Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Beep! Beep! Who's in the back of that Jeep??!!

Bless Up! Welcome to the New Year,

Ive been out of the island had to go to Miami to visit a friend. During my travel I learned some very, very interesting things. Now, ladies some of you are going to hate the fact that I'm giving away some secrets but I was truly baffled by this conversation. I was having dinner with three friends who shall remain nameless two females and one male (lord help him) when the conversation inevitably turned to men's inability to cheat without getting caught. Now I personally believe that men only get caught when they want to whether its subconscious or conscious the want to. Nevertheless, I was curious as to the methods that my sistrens used to catch these cheaters and trust me when they were finished I think men have no chance.

Exhibit A - The Stow Away

Now what would possess a woman to hideout in the back of her boyfriends truck to see if he really is going to do what he said he would that day? I mean might as well just wait till he falls asleep and input a GPS chip in his arm and follow the dots baby! The end result of this was that the man did do everything he said he would do and the girl felt stupid and extra stupid when I laughed at her.

Exhibit B - CONDOMimiuim

I'm sure by now ALL men know about girlfriends counting the condoms left over before they leave the house. But my bredren got caught the other day because you can match MAGNUM with MAGNUM but how you gonna get the serial numbers to match? Watch out now!!

Exhibit C - Female Buddy Investigator

Men, do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? That Subaru three cars down looks suspiciously like your girlfriends? Well, chances are it is. Objects in mirror are more stalkish than they appear.

I was a little bewildered by all these actions. However, I was kindly informed that men are hip to the cellphone thing. Inbox are now evidence free and outboxes are empty, some have even gotten hip to it and learned how to code lock their phones. As a result women have been compelled to step -up their game and change the tactics. I have always believed that regardless of any tactic used a man will cheat if he wants to and all the time they usually hang themselves if you give them enough rope. So, nope, mamachel will never stow away not me not this bitch I aint bunnin' up inna no van back, or count a serial number on a condom but, I will fight and knowing that piece of information has always helped my boyfriends with their discretion.

Tell me what you think... is it worth it?

Nuff Luv,



fred2dread said...

U got me with the serial number thing there.

She has some serious insecurities to be doing that.

Anonymous said...

lol, dat serial number shit crack me up. Ine got time for all dat shit. Being in the back of his car and like mamachel say burning up myslef. hell naw. a man is gonna cheat whether u like it or not. So either u be an asshole to stick around and deal with it. Or u kick him in his ass and tell him to leave. U decide. But i know it wont be me going thru all da stress to find out if him a cheat. BTW, ill probably be glad he cheated give me a reason to NIce blog mamachel

Anonymous said...

Best thing to do is to hide a tape recorder somewhere that he might be having a private conversation, say in the car or his room.

Trunk camping is just wack.

DiGrifter said...

Frigging hilarious! Serial Numbers? Serial Numbers!


Anonymous said...

u noh that got me thinking as well what is it that makes a husband material.. well for me I have to be able to comfortable and be myself around him. He has to be a true friend good on his communication, loyal, family oriented, has a good job and can preform sexually or satisfy my every needs in that area and to be good looking naw go kid myself with that. over all a man that is his own individual who love and will respect me as how I love and respect myself.