Testimonials: Bad Date You Rate 'em

Howdy Readers, 


Once again I apologize for leaving you so long but things have been crazy. I promise to write regularly after May. Moving along ---> My regular readers will know I tell no lie when I say " I need my own reality show" especially int he L-O-V-E department. I thank god that half my experiences have been witnessed with a friend or mutual acquaintance or else people would say that I am lying. I have chronicled quite a number of them on this here blog as far back as this one --> CLICK HERE  Well this week will not be about me. This week I asked my followers on twitter to share their worst dates ever. All I can say is thank the lord it doesn't happen to only me. I'm still taking emails and Direct messages but here are a few I have so far


1.HELLS KITCHEN : 
Invited me to his house for dinner,worst food ever!After dinner he sat me on the table,said he was ready for dessert and tried to eat me out


2.UNDERCOVER HO-DOWN
She wore no underwear.. It was the first date...she was always on the fone... She asked me out--- undercover sallybug


3.JOLLY RIDER
Would her puking in the cab on the way home count? Sigh


4.PRIVATE DANCER
Haha...one guy took me to a strip club...that's kool tho..I'm open...but it was a BIT much when he excused himself to go pee and I saw hiss ass enter a 'private room' !!

5. NOBU NO BOO
 Went to nobu at atlantis and homeboy didn't have enuff $! Thank god for that#caseshithappen$


6.OF ALL THE FISHES IN THE SEA 
took a guy out for his birthday to a restaurant...he had fish...and sure did spit the bones out off to the side...of the table

7. THERE ARE NO WORDS 
A guy who asked me 20?s.I told him I'm a british citizen he askd "what language do they speak in england?"!(REALLY? Check pls!)


8. BROTHERLY LOVE 
Maybe the one where I was the third leg...seemed more like he was on the date with his sister, who jumped in the front seat....


If you don't see yours as yet im working on a part two. For those just reading send me your worst dates. I'd love more entries from men. 


Faith and Love, 


Mamachel 

Feelin Hot! Hot! Hot! Diary: Day 5 <- Yippee

Salutations,

Today was a great day. I had promised my readers that I'd bounce back from yesterday's shame with a vengeance and I think I did a fair enough job (if I may say so myself). Oh well, One with it!

6:30 a.m.: I wake up and get to work after much deliberation over which shoes I have to match what top I choose my outfit and jump into the shower (plug in curling iron) <- not necessarily in that order.

Things run smoothly for the morning I even put on some eyeshadow (mad ting). I step out the door and reel so confident I dont even pack a B.U.B (back up bingo).

8:35 a.m.: I'm greeted at the door with a whistle and a "Wow! hot girl" :) Throughout the day I get random compliments from co workers and visiting clients and vendors. Shooks my hair was so on point someone thought I had gone tot he hairdresser. All in all it was a success.

3:30 p.m.: I touch up makeup not too much. I also make plans to meet my bredren at Devon House to enjoy some Devon Stout ice cream, I'm sorry I have to go "somewhere" and it's food (my belly shall lead me astray).

Findings: My admiration for women who can maintain this look on a daily basis has grown immensely. And although I cannot promise you that I will develop those habits (I do believe you have to be girly by nature) I cannot deny that the compliments and attention wasn't pleasant. I will dress up every now and then just as a reminder :)

P.S. thanks to all my readers and tweeps who followed, encouraged, commented, read and most importantly woke me the hell up :) It was appreciated. To my new readers welcome and thank you and to the veterans bless i appreciate the encouragement.

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

Kiss My BBM ....

Hey,

This will be short

I'm good at observing. If you're trying to pick that wedgie with no one seeing chances are I'm that 'itch (no pun intended) at the other end of the room laughing cause I caught you. So for all the men out there tryna "check" me please please please (insert James Brown voice) DO NOT think for one minute I don't see you.

Case In Point:

How is it that you have time to BBM (blackberry messenger) me on the daily, asking for pictures and sending crazy emoticons/smileys but once I no longer have a blackberry you go missing? No No people, I mean really missing. Like I'm about to call Whoopi to be a medium cause clearly this nigga has gone Ghost. And to make matters worse you on my facebook, msn AND you have my number.
Please, Please, Please <--- there go James Brown again, don't let me find out that you're one of these new generation cheap skates who have no clue how to even attempt to get in a some drawers. Ladies, you know what i'm talking about the ones who ONLY hit you up on Twitter, BBM, Facebook chat, MSN. Anything to avoid buying minutes or credit. No pupah jeezaz dem man give a new meaning to penny pincha!

And then I start thinking what's going to happen when I get back another Blackberry and should I re-add him will he just pick up where we left off? Like should I just accept your pin request then start talking like you haven't ignored me for the past month? Should I just ignore the fact that although you want pokey you find it hard to spend a $17.50 per a minute just to say hello? Suh wait what gonna happen when you finally get di goods? All lef fi mi expect is some messenger pigeon.

Here's the verdict: In the end this young man does not deem the young lady worthy enough to put some minutes on him phone and make a call. And while the onus is not necessarily on the man to always call it is recommended especially seeing he was looking the naa naa in the first place. Anyways, if him cyan spend some money fi likkle credit fi call OR text a girl him "like" then re-add him yes and when him send you a :* (that's kiss in BBM) just reply and say "Hey cheap ass KISS my BBM

Faith and Love,

Mamachel

Wah Cause Dat?!

What's up?

People I have soo much to say but I can't let it out all at once. Let me jump right in. My last post was about "Why men love crazy women". In all honesty I wrote that blog thinking it would be a one time blog. Man was I wrong! After some recent events it's become very clear to me that there will always be that one crazy 'ish that will make it bad for every calm, collected and composed female out there.

Have you ever seen some shit that has left you aghast? I'm not talking like a "wow" here people, I'm talking like a "Boooommmbboocllaattt!!!". Well I did. I saw some shit that made everything that I have ever posted about "crazy women" doing seem like they just threw a tantrum. So now I want some of these very "expressive" young ladies to talk to me and answer the following questions:

1] A wah cause dat?! - Like Tina Turner said "what's love got to do with it?!". You are telling me that you're on the floor in the club crying holding on to homeboy's pants because he said he doesn't love you?! Please please somebody pass me a belt 'cause this young lady need some discipline in her life.

2] Inna Real Life ?! - I have to ask like are you aware that this is real life and NOT Fatal Attraction? Do youknow that by doing certain things that there are consequences.?You can't break into his house or car and not get charged if he wants to. And please don't let me start talking about the stalking... Short of a nigga giving me something venereal I CANNOT think of what he could do to make me act this way.

3] You rolling Inna mad gyal posse?! - I am a true believer in the power of friendship. Friends save you from buying that bright green sequin dress wid the tie and dye lace around the edges (don't ask) and friends can talk you into and out of things. Do Not get me wrong, if my sistren thinks her man of four (4) years cheating on her I'll do a little drive by for her to check. But if she plan to go to suspected jump offs workplace and play the fool???? smaddy pass di belt cause mi haffi discipline har!!
Friends don't let friends do stupid shit. full stop comma, dash dash., --

4] Where is your self respect?! - Now I know alot of females are going to say this is unfair and I'm a bitch. But in the end unless you've been glamorized (sp) by some True Blood vampire then you ultimately have control over yourself. NUH MAN!! can mek me act like a ediat outta road! translation = Naan nigga can get me to act a fool in dah street! Are you maaaad? You mean to tell me that in big big 2009 I must create scene over someting as common as penis AND it nuh patent?! I would crazy glue myself to my bed before i go outta road and quarrel or beg a man back. He cannot make you crazy. You make yourself crazy and trust me I am that bitch in the corner sipping my henney taking in the scene and saying "WTH?!!"

Don't get me wrong people. I'm not made of stone, I've shed my fair share of tears over a broken heart but almost always in private or to close friends. And yes, oh yes there have been those brave ones who have tried me... But I've always been able to discipline them before things got out of hand. Ladies a man once told me that he couldn't do to me anything that I didn't allow and that has stuck with me all these years. You need to know YOU HAVE DI PUM PUM POWAH!! Use it! Don't have no man feeling extra special or all big headed because you killing up yourself over him.

Take mamachel's foolish advice: If you want to get a man's attention just play cool act like, his not calling or seeing you has been no big deal. Don't call him back and when you see him out smile and be ever so polite. It will make him pause trust me...

But anyways if you've ever pulled a Jazmine Sullivan or Not maybe a Carrie Underwood then hit me up let me know what was the motive behind it.... Cause i really need to understand.

Love and Faith,

Mamachel

Di Maddah Di Sweetah??!!!

Public arguments, collection of evidence, police sirens, carefully co ordinated tails. No people this is not an episode of Law & Order. It is the recollections of some of my male friends of some "crazy" females they've been involved with. I cannot tell you how many times I have bared witness (open mouthed of course) to some female getting out and bad on another guy. And almost always I have thought to myself "wow that relationship is over". Well, silly me. I just recently found out that a large percentage of men loves a crazy woman.

I have had bredrens bring a change of clothes when we are going out because the girl they're seeing is following them. Oh Ive received many a emails warning me to stay away from more than one childhood friend. And yes people, I have been physically accosted due to some misunderstanding. Oh trust me there was a misunderstanding. But when I ask my friends "Why don't you leave her?". Some look scared others reply, "Jah know, she though!". As a result I have come to the conclusion that as long as you're hot most men will put up with anything.

As usual in my efforts to remain objective I asked around five of my sane male friends the following: 1] Why Do you love crazy women? 2] Is it a Ego thing? and 3] Is the sex really that much better?. Most of them didn't really have a reason as to why they loved the crazy ones but they all agreed that it did get old after awhile. One making the analogy of the crazy girl being a speeding bike going downhill after awhile you're going to get tired and you will eventually get hurt. But almost all unanimously agreed that yes the sex is actually better as the "crazy" ones are actually less inhibited and keeping them around is indeed a ego thing. As one bredren so eloquently put it, "Yuh just waan feel seh is your cocky mek she gwaan suh mad. She doa waan share it, she want i all fi harself because it dat good". Jesus take the wheel.

On that note. I'm glad I know all this now. No longer will I waste my efforts by making roast fish for my man, giving him kisses,or doing something as silly as being kind nor compassionate. Instead, the next man I speak to can expect some shit that will make Jazmine Sullivan and Carrie Underwood look like my little ponies. Yep, brace yourself! I'm coming with the good stuff my next boyfriend can expect public arguments, broken windshields, incessant texting, whippings, broken plates, impromptu crying and to top it off I'm going to memorize the serial numbers on your condoms.

Cause clearly the maddah di sweetah.

Mamachel ,

Faith and Craziness (Love)

Puncture this!!!

Hey All,

Yesterday I was offered a ride home by a friend (who will remain anonymous..you know who you are). On these rare occasions in which I get to escape the taxi (dusty car, loud radio, ignorant driver) hell I jump at the opportunity. End of the work day comes and I am actually worry free about how I will reach home. Today big tings a gwaan cause Mamachel not stranded. Anyhoo, I get pick up a little late because my friend work a little ways from here. I get picked up and we begin our long journey home :-) We are having a grand time talking and catching up on old times and I start thinking to myself "Wow I really have a good friend here". You know people sometimes you just talk to quick. In the middle of that thought i hear "platta, platta, platta". I turn and say "What's that sound?" I starting to get worried because cold sweat start wash my bredren. He turns to me and say "I have a flat."

Whew!! I thought something was wrong with the engine. I start smiling again as he finds a place to park. Im thinking to myself its only a flat he has a spare and this will be changed and over with in no time. Join me here people "Bwaay was I wrong". The short of the stroy is him dont know how to change a tire!!!!! I am not lying, I'm not being wicked. My big, big 20 odd year old friend has no knowledge of changing a tire. So at first I thought it was a joke. Upon realizing that I have to change it myself. I get to work. "I" Mamachel jack up the car myself and pull the bolt dem an' pull of the tire, position the spare tire, tighten the bolt dem and do everything else to change this tire. Now people I'm a good friend I wasnt upset sometimes poeple know things and sometimes they dont.

What took the cake though was that all this time never once did he offer to take up the tire, jack up the car, or help me tighten the bolts. But what took the cake, was when he went across the street and got HIMSELF a drink and didnt offer me one or even a sip. It was at this very moment that I started thinking of how I could change the tire and make off with the car without him in it. Regardless of all this I changed the tire, and got dropped home. Now he is calling me to go here and there but I'm traumatized I cant help but think "What if him get another puncture?" No sah, anywhere we going again I'll meet him there.

Mamachel (your neighborhood mechanic)

Over and Out '07

In the End

Hey All,

Today I lost a good friend and although he's not the first friend that I have lost he is the first for 2007. This was suppose to be my good year. The year when all evil and wicked things would stay clear of my heart. Easier said than done. I cannot remember the last time I lost a friend to a natural cause of late it has always been some random act of violence. And while I sit here and type I cannot help but feel the anger rise in me. How dare another human feel they have th right to take these speacial people away from me? Not just me, but from their families (sisters, mothers and friends). I will cry all day and night but these people will cry forever. They will always glimpse their son or brother in a stranger passing by, always empathize with another mother who has lost a son. They will be forever haunted.

How can you speak to a friend today and lose him that very night? What do you tell his family? There is nothing to say, there is nothing to do except cry. In the End nothing matters except that remember how he loved football, was the nicest person in the world, was your big brother, was a hard worker, was a great son, respected women to the hilt, would have been a great father to a lucky son, would have made a greeat husband to a lucky woman, would have been one of the friends that would still visit even when we were old.

In the End you think of what your loved one was and also what he could have been. But today when it all ends all I can think of is that I lost a Friend and a brother. In the end I am left with anger, and no understanding as to why any of my friends have been taken.

In the End i'm lef twith only memories.


John P, Jamie Lue, and all others Can't forget about you.....


Mamachel

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Hey Peeps,

Its Valentine's Day again wow time sure does fly. It feels like just yesterday that I was skipping stations searching for ANYTHING but a love song, flipping through channels wondering what in the world has happened to my regular programming and most of all dodging questions of "What did you get for Valentine's Day?" Well apparently it was a year ago and like I said Valentine's Day is around once more and to top things off the questions started from early this week. Do not get me wrong people I fully support Valentine's Day I just need to find a significant other who feels the same. For many it is that one day just like Christmas when they can show how much they appreciate another person. Simple enough right?

Wrong. For many (usually the men) Valentine's Day now involves spending gross amounts of money. As a result, Men have started to rebel all of a sudden they are concerned with how materialistic this day. One excuse that is VERY popular with the opposite sex is that "I show my love year round , my girl don't need one day to make her know i love her." Who fool him? OF course she does. Unknown to men that present doesn't just verify your love to her but also to her peers. Have you ever seen the face of a lady that receives a bouquet of flowers at work, she beams like crazy.

I hate to break it to you but Valentine's Day might have become materialistic but my question is this If you show your love throughout the year why would you chose this one day (valentine's) not to show it? It shouldn't be such a big deal.

To lighten things up let Mamachel know some of your funniest or most trifling Valentine's Day excuses and experiences.


Roses for All,

Mamachel 07

Jamaican Letter to Santa (It's not easy being St. Nicholas)!! !!!!

Think Santa job easy???!! lol

Dear Santa,

I know you probly wondering why I writing yuh one day after Christmas, but after opening mi presents dem yesterday, I just had was to write yuh. Santa mi was a very good girl all year round. Mi listen to mi mummy when she talk to mi and ah help out wid di chores dem round di house. Ah even help di neigbor pickney dem do fi dem chores to. One day mi all help out di old crosses Mr. George, the blind an cripple one, cross the road when di other children dem just ah watch him an ah tek gamble pon what kind of cyar did ah go lick him dung. Santa, dem just lef him deh fi dead, but mi help him out. Santa ah studied real hard in school this year, so hard till mi all come fuss inna di class. Ah make it mi duty to be nice and not naughty Santa. I was so good. Ah real good girl Santa.
Santa when ah write mi Christmas list to yuh dis year, ah ask yuh for a Barbie princess doll, ah Barbie kitchen, ah Dora the Explorer computer game, a cyabbage patch doll and ah monopoly game. So Santa, how the blood claat after reading mi list yuh leave under di Christmass tree ah fucking light up yo-yo, one plastic tea-cup set and ah fucking no name dolly dat look like she have polio and ah dead from AIDS?
Santa is either yuh blind or yuh cyah blood claat read!!!
Every year ah say ah would stop believing in yuh and like ah dyam fool mi always give yuh ah next chance, but not ah fucking-gain, yuh hear mi Santa? Not a bloodclaat.
Yuh hear what ah say Santa? Yuh fucking fat red rass yuh. Yuh see all nex year, yuh better dont try squeeze yuh big fat batty thru mi louvres dem, because Santa ah swear ah going fuck yuh up. It going to be me , you and dis sharp blood claat knife, so i can juk yuh inna yuh belly. Yuh hear mi sah? Mi ah go stab up yuh Bloodcaat. Imagine, yuh give that likkle cock eye gyal Sally from cross di road everything that she ax fah. So much so dat she all nuh have nuh room fi walk round she house. Santa, yuh see you and dem fucking reindeer, di whole ah unno better t'ink twice bout land pon my house top next year, especially that old drunkard Rudoplh wid him rass red nose. Santa, yuh ever wonder why Rudolph nose red? Is because him is a fucking rum head. Rudoplh is ah drunkard Santa. Him beat di liquor hard.
Dat is shy him nose always red Santa. Yuh see all him, mek him just blink him rass nose just one time, ah swear him woulda wish it was green. cause ah wooda out di light so fucking fast dat you and dem blasted reindeer wouldn't able fi find unnu way back to di north pole. Yuh see all nex year Santa, ah will be back to mi good old self. Dat's right Santa. Ah not going give mummy nuh trouble or cause nuh havoc roun'ere .
And Santa, a goin wait pon you patiently ....ah goin wait pon yuh paitently with ah big blood claat rock stone fi yuh backside. And den when you and them blasted reindeer dat favour some dyam oversize goat wid tree branch ah grow otta dem head top, com ho-ho hoing down pon dis old rusty zinc nex Chirstmas.....BOOP!!!!! Is one rass lick inna yuh blood claat head.
Santa ah going done yuh blood claat, Membe dat yuh hear Santa.

Try Memba dat
Love

Likkle Miss

Hope I'm Santa's pixie

"Breadfruits roasting on an open fire, Jackfruit sticking to your nose, christmas songs being song by a choir and folks dressed up like pappi show"

Christmas is just around the corner folks and I am trying to feel the christmas spirit. Its my first christmas in an apartment by MYSELF *gasp* I most surely will be heading to my folks place for the x-mas dinner but its not the same. Nevertheless, I have embarked on a mission to put myself in the x-mas spirit. I bought pepperlights (note to self: need more than 1 pack), I ordered x-mas cake (will not even attempt to make that myself) and I have initiated a pixie in the office.

Now Pixie what is a pixie you might ask? Well I put everyones name in a bag and we choose, the price limits of the gifts are set and everyone has a jolly good time. Unfortunately, I have lost the pixie bag! Now tell me, how does a pixie bag throw away itself?!!! It surely wasnt me. But however it got there I can tell you that Santa is watching and he knows.

moving along....

Due to the financial embarrassment that I have been experiencing throughout the year I am debating on whether or not I will be giving gifts this year. That thought is soo far fetched for me. One of my co-workers said that my friends and family will understand that I just couldn't make the christmas train this year. True, a friend will understand...*sigh* Then why havent I told anyone yet? Why does my heart drop EVERYTIME I think about telling my folks? If I dont give any gifts can I still accept?

All these things float through my head and it hits me that I have yet to think about church and christmas mass (shamefully the one time of year I make it into church with no fear of lightening :-). I am more worried with gifts and spending. I sign off telling you to have a Merry Xmas and try not to lose sight of what this holiday is really about"the birth of someone greater than anything I could get my loved ones at Target".

If I do decide to not give any presents this year I just hope Santa is my pixie 'cause I know he'll understand and I'll get something nice.

What are your views on the true meaning of xmas? LET MAMACHEL KNOW!!!!

music

A BIRTHDAY TO FORGET *Misconceptions*

Hey People It was Mamachel's b-day last week. The 21st of November to be exact. I'm 25 and still I have no clue when does this wise thing happen?!!!! I entered the day with high hopes that it would be different from past ones. I know this is turning to my quote "Bwaay was I wrong". So wrong I hesistated writing about it. :-(

I thought that due to certain circumstances that were never around in the past this brithday would be maybe not Great but better. Listen people its is a dangerous thing that feeling called hope and expectation.

I went to dinner with the folks guys, then after certain events I went home to sleep. I got a bowl of chocolate cookies from my co-worker Keesha (thanks babe) If i could save those cookies I would. Because apart from that and the dinner and a card from esther that's all I got. Dont get it twisted I'm beyond grateful for the gifts I received I have had b-days when I have not received anything (lets not dwell on the past).

Now Kim I think it is certain that I my life is a extended series of Punk'd because at 2 in the morning I get a call from the one person I wanted to see the most saying sorry.. Now in all honesty dont you think I deserved more than a sorry? To date I am still waiting on an explanation or an attempt on redemption. I agree that unforseen things happen but an explanation can ease the hurt alot.

Would it then be wrong of me to deduce that I mean nothing to this person? That I must have a misconception as to where we are in this ? Let Mamachel know...? Its not my friends problem today it is mine :-(

So there you have it guys no roses, no kisses, no candy, nothing.. What's a girl to do?

Mamachel See Boops deh :-)

Hey Peeps!!!

Its Mamachel once again!!! Thanks for all the comments on "strangest vibrations" I hoped to hear more from the male point of view but such is life.
This week while online a friend and I were engaged in a Msn conversation (see below). His question brought back memories....

Scene: New Kingston

Date: July 2006

I stand outside a very famous establishment waiting with bated breathe for my "blind date" to alight from his car (german made well criss with the ris and stuff). As I stood there I envisioned a handsome guy dress to the nines. Bwaay was I wrong. People, when i say wrong I mean 50 degrees to the left wrong. The guy looked like Pumba from the Lion King (not cute) dressed to the nines alright in some FUBU Gear. Being the brave chica that I am I swallowed my fear and decided to see whats on the inside plus I was hungry (why waste a dress). Fast Forward to the end of the night and this story ends with me excusing myself to the bathroom and never returning. When I called my friend that set us up to ask her WHY??!!!!!. The response I got was "my girl him have crazzzyy money, just shut yuh eye." No, No, No, that ugliness penetrate any eyelid. Safe to say Pumba never heard from me again.

Back to the present questions at hand. Is money everything? Or should we give these guys a break I mean some would say that all they did was find a way to live with the ugliness. And the women are not completely without blame. Are these women users? I personally think that sometimes a person's personality outshines any physical faults and some of these women genuinely like these men, its the ones in the FUBU gear that scare me. (joking) I would love to hear your opinion.

Curious says:
so.. me an my friends were standin outside the gym talking an chilling right

Curious says:
and we deh deh a look on some of the women them and who them role up wid and what them drive and stuff

Curious says:
so we got to talking..

Curious says:
the three of us are good looking educated, ambitious young men, weh nuh have no bonafide wife..
Curious says:
so we were thinking... u know them ugly ass man dem weh nuh have NO sense, but have a dope car, and a KRISS girl

Curious says:
and u always hear people a say "how him get dat girl..."

Curious says:
or "what she doin wid him"

Curious says:
well.. u really cant fight dem man deh... u know WHY..

Curious says:
cause dem a di f#@!z weh a spen MONEY pon di woman dem... dem a wine and dine d woman dem

Curious says:
tek dem go gym, give dem car...

Curious says:
while the good looking "educated" ambitious man dem... nah spen a ras scent

Curious says:
so realloy and truly.... is di ugly ass rich man dem a play di game right !

Mamachel says:
NO WORRIES I WILL INVESTIGATE :-)

Mamachel take 2

Hey,

Welcome to another great adventure of mamachel. This is not a distress signal. Unfortunately, I am in the same situation as last week "Stranded". When will this scene change you might ask? I myself am trying to figure that out as I type. I'm still trying to remain optimistic tonight (hmm) Anyways, once again I have stayed late to work and my taxi is "indisposed" so i'm stranded. Everyday, apart from being thankful to be alive I wonder couple of things 1." Am I being punk'd?" , 2." Where is the rainbow, lord knows its been raining long enough" and 3."How hard can it be to get a car?" Well I'm here (trust me I'm here). Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today because today was just plain shit. Kim you really think i'm being punk'd, I might be forced to concurr (lol)

Over and Out ... Until Next time

Mamachel :-(

First ever mamachel post (Stranded!!!!)

Hey Guys,

Once again I have found myself stranded. This is not a distress call :-) Just sounding out to the level of frustration that I am going through this week. I'm beyond miserable and to top it off I stayed late for an impromtu meeting to now find myself stranded. So I have taken on the ever optimistic vibe that things cannot get anymore frustrating and God will get me a ride home. So do not be surprised that when you read this email and should you decide to reply I will be here to see it. Well its goodbye for now and know that I will keep you updated on the ever exciting 'ADVENTURES OF MAMACHEL' :-)


LATA,

Mamachel Have the Strangest Vibrations

"Somethings gotta go wrong 'cause I'm felling way too damn good"

Hey People!!!
All my fans will be happy to know that I have moved from the stranded stage, thanks to my new and ever prompt taxi driver Chris. Iam therefore in some odd sort of way mobile. With my transportation dilemna clarified I was at a loss with what to write about this week. Fret not!!! My friend Stephen* decided to quiz me today on a conflict inducing topic of MAN and WOMAN RELATIONSHIP. Now we all know that he must be in serious desperation if him asking the I for advice. Stephen* wanted to know why is it that girls love Bad boys and Guys love the girls they can never get? SAY WHAT??!!! This was beyond me... This little advice session soon turned to a class with me as the pupil.

Past experience would lead me to believe that a girl could be able to put her legs completely behind her head and sing the yankle doodle dandy all while drinking a frozen daquiri from Tastees Patty and her man would still give her bun with a normal girl with the bounti killa lip.. I'm just saying who knows why we do the things we do?

If you have any input feel free to reply I would like to hear from both sexes in this matter...

* Names have been changed to protect the identity of of my compatriots....

Mamachel Over and Out

P.S. You may email this letter to your friends..