Mamachel Has Moved

Salutations!

I’ve had a great time at Blogger and I will always love them for popping my blogging virginity. However, All good things come to an end and I’ve decided to move over to WordPress. They have more options that will enable me to provide my readers with a cleaner look aesthetically and features that will allow me to display more adventures.
I wont lie it wasn’t easy but special shout outs to my personal IT crew Dremaican, Experienceaurie, Rummy and DJ Brucki. Lord know’s I’d have popped out my weave by now if it wasnt for you guys … MUAH.

I’m still making tweaks but feel free to send suggestions and I hope you guys stick with me on my new WordPress adventure.

Update your contacts the new address is :mamachel.wordpress.com
Faith and Love,

Mamachel

My Swag Anthem : The Harder they come (throwback Friday)

Hey Guys,


There are certain songs that you can claim as part of the soundtrack to your life. To me "Harder they come" the song AND the movie was a lesson on how to dream big but also a cautionary tale on letting the dream consume you. I can't tell you how many times I've drawn for this song on a rough day or on a good day even. To me it's the ultimate hustlers' anthem and it's that one song that speaks to my soul because no matter what I go through I've never doubted that I'm going to make it. I hope you can get into the vibe of the song. My throwback Friday choice is "Harder they come" - Jimmy Cliff


*Now could someone please go light a spliff for me? ! 


Faith & Love , 


Mamachel ... Follow me @mamachell 

Sex Me Baby Baby

I’ve heard people blame falling in love on everything. From the moon’s alignment to the cologne/ perfume a person was wearing. But one that I keep hearing over and over again is “ The sex was soo good”. So as I sit here watching 16 & Pregnant, and fantasizing about Brody Jenner feeling up my breasts. I finally decide to write this blog, let’s discuss this. As a female I am very aware that ALL men think you will fall in love with them due to the sex game. Yes, I’ve had sex so good I wanted to buy him a short set. Don’t look at me like that you don't know what I’m talking about. These are the ones that make you “irrational” or as my good friend said makes you act “DICKMATIZED”.

 I asked a couple of my male friends if sex can make you fall in love, most said yes but only for females. Apparently men are immune to being “PUSSYTIZED”  ß can I say that? Nevertheless, I did find a semi-sensible explanation among all the testosterone covered answers. One young man compared the situation to a river and rocks. He says sex is the river and the rocks are the obstacles blocking love. The river helping to move or cut through the rocks over time. So basically Good/Great sex can help you fall in love faster.  *Go figure I was drunk*

Okay so now you’ve sexed me into love... now what?   I’m not going to sit here and say I have never been semi dickmatized but I have never confused that with love and i’ve ALWAYS known the source of the feeling. I guess what I’m really trying to figure out here is, how can a feeling as deeply emotional as LOVE be caused by something so purely physical as sex? I mean I’ve SAID stuff... I wont front if you deal wid it right I might even make you some jello, BUT I have NEVER said “I love you” <- But i’ve damn well heard it! Okay im clowning... But seriously, I do agree with men women are more inclined to fall in love based off the sex and not because its that good either but because they tell themselves they are in love. It all goes back to what society thinks and what is acceptable which is if you giving a man yuh chunni then you must be together. And that’s how females end up in loveless relationships running behind some not really worth it man... because he can slang dick. Imma need more than that...

One can be “Dickmatized” at a moment’s notice so I implore my females readers to HALT! At the first sign of Dickmatization and revise the situation at hand. If you find that it is too difficult to do this then it might already be too late. Godspeed.

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

@mamachell

Testimonials: Bad Date You Rate 'em

Howdy Readers, 


Once again I apologize for leaving you so long but things have been crazy. I promise to write regularly after May. Moving along ---> My regular readers will know I tell no lie when I say " I need my own reality show" especially int he L-O-V-E department. I thank god that half my experiences have been witnessed with a friend or mutual acquaintance or else people would say that I am lying. I have chronicled quite a number of them on this here blog as far back as this one --> CLICK HERE  Well this week will not be about me. This week I asked my followers on twitter to share their worst dates ever. All I can say is thank the lord it doesn't happen to only me. I'm still taking emails and Direct messages but here are a few I have so far


1.HELLS KITCHEN : 
Invited me to his house for dinner,worst food ever!After dinner he sat me on the table,said he was ready for dessert and tried to eat me out


2.UNDERCOVER HO-DOWN
She wore no underwear.. It was the first date...she was always on the fone... She asked me out--- undercover sallybug


3.JOLLY RIDER
Would her puking in the cab on the way home count? Sigh


4.PRIVATE DANCER
Haha...one guy took me to a strip club...that's kool tho..I'm open...but it was a BIT much when he excused himself to go pee and I saw hiss ass enter a 'private room' !!

5. NOBU NO BOO
 Went to nobu at atlantis and homeboy didn't have enuff $! Thank god for that#caseshithappen$


6.OF ALL THE FISHES IN THE SEA 
took a guy out for his birthday to a restaurant...he had fish...and sure did spit the bones out off to the side...of the table

7. THERE ARE NO WORDS 
A guy who asked me 20?s.I told him I'm a british citizen he askd "what language do they speak in england?"!(REALLY? Check pls!)


8. BROTHERLY LOVE 
Maybe the one where I was the third leg...seemed more like he was on the date with his sister, who jumped in the front seat....


If you don't see yours as yet im working on a part two. For those just reading send me your worst dates. I'd love more entries from men. 


Faith and Love, 


Mamachel 

Mirror Mirror On the Wall ; View from Venus

Salutations!!,

I've read Mars' post and while I agree with what he is essentially saying I do have a few things that I need to clarify. Yes whether the person is prettier or uglier it will hurt  however, there is such a thing as twisting the knife. Regardless of what most men would like you to believe they are very cognisant of whether a man is more attractive or not. How else could you explain jealousy? You're trying to tell me that men aren't aware that Common is hot? I don't believe you.
 When I threw the question out there alot of men said that they'd prefer if he was uglier but more succesful that way he could justify that it was financial reasons why she left. To date ONLY  two men have said "Chels, I just dont want to know if he's ugly or not". And so from the male point of view I must agree with Mars men tend to be more concerned if his penis is bigger or if he's better in bed but try as you might to pretend I know it still hurts. Now on the female psyche...

Im not going to front... If a man leaves me for a uglier girl thats gonna mess me u p ALL sorts a ways. Remember Im not the only one seeing her, EVERYBODY is going to see her. Everyone is going to see you (my ex) with and "Ugly Girl" not that's a kick in the stomach. Tell me how do you explain that?! 0_o If she's rich you get a lucky break just label his ass as a gigalo and move on people will believe that before they believe he left your fine ass for a simple jane. Leave you for someone prettier then he's just shallow. It's really a lose lose situation cause at the end of the day she has him or he has her and your ass is left alone, a clearly ugly feeling.
The way I see it Brad Pitt did it best he got a bad ass bitch that no one could deny was hot. As much as he went about his infidelity the wrong way people were understanding cause at the end of the day people are shallow with egos.
Leave me fora bitch so bad I can't help but be a fan. Let me be on the phone like "This asshole! I hate him but damn that bitch is bad". That's my point if you leave my ass it better be for Tits, Ass, Smile And a motha loving personality and then you Might get a bligh.


Faith and Love ,

Mamachel

P.s. follow me on twitter.com/@mamachell

Mirror Mirror On the wall : View From Mars

Now you got to ask yourself this question, if you were to get hit down by a car, would you want it to be a Benz or a Lada? If you’re going to be put in prison, do you want it to be for a big crime or a little one? Then in the same breath if you know your significant other is leaving you for someone else, do you want it to be for someone better looking or uglier?
Mars seems to have a somewhat different outlook on this entire situation, that I’m sure Venus will have choice words for. Where as the female may be concerned with questions like "is she prettier that me" or "does she have a better body", men seem to really only be concerned with one key issue… "is he better than me in the sack".
This may stem from the fact that the male ego doesn’t permit us to see another male as better looking or better built, but our animalistic instinct would always like to know that you were a better lover.
Lets face it, a mans personal appearance meter can be boosted by things like money, possessions and success, whereas the only real thing a woman can do to enhance her appearance is slap on another quote of makeup, a wonder bra or a tight short skirt. In the end it all comes down to sex.
Think about it ladies, has your new love interest asked you any of the following questions pertaining to your ex boyfriend–
1). Does he have a bigger dick than me?
2). Did he always make you come?
3). What positions did you guys do?
4). What did he do that you didn’t like?
But gentlemen, how many times have you heard
1). Is she prettier than me?
2). Did she have a bigger butt?
3). Does she have bigger breast?
4). Are you still attracted to her?
In the end it’s only wise to remember that no two people are alike in appearance, and attraction is something that doesn’t only stem from a physical perspective. But if you can keep your lady happy in the sack, there will be a lot less breakups and a whole lot more make up sex!

Faith & Love,

Mars
Hit me on twitter --> @Psykemike

Tax Eh Turbii --> How dis tax ting hurt di dating :p

Greetings!!,

I hope this blog finds everyone in a good mood for the new year and if not, then hold firm as good things come to those who wait. Speaking of waiting for good things it starting to look like with the current economic situation many girls both local and abroad going to have to wait for likkle money to spend on them. If one time we coulda cuss a man that he's mean for not spending any money now we have to look on tings and give him a pass... Yes! Give the men a pass. Have you seen the new prices out there? Here is a list of a few  things that might possibly get affected:

1] Pick up:- As a girl that grew up living on God's back (really far) you kinda learned to judge how serious a guy was if he insisted on picking you up. BUUUT with these new gas prices, gas tax you have to see with him if he says "meet me there" or if those daily pick ups from work become every other day. Hey! he can still open the car door when you reach

2] Restaurant Calibre :- Bwaay big and serious I drove into a Burger King drive through and saw a combo for $600 JMD that's around $5.00 USD  that might not seem like alot but gone are the days when you can push up you mouth at some Burger King. One bredren tell me that if a girl order lobster she must plan fi run di pums 0_o *hard times I telling you people*.. Ladies you betta reat that BK like is fine dining or a man might be having his way right away lol

3] Allowance:- Now this one dedicated to the kept women the ones with "sugar daddies" you gonna have start budgeting out how you spend that money baaayybee 'cause guaranteed the monthly allowance getting cut down. You have to be understanding School fee raise for the kids, wife still want the lifestyle she's used to , and so naturally is your budget get cut have no fear please see the following budgeting tip.

4] Weave: Yes I said it.. Weeeaavee! Plenty girls wont be getting any dates cause dem ugly without it and weave prive gone up my dear. Yaki cyaaan wear again and Milky way is a luxury maybe you should bring back the alicia keys look and invest in some Kanikalon (not sure is suh it spell). Men don't be surprised if you start seeing alotta "natural mystic" everywhere just support her and have some wonder 8 oil ready in case that puff is dry :p

But on a serious note does this mean that we have to settle in the dating world? That we both have to behave like orphan annie and split a whopper in two?! I think not I think now is the best time to get creative. Ladies instead of going out to dinner and spending more money invite him over make something to eat and here's the thing It doesn't have to be a three course meal. Make some Mac n' Cheese and serve that in nothing but a apron and heels and TRUST MI he'll praise that like its Fillet Mignon*

Fellas rent a DVD invite her over put that on aprojector and have a movie night at home. Sheeitt serve me some Mac n Cheese ina apron alone *sans heels*

If anything these hard times will affirm its what ive been saying all along "it's the little things that matter" .

Faith and Love <- they're tax free,

Mamachel

Make Me Over? View from Venus

It's something i've seen constantly in relationships whether it's romantic or strictly platonic someone's always trying to change the other person. Im not talking about parents naggin you to change this or that. They can get away with that, it's their JOB. Im speaking about mainly in the relationship you know what I'm talking about that significant other who always seem to have some form of criticism. Now before men take this and run with it I see nothing wrong with offering advice to a partner about something that can make the relationship run more smoothly i.e return calls, inform if  your going to be late, or don't talk down to me infront of my boys all with a nice PLEASE. What I have a problem with is someone trying to change WHO they knew you were before they started the relationship. Homey you knew she was a lush wasn't she drunk when you got her number? Woman didn't you meet him with braids, how all of a sudden you want him bald?
I see it as a deception. How might you ask? Well here I am all happy that I've found someone that loves me for all my quirks and faults only to find out over time that in fact you weren't in love with who I am but with who you could make me. I have a major problem with is.I cannot count the times i've dated a guy only to be disappointed by the criticisms "so hmm chel you swear alot" to which I respond "fuck yeah, you didnt know me before?"   This is one of the fundamental problems in most relationships or inability to accept a aprtner for who they are.Many of us go into relationships with the intent to change. WHY?!!! I can't tell you how many times I have heard a girl say " He's not my type but I can work with it" and everytime I ask myself "Wat shi really mean by work wid it, after is not a house she a buy and fix up?". I shake my head because sooner or later someone's going to get tired of either being nagged or not being able to change a person.
Here is my concern... If you dont like that fact that I drink ( some might say alot sic ), swear like a sailor, and speak my mind then we definately can't be in a relationship. I've heard of men not wanting their girls to speak patios (patwah) in public o.0  I wish a nigga would try and tell me what dialect I could and could not use cause last time I checked my tongue was in MY mouth hmph.
At the endof the day i've spent many lonesome nights and days because I'm not trying to change anyone I love you for who you are BUT you aren't always for me but we cool.. right?All i'm saying is the minute a man starts trying to make me over I'm gone. "Take me as I am, or have nothing at all" <- who sing dat again?

Faith and Love,

Mamachell

Feelin Hot! Hot! Hot! Diary: Day 5 <- Yippee

Salutations,

Today was a great day. I had promised my readers that I'd bounce back from yesterday's shame with a vengeance and I think I did a fair enough job (if I may say so myself). Oh well, One with it!

6:30 a.m.: I wake up and get to work after much deliberation over which shoes I have to match what top I choose my outfit and jump into the shower (plug in curling iron) <- not necessarily in that order.

Things run smoothly for the morning I even put on some eyeshadow (mad ting). I step out the door and reel so confident I dont even pack a B.U.B (back up bingo).

8:35 a.m.: I'm greeted at the door with a whistle and a "Wow! hot girl" :) Throughout the day I get random compliments from co workers and visiting clients and vendors. Shooks my hair was so on point someone thought I had gone tot he hairdresser. All in all it was a success.

3:30 p.m.: I touch up makeup not too much. I also make plans to meet my bredren at Devon House to enjoy some Devon Stout ice cream, I'm sorry I have to go "somewhere" and it's food (my belly shall lead me astray).

Findings: My admiration for women who can maintain this look on a daily basis has grown immensely. And although I cannot promise you that I will develop those habits (I do believe you have to be girly by nature) I cannot deny that the compliments and attention wasn't pleasant. I will dress up every now and then just as a reminder :)

P.S. thanks to all my readers and tweeps who followed, encouraged, commented, read and most importantly woke me the hell up :) It was appreciated. To my new readers welcome and thank you and to the veterans bless i appreciate the encouragement.

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

Kiss My BBM ....

Hey,

This will be short

I'm good at observing. If you're trying to pick that wedgie with no one seeing chances are I'm that 'itch (no pun intended) at the other end of the room laughing cause I caught you. So for all the men out there tryna "check" me please please please (insert James Brown voice) DO NOT think for one minute I don't see you.

Case In Point:

How is it that you have time to BBM (blackberry messenger) me on the daily, asking for pictures and sending crazy emoticons/smileys but once I no longer have a blackberry you go missing? No No people, I mean really missing. Like I'm about to call Whoopi to be a medium cause clearly this nigga has gone Ghost. And to make matters worse you on my facebook, msn AND you have my number.
Please, Please, Please <--- there go James Brown again, don't let me find out that you're one of these new generation cheap skates who have no clue how to even attempt to get in a some drawers. Ladies, you know what i'm talking about the ones who ONLY hit you up on Twitter, BBM, Facebook chat, MSN. Anything to avoid buying minutes or credit. No pupah jeezaz dem man give a new meaning to penny pincha!

And then I start thinking what's going to happen when I get back another Blackberry and should I re-add him will he just pick up where we left off? Like should I just accept your pin request then start talking like you haven't ignored me for the past month? Should I just ignore the fact that although you want pokey you find it hard to spend a $17.50 per a minute just to say hello? Suh wait what gonna happen when you finally get di goods? All lef fi mi expect is some messenger pigeon.

Here's the verdict: In the end this young man does not deem the young lady worthy enough to put some minutes on him phone and make a call. And while the onus is not necessarily on the man to always call it is recommended especially seeing he was looking the naa naa in the first place. Anyways, if him cyan spend some money fi likkle credit fi call OR text a girl him "like" then re-add him yes and when him send you a :* (that's kiss in BBM) just reply and say "Hey cheap ass KISS my BBM

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

Wah Cause Dat?!

What's up?

People I have soo much to say but I can't let it out all at once. Let me jump right in. My last post was about "Why men love crazy women". In all honesty I wrote that blog thinking it would be a one time blog. Man was I wrong! After some recent events it's become very clear to me that there will always be that one crazy 'ish that will make it bad for every calm, collected and composed female out there.

Have you ever seen some shit that has left you aghast? I'm not talking like a "wow" here people, I'm talking like a "Boooommmbboocllaattt!!!". Well I did. I saw some shit that made everything that I have ever posted about "crazy women" doing seem like they just threw a tantrum. So now I want some of these very "expressive" young ladies to talk to me and answer the following questions:

1] A wah cause dat?! - Like Tina Turner said "what's love got to do with it?!". You are telling me that you're on the floor in the club crying holding on to homeboy's pants because he said he doesn't love you?! Please please somebody pass me a belt 'cause this young lady need some discipline in her life.

2] Inna Real Life ?! - I have to ask like are you aware that this is real life and NOT Fatal Attraction? Do youknow that by doing certain things that there are consequences.?You can't break into his house or car and not get charged if he wants to. And please don't let me start talking about the stalking... Short of a nigga giving me something venereal I CANNOT think of what he could do to make me act this way.

3] You rolling Inna mad gyal posse?! - I am a true believer in the power of friendship. Friends save you from buying that bright green sequin dress wid the tie and dye lace around the edges (don't ask) and friends can talk you into and out of things. Do Not get me wrong, if my sistren thinks her man of four (4) years cheating on her I'll do a little drive by for her to check. But if she plan to go to suspected jump offs workplace and play the fool???? smaddy pass di belt cause mi haffi discipline har!!
Friends don't let friends do stupid shit. full stop comma, dash dash., --

4] Where is your self respect?! - Now I know alot of females are going to say this is unfair and I'm a bitch. But in the end unless you've been glamorized (sp) by some True Blood vampire then you ultimately have control over yourself. NUH MAN!! can mek me act like a ediat outta road! translation = Naan nigga can get me to act a fool in dah street! Are you maaaad? You mean to tell me that in big big 2009 I must create scene over someting as common as penis AND it nuh patent?! I would crazy glue myself to my bed before i go outta road and quarrel or beg a man back. He cannot make you crazy. You make yourself crazy and trust me I am that bitch in the corner sipping my henney taking in the scene and saying "WTH?!!"

Don't get me wrong people. I'm not made of stone, I've shed my fair share of tears over a broken heart but almost always in private or to close friends. And yes, oh yes there have been those brave ones who have tried me... But I've always been able to discipline them before things got out of hand. Ladies a man once told me that he couldn't do to me anything that I didn't allow and that has stuck with me all these years. You need to know YOU HAVE DI PUM PUM POWAH!! Use it! Don't have no man feeling extra special or all big headed because you killing up yourself over him.

Take mamachel's foolish advice: If you want to get a man's attention just play cool act like, his not calling or seeing you has been no big deal. Don't call him back and when you see him out smile and be ever so polite. It will make him pause trust me...

But anyways if you've ever pulled a Jazmine Sullivan or Not maybe a Carrie Underwood then hit me up let me know what was the motive behind it.... Cause i really need to understand.

Love and Faith,

Mamachel

Di Maddah Di Sweetah??!!!

Public arguments, collection of evidence, police sirens, carefully co ordinated tails. No people this is not an episode of Law & Order. It is the recollections of some of my male friends of some "crazy" females they've been involved with. I cannot tell you how many times I have bared witness (open mouthed of course) to some female getting out and bad on another guy. And almost always I have thought to myself "wow that relationship is over". Well, silly me. I just recently found out that a large percentage of men loves a crazy woman.

I have had bredrens bring a change of clothes when we are going out because the girl they're seeing is following them. Oh Ive received many a emails warning me to stay away from more than one childhood friend. And yes people, I have been physically accosted due to some misunderstanding. Oh trust me there was a misunderstanding. But when I ask my friends "Why don't you leave her?". Some look scared others reply, "Jah know, she though!". As a result I have come to the conclusion that as long as you're hot most men will put up with anything.

As usual in my efforts to remain objective I asked around five of my sane male friends the following: 1] Why Do you love crazy women? 2] Is it a Ego thing? and 3] Is the sex really that much better?. Most of them didn't really have a reason as to why they loved the crazy ones but they all agreed that it did get old after awhile. One making the analogy of the crazy girl being a speeding bike going downhill after awhile you're going to get tired and you will eventually get hurt. But almost all unanimously agreed that yes the sex is actually better as the "crazy" ones are actually less inhibited and keeping them around is indeed a ego thing. As one bredren so eloquently put it, "Yuh just waan feel seh is your cocky mek she gwaan suh mad. She doa waan share it, she want i all fi harself because it dat good". Jesus take the wheel.

On that note. I'm glad I know all this now. No longer will I waste my efforts by making roast fish for my man, giving him kisses,or doing something as silly as being kind nor compassionate. Instead, the next man I speak to can expect some shit that will make Jazmine Sullivan and Carrie Underwood look like my little ponies. Yep, brace yourself! I'm coming with the good stuff my next boyfriend can expect public arguments, broken windshields, incessant texting, whippings, broken plates, impromptu crying and to top it off I'm going to memorize the serial numbers on your condoms.

Cause clearly the maddah di sweetah.

Mamachel ,

Faith and Craziness (Love)

Transformer 2 Review

Over and Out,

Mamachel :) Optimus prime a di dadz

THROW BACK FRIDAY

I loved this song for awhile still do. It just speaks to so many things that have happened to me but at the same time showing how it helps to "Tek serious ting mek joke". Hope you enjoy....

Pretty Ricky Controversy!!

Howdy,

You know the other day Spectacular came out with a video on the internet. And I'm not gonna like that shit caught me off guard. I kept getting disturbing flashbacks all through out my workday. And I've been thinking of how I'd put my feelings into words but Alas sometimes you have to let another writer put those thoughts together so take it away Ms. Jia:

USAIN BOLT RETURNS HOME AND SHOWS HOW WE CELEBRATE

I send this message to the "To DI Worl" ....

Caribbean people have always loved to party, we've always found it hard not to move to the beat. Usain Bolt is a son of the Caribbean.

It came as no surprise that he danced when he won his gold medals. If you know your history then you know we are a people whose ancestors danced when they were happy, danced when there were sad. So dance mister bolt, dance... JAMAICA LUV YUH!
">




Dance and Prance, Beijing to France,

Mamachel To di World

HUSBAND MATERIAL? PT. 1

SALUTATIONS,

I know I have been gone for a minute or hour and I won't make false promises of timely blogs but I'm back for now so here we go...

I've been having a serious writers block In regards to what to write about. Today I started my research asking all my male friends what it is that makes a girl "wife Material". This fascination was brought on by a conversation that I happened to overhear about a young lady who was certified wife material as every man she had saw her as a keeper. I was a bit confused by this as I couldn't understand if she was such a then how come it's every guy? No one supposed to let her go...see what I'm saying?

While I was asking a friend of mine asked me "What makes a guy Husband material?" and frankly I was stumped. I have never really sat down and thought about it. I found my self giving textbook answers I mean I know I would love if he wasn't butt ugly, made a honest dollar, was compassionate yadda yadda yadda. It made me start thinking what type of guy is husband material. The research was a little chaotic some claiming that buddy (sex) and money is all that is needed but I've heard that song before and it gets retracted usually at karaoke night singing to Celine Dion's "all by myself" after too many Gin and Tonics.

I finally got answers that made sense... Most women wanted a confidant,someone who listens (if they don't like that blue pants would it hurt not to wear it around her?), compassionate, a good lover, one lady voiced that she had her set values that a guy must fulfill in order to even be considered i.e. earning good money, family oriented, clean, loyal, and faithful.

I have my opinions on the last two but I'll wait on my readers to weigh in on that.

Personally for me I'm happy when I find someone I can be myself around as most I hold close and dear think I'm mad. So understanding is definitely a priority for me...LOL


My research is incomplete. Let me know what you think makes a guy husband material or guys let me know what I've left off.


Over and Out,

Mamachel

Beep! Beep! Who's in the back of that Jeep??!!

Bless Up! Welcome to the New Year,

Ive been out of the island had to go to Miami to visit a friend. During my travel I learned some very, very interesting things. Now, ladies some of you are going to hate the fact that I'm giving away some secrets but I was truly baffled by this conversation. I was having dinner with three friends who shall remain nameless two females and one male (lord help him) when the conversation inevitably turned to men's inability to cheat without getting caught. Now I personally believe that men only get caught when they want to whether its subconscious or conscious the want to. Nevertheless, I was curious as to the methods that my sistrens used to catch these cheaters and trust me when they were finished I think men have no chance.

Exhibit A - The Stow Away

Now what would possess a woman to hideout in the back of her boyfriends truck to see if he really is going to do what he said he would that day? I mean might as well just wait till he falls asleep and input a GPS chip in his arm and follow the dots baby! The end result of this was that the man did do everything he said he would do and the girl felt stupid and extra stupid when I laughed at her.

Exhibit B - CONDOMimiuim

I'm sure by now ALL men know about girlfriends counting the condoms left over before they leave the house. But my bredren got caught the other day because you can match MAGNUM with MAGNUM but how you gonna get the serial numbers to match? Watch out now!!

Exhibit C - Female Buddy Investigator

Men, do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? That Subaru three cars down looks suspiciously like your girlfriends? Well, chances are it is. Objects in mirror are more stalkish than they appear.

I was a little bewildered by all these actions. However, I was kindly informed that men are hip to the cellphone thing. Inbox are now evidence free and outboxes are empty, some have even gotten hip to it and learned how to code lock their phones. As a result women have been compelled to step -up their game and change the tactics. I have always believed that regardless of any tactic used a man will cheat if he wants to and all the time they usually hang themselves if you give them enough rope. So, nope, mamachel will never stow away not me not this bitch I aint bunnin' up inna no van back, or count a serial number on a condom but, I will fight and knowing that piece of information has always helped my boyfriends with their discretion.

Tell me what you think... is it worth it?

Nuff Luv,

Mamachel

My Thoughts On...

Hey,

Ive been laying awake at night thinking about the most random things and you know what they say misery loves company. So here are my thoughts on the most random.

1. Tiger attacks - Hmmm...It's very sad that these parents had to lose a son at all much less during the holidays. There are investigating claims that the tiger was taunted. If these grown ass kids drank a bottle of vodka then climbed over a fence (no matter how low) and troubled a Siberian Tiger,then I got one thing to say to them. Persistent, Provocation, Provokes a Patient Tiger(scratch that I meant Person) depending Particularly on the Painful Punishment after.

2. Gastroenteritis/ Gastro for short - The nice version of this is the stomach flu. If I could bottle and sell this to models I'd be Rich. The instructions on the bottle would say take one pill one week prior to runway show. Drink lots of fluid.

3. Writer's Strike - I could be unselfish and dig deep to the part of me that understands that reality t.v. writers and animators need representation or whatever is holding up this strike. However, I watched Super Nanny and Wife Swap in one night so forgive me if I'm not feeling to considerate today.. GET ON WITH IT ALREADY PEOPLE ... GIVE DI PEOPLE DEM RAISE so I can see what happens to Sylar :-)

4. Super Nanny - Are you serious? You see these little bad ass kids running amok and telling their parents curse words and a little patients and love will make them better. One proper buss ass is all the super nanny I did need when I was a child.

5. Cash Plus - Bwaay it rough but I going to leave this one alone

6. Britney Spears - She doesn't want those kids at all

7. Perez Hilton - Addiction, addiction, addiction. I'm so addicted

8. Ambien - I wonder if I should take it? I can't be thinking this shit.

Nuff Luv,

Mamachel

Finding Love Online??!!

Hey All,

I'm not new to this Internet thing. I know how to communicate and Ive been in my fair share of chat rooms. Heck, there's one that I visit daily and I've developed a friendship with other bloggers such as bronx,neopanther,luna,gksden,watchlist and others that would just fill this whole post. We all speak about different aspects of our lives and we seek and dish out advice. I recently got help with my slide show from Luna, something I've been trying to do for months. I have read their blogs and seen their pictures and they have done the same with me.
I put all of this out because in all my time in this chat room I have never received an outwardly sexual or intimate gesture. So, imagine my surprise when I join myspace and start getting loads and loads of friend requests from men who love my smile, or thinks I'm charming and would like to get to know me better. Raastafari!!! How can you tell i'm charming from my picture? Just a word to the wise "all that glitter isn't gold". And so I ask the question. Do people actually hook up on Myspace, Facebook, Hi5? Do they write each other and meet and form long and lasting relationships? Please let a sister know. All I've gotten so far are a couple marriage proposals,booty call messages, and I now have a Peruvian porn star stalking my black ass. I'm not looking for love, Mamachel already has her Bubba. Nevertheless, I'm curious, do people really hook up on these sites?

Blessed Love,

Mamachel '07