Saturday, August 15, 2009

Di Maddah Di Sweetah??!!!

Public arguments, collection of evidence, police sirens, carefully co ordinated tails. No people this is not an episode of Law & Order. It is the recollections of some of my male friends of some "crazy" females they've been involved with. I cannot tell you how many times I have bared witness (open mouthed of course) to some female getting out and bad on another guy. And almost always I have thought to myself "wow that relationship is over". Well, silly me. I just recently found out that a large percentage of men loves a crazy woman.

I have had bredrens bring a change of clothes when we are going out because the girl they're seeing is following them. Oh Ive received many a emails warning me to stay away from more than one childhood friend. And yes people, I have been physically accosted due to some misunderstanding. Oh trust me there was a misunderstanding. But when I ask my friends "Why don't you leave her?". Some look scared others reply, "Jah know, she though!". As a result I have come to the conclusion that as long as you're hot most men will put up with anything.

As usual in my efforts to remain objective I asked around five of my sane male friends the following: 1] Why Do you love crazy women? 2] Is it a Ego thing? and 3] Is the sex really that much better?. Most of them didn't really have a reason as to why they loved the crazy ones but they all agreed that it did get old after awhile. One making the analogy of the crazy girl being a speeding bike going downhill after awhile you're going to get tired and you will eventually get hurt. But almost all unanimously agreed that yes the sex is actually better as the "crazy" ones are actually less inhibited and keeping them around is indeed a ego thing. As one bredren so eloquently put it, "Yuh just waan feel seh is your cocky mek she gwaan suh mad. She doa waan share it, she want i all fi harself because it dat good". Jesus take the wheel.

On that note. I'm glad I know all this now. No longer will I waste my efforts by making roast fish for my man, giving him kisses,or doing something as silly as being kind nor compassionate. Instead, the next man I speak to can expect some shit that will make Jazmine Sullivan and Carrie Underwood look like my little ponies. Yep, brace yourself! I'm coming with the good stuff my next boyfriend can expect public arguments, broken windshields, incessant texting, whippings, broken plates, impromptu crying and to top it off I'm going to memorize the serial numbers on your condoms.

Cause clearly the maddah di sweetah.

Mamachel ,

Faith and Craziness (Love)


Anonymous said...

girl a some crazy shit a gwon out deh, noh bout mi ex n him psycho bitch wah him have, all wen him run har she deh pon de rd outta him yaad a bawl gwon wid pure things run after him car n gwon n yet still a she him sympathize wid so mi just low him a crazy bitch as true mi naw go bawl n mek a fool of myself fi him y mi n him break up, but girl a crazy shit a gwon a rd still wid these crazy bitches;)

queen K said...

Mi naah degrade myself fi no likkle bwoy and dem ego. Da condom serial numba ting de a some CSI territory, lol. Da one de mi might a try.

johannes said...

well, i can tell you a couple of the main reasons why dating a crazy girl is always on jamaican men top list. being that i have experience the "crazy girl" dating trauma, in some weird and exciting way, i just could not get enough of her. and don't get me wrong, its not entirely about the sex, but more of the person who she was. Being with a crzy girl is always exciting, more like being prepared to see what weird and crazy stuff she has up her sleeves. but none the less i guess being with a "crazy" girl keep guys aware of their actions and to try maintain a more violent free relationship.
A crazy girl brings, a more weird but exciting cling in a relationship i guess, most men think its sexy, just like how if a man claiming he is a hardcore dude is considered sexy to some women. But my dream "crazy ass Girl" would be a girl that is not 100% crazy but more like 50/50 crazy and freaky and rocks a gap tooth with a big ass, now thats the kinda girl that should get the green light treatment. And not to mention a great combination like bun and cheese.
She brings the noise along with the sexual fantasies, now who wouldnt want that in there dull boring life.

Damali said...

MY GIRL, ME KNOW DEM STORY DEH!!! But me nah lower my standards, self-esteem, nor divine capacity fi keep no man; 'specially Jamaican!!! Dem ungrateful suckers!!!

Gwan do yuh ting Mamachel

Kerriann said...

lol remember puss and daag nuh have the same luck. So continue to be yourself and don't Can I share a site with you and your readers. It is a Jamaican Patois speaking site.

Kimberly said...

LOL......that condom serial number one...ppl think a joke...but we know di ladies...if it gets to that point maybe you shud check yourself in....