Best Friends till the End like Chucky? <- Mars View

Okay I'll admit it, I'm a Greys Anatomy fan. That being said I was eagre to see the Patrick Dempsey chick flick Made Of Honour  in which he plays a once carefree playboy who is asked by his best friend (played by the beautiful Michelle Monaghan) to be the 'maid of honour' at her wedding. The only 'other' obvious problem with this scenario, is he now realizes that he has fallen head-over-heels for his gal pal. It got me thinking about all those stories of  best buddies turned lifelong partners I've heard about about. In many cases the feeling is mutual, but others, lifelong friendships have been shattered when one party realizes they just don't feel the same way about the other. This now begs the question, Should you tell your best friend you want to move from a platonic relationship to a romantic one?

Mars has mixed feeling where this is concerned, so we'll try to break it down into the most important things to consider before making your decision.

1). Familiarity doesn't over-ride caution. Even though you've been with her for what you consider most of your life, when it comes to emotions, you might not know her as well as you think you do. Knowing her favorite color or flavor ice-cream is a far cry from how she will react to situations of the heart. In these situations it's not a bad idea to read, re-read and read again before making your decision.

It's already a lot harder to negotiate matters of tangible interest with the ones you love, so imagine how difficult it will be when it comes to your emotions.

2).  It's also possible she feels the same way, but just doesn't know it yet. Sometimes you've become so familiar with a situation it's hard to see it as anything else. Rum and Coke may have never known they would make such a spectacular drink until one of them was bold enough to mix with the other. Sometimes it's up to you as the individual to shake things up and see what could possibly surface.

3). Then there's the all or nothing rule. Is it better to live the rest of your life not knowing what may have been, or risk it all for the off chance that she may feel the same way? As a poker player my first instinct would be to yell "Srew it, I'M ALL IN"... but many a player have done the same thing and left the table empty handed. While it is true that the man who saves his chips and folds on every play could possibly make it to the end of the game, he still risks going home empty handed.

Advice: The most important thing to remember before making this decision is to reassure your gal pal that if she doesn't feel the same, you still value the friendship and want things to be as they were. In some cases a woman's greatest fear is that she does give it a try, and if things don't work, you risk destroying something sacred.This is by all means possible, but it's up to the two of you to remember the strong foundation for which the relationship was built in the first place, and that's friendship. So if you feel the need to err on the side of caution, there's nothing wrong with playing it safe, but just remember, the greater the risk, the sweeter the rewards!

Sex with the Ex? - A view from Venus

Let me jump right in... !

Hopefully, by now everyone has read my fellow blogger Cuffe's post about Sex with the Ex. If not then click here to see. Now I would like to tell him thanks as I always want to ensure I'm representing my male readers. HOWEVER, its now my turn to go all in. So, LET'S GO!

First and foremost I will display no objectivity on this topic. Plain and straight ladies DONT DWEET! Be honest with yourselves you cannot have sex with an ex and not "catch feelings", it's gonna happen.  "Listen mi!" (Bounti Killa voice) you might as well start the countdown from the moment your panty reach your ankles. Sure we are all adults here and most times females do go into these situations with good intentions of staying neutral and not falling back in like or in love with the person but fact is fact you will get caught up. Now let's look into why women might have sex with the ex. Cause according to Cuffe post men do it because its Free, Easy and Known waters (hmm recycling my yute?). Ladies on the other hand do it because....

1] She doesn't want to run up her numbers :- hate to break the ego guys but alot of times a girl just don't wanna run up the count. As a result, she just keeps sleeping with you until she can find someone else. And yes sometimes you might do something that makes her think you might be reconsidering (DANGEROUS WATERS)

2] She isnt sure about the guy she just started dating :- Mi tyad fi tell you men but women love sex just as much as you do. If a girl just met you chances are she's going to be on her best behaviour... with you. That dont mean she isnt horny and so she might just continue to link up the ex on the sly till she's certain that's where she wants to go with you.

3] She hopes the pokey gonna kidnap you back into loving her : - lawd gee. Some women are convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that they can MAKE a man love them. While sex is a good way to ensure a booty call, it sure as hell dont guarantee no love.

4] It feels good :- yea you know how to hit that ONE spot right over there ....

Advice: Leave the ex alone it's gonna be hard at the beginning as most people are drawn to the familiar. But why expose yourself to all that heartache, pain and self doubt. Love yourself first and someone deserving will come along. Sex with the ex is  like driving on a Donut wheel its alright for aa momentary problem but eventually its gonna cause a problem. Why? Because a Donut wheel is NOT the real thing.

Faith and Love,

Mamachell

Sex with the Ex ? - A View from Mars

 Salutations,

Im trying something different with this topic. In my never ending quest to be as objective as possible I have recruited @MCuffe (hit him up on twitter) to bring the male point of view to the table. Hopefully, my male readers will now feel that they are represented here and i'll get to wild out a little more :P

Let's Go !!!!!


Now everyone's heard of the five second rule right? Well just in case you're not familiar with it, I'll bring you up to speed. The five second rule applies to food consumption, and has to do with the amount of time that food is allowed to be on the floor before one can safely put it in their mouth again. Is there any scientific explanation behind the five second rule, or are there certain conditions that apply to the five second rule or are their any exceptions? Well across cultures we see variations of this rule from the three second rule to the seven second rule, and even as much as 5 minutes. In Russia they even have a saying which goes (translated) "Promptly picked up is not considered fallen"!

So if this rule can be applied to something as important as food, why can't a similar structure be in place for Ex's?  Someone who obviously impacted your life in a large enough way for them to be considered your 'significant other' has suddenly fallen from grace and is no longer worthy of that title, does that mean they loose all privileges including sexual ones? Well assuming that one becomes an Ex the minute you decide to blow the whistle on the relationship, is there really a five second rule that applies to when you're allowed to dust them off and put them back in the sack, also assuming they will continue to remain an Ex once the lustful indulgence is over?

 As a matter of fact, I call no limits on this one. I figure sex between two people is completely up to them, and should hold no moral restrictions, given that you're willing to suffer the emotional roller coaster than may ensue.

The view from Mars is, in most cases, sex for a man is usually less emotional than it is for a woman. When viewing an Ex, all the ground work has pretty much been done. It's like buying a candy bar, you know what it tastes like, so you know if you want to try it again. The problem with meeting someone new is you have to satisfy a number of criteria which usually doesn't happen till after the encounter is done. Therefore, sex with an Ex can actually be more beneficial. My only exception, sex with an Ex will be considered a no-no once one is committed to someone else, but for the time leading up to that moment, I really don't see a problem recycling what may be considered used goods

The main concerns I have with this little agreement is as mentioned before, the emotional damage that could result. If sex is more of an emotional thing for a woman, than even if she tells you "it's just sex" chances are you will fall into the trap of "playing with her emotions". It's hard for a woman to separate something physical from something emotional, especially something they view as sacred as sex. Very far and few are the women in this world who view sex as a man does, therefore you need to be wary of all women, unless you are absolutely sure your Ex-gal doesn't roll over and ask you that universal exit question "So what does this mean?"

The five second rule is a lovely way of justifying an act that most people view as unhealthy, just as Ex's being off limits is a way of justifying an act that most people view as immoral. As far as Mars see's it, there are 3 things you definitely don't want to reuse, toilet paper, tampons and condoms (thats just gross). As far as Ex's are concerned, as long as it's good, that's one piece of food, I won't mind munching on again!