of my co-workers said that my friends and family will understand that I just couldn't make the christmas train this year. True, a friend will understand...*sigh* Then why havent I told anyone yet? Why does my heart drop EVERYTIME I think about telling my folks? If I dont give any gifts can I still accept?

All these things float through my head and it hits me that I have yet to think about church and christmas mass (shamefully the one time of year I make it into church with no fear of lightening :-). I am more worried with gifts and spending. I sign off telling you to have a Merry Xmas and try not to lose sight of what this holiday is really about"the birth of someone greater than anything I could get my loved ones at Target".

If I do decide to not give any presents this year I just hope Santa is my pixie 'cause I know he'll understand and I'll get something nice.

What are your views on the true meaning of xmas? LET MAMACHEL KNOW!!!!

music

2006-12-02T21:44:00.000-06:00

A BIRTHDAY TO FORGET Misconceptions

2006-11-29T09:00:00.000-06:00

Hey People It was Mamachel's b-day last week. The 21st of November to be exact. I'm 25 and still I have no clue when does this wise thing happen?!!!! I entered the day with high hopes that it would be different from past ones. I know this is turning to my quote "Bwaay was I wrong". So wrong I hesistated writing about it. :-(

I thought that due to certain circumstances that were never around in the past this brithday would be maybe not Great but better. Listen people its is a dangerous thing that feeling called hope and expectation.

I went to dinner with the folks guys, then after certain events I went home to sleep. I got a bowl of chocolate cookies from my co-worker Keesha (thanks babe) If i could save those cookies I would. Because apart from that and the dinner and a card from esther that's all I got. Dont get it twisted I'm beyond grateful for the gifts I received I have had b-days when I have not received anything (lets not dwell on the past).

Now Kim I think it is certain that I my life is a extended series of Punk'd because at 2 in the morning I get a call from the one person I wanted to see the most saying sorry.. Now in all honesty dont you think I deserved more than a sorry? To date I am still waiting on an explanation or an attempt on redemption. I agree that unforseen things happen but an explanation can ease the hurt alot.

Would it then be wrong of me to deduce that I mean nothing to this person? That I must have a misconception as to where we are in this ? Let Mamachel know...? Its not my friends problem today it is mine :-(

So there you have it guys no roses, no kisses, no candy, nothing.. What's a girl to do?

Mamachel Vex bout this Deja Vu

2006-11-16T13:57:00.000-06:00

"I going to kill that heffa!!! She think after i work so long with this man she can come just get him so?" recent reamblings of a wifee done wrong (2006)

Ladies have you ever known that something wasnt right in your relationship but you cant put a finger on it?

Have you ever known that there is another girl , but you cant say anything because you are going to be called paranoid?

You know he likes you : he calls, he spends time, unnu go out inna public, you know him friends, so why are you having those funny familiar forgotten feelings? Why is intuition telling you that there is another female around causing problems in an otherwise good life?

Unfortunately there is really nothing that you can do.. is there?
To confront her would mean behaving unlady like and wifees dont do that! To say nothing means you're a coward. So what does one do about all these impromtu meetings, late night phone calls, secret instant messages and flirty emails? Nothing? I'm afraid that's the correct answer. We as females can do nothing, just suck it up and play dumb. I for one tolerate it until im over it, until it gets old and then I'm gone that is.

One friend told me that when them look in your eyes and say "I love you" just look back and say the same.. Cause whatever man do we can do better...

All I saying is Mamachel vex bout certain current events... So give me your point of view on the topics at hand.... What should a girl do when she gets that Funny, familiar, forgotten feeling of infidelity..

I wonder if our mothers went through this?

Peace, Love and Honesty...... (Sounds simplier than it is)

Mamachel

Mamachel See Boops deh :-)

2006-11-09T09:35:00.001-06:00

Hey Peeps!!!

Its Mamachel once again!!! Thanks for all the comments on "strangest vibrations" I hoped to hear more from the male point of view but such is life.
This week while online a friend and I were engaged in a Msn conversation (see below). His question brought back memories....

Scene: New Kingston

Date: July 2006

I stand outside a very famous establishment waiting with bated breathe for my "blind date" to alight from his car (german made well criss with the ris and stuff). As I stood there I envisioned a handsome guy dress to the nines. Bwaay was I wrong. People, when i say wrong I mean 50 degrees to the left wrong. The guy looked like Pumba from the Lion King (not cute) dressed to the nines alright in some FUBU Gear. Being the brave chica that I am I swallowed my fear and decided to see whats on the inside plus I was hungry (why waste a dress). Fast Forward to the end of the night and this story ends with me excusing myself to the bathroom and never returning. When I called my friend that set us up to ask her WHY??!!!!!. The response I got was "my girl him have crazzzyy money, just shut yuh eye." No, No, No, that ugliness penetrate any eyelid. Safe to say Pumba never heard from me again.

Back to the present questions at hand. Is money everything? Or should we give these guys a break I mean some would say that all they did was find a way to live with the ugliness. And the women are not completely without blame. Are these women users? I personally think that sometimes a person's personality outshines any physical faults and some of these women genuinely like these men, its the ones in the FUBU gear that scare me. (joking) I would love to hear your opinion.

Curious says:
so.. me an my friends were standin outside the gym talking an chilling right

Curious says:
and we deh deh a look on some of the women them and who them role up wid and what them drive and stuff

Curious says:
so we got to talking..

Curious says:
the three of us are good looking educated, ambitious young men, weh nuh have no bonafide wife..
Curious says:
so we were thinking... u know them ugly ass man dem weh nuh have NO sense, but have a dope car, and a KRISS girl

Curious says:
and u always hear people a say "how him get dat girl..."

Curious says:
or "what she doin wid him"

Curious says:
well.. u really cant fight dem man deh... u know WHY..

Curious says:
cause dem a di f#@!z weh a spen MONEY pon di woman dem... dem a wine and dine d woman dem

Curious says:
tek dem go gym, give dem car...

Curious says:
while the good looking "educated" ambitious man dem... nah spen a ras scent

Curious says:
so realloy and truly.... is di ugly ass rich man dem a play di game right !

Mamachel says:
NO WORRIES I WILL INVESTIGATE :-)

Mamachel take 2

2006-11-03T09:14:00.000-06:00

Hey,

Welcome to another great adventure of mamachel. This is not a distress signal. Unfortunately, I am in the same situation as last week "Stranded". When will this scene change you might ask? I myself am trying to figure that out as I type. I'm still trying to remain optimistic tonight (hmm) Anyways, once again I have stayed late to work and my taxi is "indisposed" so i'm stranded. Everyday, apart from being thankful to be alive I wonder couple of things 1." Am I being punk'd?" , 2." Where is the rainbow, lord knows its been raining long enough" and 3."How hard can it be to get a car?" Well I'm here (trust me I'm here). Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today because today was just plain shit. Kim you really think i'm being punk'd, I might be forced to concurr (lol)

Over and Out ... Until Next time

Mamachel :-(

First ever mamachel post (Stranded!!!!)

2006-11-03T09:12:00.000-06:00

Hey Guys,

Once again I have found myself stranded. This is not a distress call :-) Just sounding out to the level of frustration that I am going through this week. I'm beyond miserable and to top it off I stayed late for an impromtu meeting to now find myself stranded. So I have taken on the ever optimistic vibe that things cannot get anymore frustrating and God will get me a ride home. So do not be surprised that when you read this email and should you decide to reply I will be here to see it. Well its goodbye for now and know that I will keep you updated on the ever exciting 'ADVENTURES OF MAMACHEL' :-)

LATA,

Mamachel Have the Strangest Vibrations

2006-11-03T09:00:00.000-06:00

"Somethings gotta go wrong 'cause I'm felling way too damn good"

Hey People!!!
All my fans will be happy to know that I have moved from the stranded stage, thanks to my new and ever prompt taxi driver Chris. Iam therefore in some odd sort of way mobile. With my transportation dilemna clarified I was at a loss with what to write about this week. Fret not!!! My friend Stephen* decided to quiz me today on a conflict inducing topic of MAN and WOMAN RELATIONSHIP. Now we all know that he must be in serious desperation if him asking the I for advice. Stephen* wanted to know why is it that girls love Bad boys and Guys love the girls they can never get? SAY WHAT??!!! This was beyond me... This little advice session soon turned to a class with me as the pupil.

Past experience would lead me to believe that a girl could be able to put her legs completely behind her head and sing the yankle doodle dandy all while drinking a frozen daquiri from Tastees Patty and her man would still give her bun with a normal girl with the bounti killa lip.. I'm just saying who knows why we do the things we do?

If you have any input feel free to reply I would like to hear from both sexes in this matter...

* Names have been changed to protect the identity of of my compatriots....

Mamachel Over and Out

P.S. You may email this letter to your friends..