Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Diary of the Unemployed ...1

Hey All,

When I was younger and I thought "Where do I want to be when I grow up?" I definately didn't think of my present situation. Wow! Twenty seven and giving up my (free) apartment and moving in back with my parents. I still have my car but that's because Dad is footing the monthly payments. So, I've moved back into the "guest house" and it's lovely by all means. It's actually larger than my last apartment. But Alas, nothing in life is free and with this recent move I have given up someting no job or money cold salvage, my dignity.

Melodramatic? Maybe, but each day I avoid my parents because I KNOW that they are not the type of people to just let me move back in without rubbing it in someway, somehow. Today, it seems was Dad's breaking point. He had to point out that had I chosen the lifestyle and career path of my younger sister then i'd be alright. Don't get me wrong I love my sister and I'm beyond proud of her accomplishments but Jesus going through life constantly compared to someone and then not measuring up is rough. So yep, im a little bitter.

I wish I could find a comical angle to all of this... But there's nothing comical about not wanting to get out of bed. To literally fearing a conversation with people because you just don't know how much more you can take. How did I get so perpetually lost? How the fuck am I going to fix this? I have no answers this time, no clue, no plan b. So here I am no friends... really I mean I know people but NO ONE wants to hear this shit. And no boyfriend, yeah he left me but that's another post... another day...

Jah Bless,


1 comment:

QuickBrownFox said...

Sounds like we're going drinking later!