Beep! Beep! Who's in the back of that Jeep??!!

Bless Up! Welcome to the New Year,

Ive been out of the island had to go to Miami to visit a friend. During my travel I learned some very, very interesting things. Now, ladies some of you are going to hate the fact that I'm giving away some secrets but I was truly baffled by this conversation. I was having dinner with three friends who shall remain nameless two females and one male (lord help him) when the conversation inevitably turned to men's inability to cheat without getting caught. Now I personally believe that men only get caught when they want to whether its subconscious or conscious the want to. Nevertheless, I was curious as to the methods that my sistrens used to catch these cheaters and trust me when they were finished I think men have no chance.

Exhibit A - The Stow Away

Now what would possess a woman to hideout in the back of her boyfriends truck to see if he really is going to do what he said he would that day? I mean might as well just wait till he falls asleep and input a GPS chip in his arm and follow the dots baby! The end result of this was that the man did do everything he said he would do and the girl felt stupid and extra stupid when I laughed at her.

Exhibit B - CONDOMimiuim

I'm sure by now ALL men know about girlfriends counting the condoms left over before they leave the house. But my bredren got caught the other day because you can match MAGNUM with MAGNUM but how you gonna get the serial numbers to match? Watch out now!!

Exhibit C - Female Buddy Investigator

Men, do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? That Subaru three cars down looks suspiciously like your girlfriends? Well, chances are it is. Objects in mirror are more stalkish than they appear.

I was a little bewildered by all these actions. However, I was kindly informed that men are hip to the cellphone thing. Inbox are now evidence free and outboxes are empty, some have even gotten hip to it and learned how to code lock their phones. As a result women have been compelled to step -up their game and change the tactics. I have always believed that regardless of any tactic used a man will cheat if he wants to and all the time they usually hang themselves if you give them enough rope. So, nope, mamachel will never stow away not me not this bitch I aint bunnin' up inna no van back, or count a serial number on a condom but, I will fight and knowing that piece of information has always helped my boyfriends with their discretion.

Tell me what you think... is it worth it?

Nuff Luv,

Mamachel

My Thoughts On...

Hey,

Ive been laying awake at night thinking about the most random things and you know what they say misery loves company. So here are my thoughts on the most random.

1. Tiger attacks - Hmmm...It's very sad that these parents had to lose a son at all much less during the holidays. There are investigating claims that the tiger was taunted. If these grown ass kids drank a bottle of vodka then climbed over a fence (no matter how low) and troubled a Siberian Tiger,then I got one thing to say to them. Persistent, Provocation, Provokes a Patient Tiger(scratch that I meant Person) depending Particularly on the Painful Punishment after.

2. Gastroenteritis/ Gastro for short - The nice version of this is the stomach flu. If I could bottle and sell this to models I'd be Rich. The instructions on the bottle would say take one pill one week prior to runway show. Drink lots of fluid.

3. Writer's Strike - I could be unselfish and dig deep to the part of me that understands that reality t.v. writers and animators need representation or whatever is holding up this strike. However, I watched Super Nanny and Wife Swap in one night so forgive me if I'm not feeling to considerate today.. GET ON WITH IT ALREADY PEOPLE ... GIVE DI PEOPLE DEM RAISE so I can see what happens to Sylar :-)

4. Super Nanny - Are you serious? You see these little bad ass kids running amok and telling their parents curse words and a little patients and love will make them better. One proper buss ass is all the super nanny I did need when I was a child.

5. Cash Plus - Bwaay it rough but I going to leave this one alone

6. Britney Spears - She doesn't want those kids at all

7. Perez Hilton - Addiction, addiction, addiction. I'm so addicted

8. Ambien - I wonder if I should take it? I can't be thinking this shit.

Nuff Luv,

Mamachel